It’s how you got here. It’s how everybody got here. AWESOME! Photo from: here | Continue reading
The hotel shower faucet is a 7:00am Brain Teaser. You strip down and peel back the flimsy white curtain to size up the challenger and you find it staring back at you — a clump of shiny dials and spouts with made-up marketing names like Temprol, Relaxashower, or Aquasomething. Som … | Continue reading
AWESOME! Illustration from: Monsieur Cabinet | Continue reading
Do you remember the first time? Were you leaning back in red plushy tundra at the theater, twisted like a mummy under a basement blanket, or by yourself with headphones on a long-haul flight? Where were you when you saw your favorite movie? Me, I was back in college with a few fr … | Continue reading
It’s the battle of the bugs. When I was a kid I was deathly afraid of needles. Nothing was scarier than getting jabbed by some lady in blue smocks. And I mean nothing, too: not crackly furnace noises through bedroom vents, walking around unfinished basements in the dark, or even … | Continue reading
Milkshakes must be made from just ice cream and milk and poured from a giant metal cup into a really heavy glass. The metal cup should have more milkshake left over and get all frosted up before you pour the deliciously creamy bubbles-n-lumps mixture into your glass. All fries sh … | Continue reading
Have you ever waited in a really long line? I’m not talking five minutes getting to the bathroom at half-time, ten minutes sock-slipping in airport security, or even fifteen minutes outside the movies opening night. I’m talking about those forever-long lines that hit you like a h … | Continue reading
AWESOME! Illustration from: Monsieur Cabinet | Continue reading
What a show. Flashing lights, sweaty shirts, and screaming crowds get loud while guitars jam, voices scream, and everyone sings along. Now the song’s all gone and we’re suddenly left with a hyped up scene in the afterglow of the show. Screaming for the band to give an encore is l … | Continue reading
“Look down,” Leslie said. “All the men are bald.” We were sipping paper cups of water during intermission at a play last night and she was looking over the railing into the intermissing-throngs below. There was a lineup for brownies at the snacks table and a messy sea of people m … | Continue reading
I have an addiction. Whenever I’ve been hanging out with a toddler for over twenty minutes I always have to ask them to guess my age. I can’t explain this terrible disease other than to say I find their answers hilarious. Sometimes I get the sheepish “I don’t knowwwwwwwww!” follo … | Continue reading
I was driving up Neon Light Alley yesterday. Whipping up suburban roads I was high-tailing my way to a greasy lunch with some pals from the office. Photocopier fumes, blinking red lights, and pressing deadlines were scrambling through my brain when I suddenly saw a giant hawk soa … | Continue reading
AWESOME! Illustration from: Monsieur Cabinet | Continue reading
When I first started shaving I had a brief honeymoon phase where I actually enjoyed it. Yes, The Wolf Man walked into the bathroom and a few minutes later out popped a fifteen year old babyface wearing too much aftershave. It was about six months before I got tired of the whole d … | Continue reading
You know you love it. When those red bumpy mountains erupt out of the ground called Your Face, you suddenly notice them in the mirror and cast an evil eye. “Bastard, I’m gonna get you,” you say out loud with vengeance, startling the girls putting mascara on beside you at the bath … | Continue reading
My dad was born in 1944 in the village Tarn Taran in India. He lived in a small clapboard house on a sandy sidestreet and shared a tiny bedroom with his three brothers and one sister. He was only three when his mom died of unknown causes and the family suddenly had trouble making … | Continue reading
Thanks for heat, life, and pretty sunsets. AWESOME! | Continue reading
AWESOME! Illustration from: Monsieur Cabinet | Continue reading
I grew up riding shotgun a lot. My dad was a teacher so summers were spent fiddling with the radio dial as we dropped my mom off to work, took my sister to swimming lessons, and waited in bank lineups. Since bank machines weren’t invented yet those lineups were long and slow orde … | Continue reading
Let’s turn off the TV, put away the board games, and toss the deck of cards in the trash. Yes, it’s time to play all the made up games you played as a kid. Let’s chat about some of the greatest: • Erupting volcano (also known as Snake Pit or Shark Tank). Here’s where you … | Continue reading
Also great if it’s your boss, teacher, or mom. AWESOME! Photo from: here | Continue reading
Blowing out candles is pressure. Lights are off, song is over, and a standing circle of everyone you know crowds around as you sit facing a giant cake covered in a flaming forest of candles. Someone screams for you to make a wish and you’ve suddenly got two seconds to think of so … | Continue reading
AWESOME! Illustration by: Monsieur Cabinet | Continue reading
Welcome to Taco Night. Personally I’m going to go ahead and say potluck tacos are my favorite meal these days. I convinced my family to have Christmas Tacos a few years back — complete with festive red shells, green guac, and white sour cream — and this year on my birthday we did … | Continue reading
Smooch, smooch, smooch. Yes, nothing says love like locking lips. And whether it’s between snoozes on the futon, in the back row at the movies, or swinging from the top of the Ferris wheel, it’s always a beautiful moment when you close your eyes and connect in a soft and tender e … | Continue reading
Admit you like it. We all know slippery soap suds, rogue belly button lint, and assorted leg hair goes down smooth. But our long hippie head hair sure gets the bathtub traffic jamming and our tubs slowly filling up till we’re suddenly walking around a wading pool. Oh sure, we may … | Continue reading
No low bars, no dark screens. No redlines, no flatlines, no waiting in between. Locked and loaded in full-bar paradise makes you feel a little bit invincible. “I could last forever,” you think, strapping a charged laptop in your bag, stuffing a juiced up cell phone in your pocket … | Continue reading
AWESOME! | Continue reading
Have you ever seen a plastic factory explosion? Well let me tell you something, homegirl: It’s not a pretty sight. Toxic burnt-rubber fumes fill the air, black billowing clouds mushroom overhead, and factory guys in singed overalls run screaming in all directions. And scattered a … | Continue reading
When I was growing up we had an extra bedroom in the basement that nobody ever used. It had no windows and was coated in thick purple shag carpet and soft velvety wallpaper. There was nothing inside except an old bed with a bouncy broken mattress, a couple pillows, and piles of t … | Continue reading
Fast as possible, clear as possible, classy as possible. AWESOME! Photo from: here | Continue reading
Bow down, dirty rascals. When you’re king of castle the entire school kneels before you: 1. Romeo has left the building. Those annoying older kids who got all the lead roles in school plays and starter spots on sports teams have graduated and gone far, far away. So wherefore art … | Continue reading
AWESOME! Illustration from: Monsieur Cabinet | Continue reading
We used to pee in ponds. Believe it — back before the third millennium BC there was no such thing as toilets. It was sometime around then we all agreed that pooping in the corner was to be frowned upon and so began the dawn of “The Age of Cleanliness.” One place toilets first pop … | Continue reading
First, some apologies. We’re sorry, Endurance Wrapper. You spent thirty minutes getting the present just right with your scissor-frilled ribbons, crisply folded corners, and those adorable little bows. You put time in and we didn’t respect that with your raccoon-with-rabies slaug … | Continue reading
Every city has a street. It’s the quiet cul-de-sac where all the neighbors play it big for Christmas and decorate their homes with the great light show the world has ever seen. Word gets out through the local paper or radio station and soon everyone knows it’s just the place to g … | Continue reading
It’s a wonderful life. When you’re bunkering in the basement to get away from the holiday madness upstairs, it’s always nice when the channel flipping pops you onto your favorite old flashback. Which classic gem burrows into your heart? • That Rudolph stop-motion special. Sam the … | Continue reading
AWESOME! Illustration from: Monsieur Cabinet | Continue reading
Be one with the stir fry. Last night I worked late in cubicle jungle and drove down dark highways to arrive at my cold and lonely apartment after 8pm. After flicking on a couple lamps, turning on the stereo, and staring in the fridge, I decided to suddenly get ambitious and fry u … | Continue reading
You’re out for dinner. You’re having a chat in your booth when a rogue child suddenly appears at your table. Everybody stops to look at the Junior Runaway, living the romantic nomadic life between sticky tables and wobbly chairs at the chain restaurant. There are smiles, a couple … | Continue reading
Do you remember RSVPs? Yes, back in second grade when I scored a birthday party invite there was some social protocol that followed. I put the brightly colored cardboard on the fridge, we checked the kitchen calendar, and my mom phoned the other kid’s mom to let them know I’d be … | Continue reading
What’s your favorite local diner? Mine has gotta be California Sandwiches, a tiny hole-in-the-wall wedged between rusting clapboard houses in the middle of downtown Toronto. Sure, the word “sandwiches” is spelled wrong on the sign, the floor is always greasy, and the bathrooms ma … | Continue reading
The Meal Echo is any perfectly recreated plate of turkey, veggies, stuffing, and pie made from all the leftovers from yesterday’s pig-out. Microwaved brussels sprouts, steamed turkey chunks, and stirred up gravy all combine into a perfect follow-up to the feast. AWESOME! | Continue reading
Let freedom ring from the felt-covered walls of cubicle farms. Let freedom ring from the dimly lit university dorms. Let freedom ring from cell phones at the back of the train. Let freedom ring from laptops at the back of the plane. But not only that — let freedom ring from daily … | Continue reading
It’s time to fill your plate with two kinds of pie, Grandma’s homemade squares, a few scattered pieces of fruit, and a big swirl of whipped cream over everything. Nobody will judge you on Thanksgiving. Just make sure you use the big plate. AWESOME! Photo from: here | Continue reading
Standing is big. After all, we’re the audience here — we came, we paid, we get to sit down. The deal is we put our feet up, spill popcorn everywhere, and whisper to our friends while you prance about trying to entertain us. Dance your little dance, speech your little speech, play … | Continue reading
You’re like a cat. Maybe it’s Sunday afternoon and you’re exhausted after a long week. Teething babies, bickering boyfriends, everything’s taken its toll. So when you spot that bright sunbeam shining through the window pane it’s time to collapse on the dusty carpet in the front r … | Continue reading
No cookie on the white stuff. No white stuff on the cookie. AWESOME! Photo from: here | Continue reading