“Trump’s blue suit at Pope’s funeral draws attention… President Trump’s choice stood out in a sea of world leaders and famous faces who were dressed in customary black.” — New York Times, 4/26/25 - - - 1. Shows up at a solemn global event in a blinding shade of blue, disrupting e … | Continue reading
“U.S. texts Barnard employees and asks if they are Jewish…. The texts, which faculty members said appeared to have gone to nearly all Barnard staff members, appear to be part of an aggressive new tactic by the Trump administration to collect reports of alleged antisemitism at Bar … | Continue reading
Right now, you’re behind me, within reading distance on the freeway, at the stoplight, in the parking lot, maybe in the drive-thru line, or perhaps in my very own driveway (anywhere but a gas station, really), and I know what you’re thinking. But before you form another thought, … | Continue reading
I was a goner, they said. Oh well. Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been born before they dug up all the words. & we’d just stand around trying not to explode. I wanted, above all, & with no regard for human life, to play my Atari & be alone without ugliness. I admit I liked people … | Continue reading
Hey, everyone, I couldn’t help overhearing in this giant, nigh-deserted, echoey castle that you were doing an elaborate musical number where everyone was involved. Well, almost everyone. It seems like you forgot about me, the servant in this castle who was turned into a chamberpo … | Continue reading
Compiled while sitting through a three-hour public hearing and rethinking life choices. - - - Are you a citizen trying to understand urban planning? A newly minted planner who keeps accidentally saying “zoning entitlement” in casual conversation? A mayor who treats public hearing … | Continue reading
“What do you think sunshine tastes like?” La Croix asks on its website and in the marketing materials for the launch of its latest flavor of sparkling water. You won’t be given the chance to guess, because they immediately answer their own question with “The Deliciously Fascinati … | Continue reading
Day 1 It’s been twenty-three hours since I first found myself in this dark world of dusty puppets. A few have tried to befriend me, street rats, eyepatch-wearing cats, strutting chickens trying to make a quick bawk, but I’ve so far denied their advances. I have remnants of memori … | Continue reading
There is no me without you. Would I remember your phone number if my contacts were suddenly deleted, with no backups? If I’m being completely honest, not even the area code. - - - I have known you for the entirety of my time on this mortal plane. Should we FaceTime with the kids? … | Continue reading
1. Grandparents who are alive, healthy, live nearby, and agile enough to get down onto the floor to clean up meals and snacks but not too agile that they would rather be out walking their shih tzus, biking across the Dutch countryside, or doing literally anything else with their … | Continue reading
“More than 150 university and college presidents co-signed a letter Tuesday condemning the Trump administration’s recent efforts to dictate the policies of private higher education institutions in exchange for federal funding.” — NBC News - - - As president of Frat Party Universi … | Continue reading
This year, as cities around the world commemorate Earth Day, we, the Trump administration, will instead be celebrating America—the only part of the Earth that matters. And as part of our ongoing efforts to make America great again by slashing wasteful government spending, we are … | Continue reading
- - - The Mother is a hilarious and harrowingly honest graphic memoir about Tendency contributor Rachel Deutsch’s journey into motherhood, from first dates to a first birthday and everything in between. Provocative and candid, The Mother illustrates the joys, challenges, and absu … | Continue reading
With apologies to the great Joni Mitchell. - - - All right, I’ll just say it: I really, really like our town’s new parking lot. And I know how controversial it was, given that it replaced paradise. Those were some of the longest, angriest meetings of the zoning subcommittee I’ve … | Continue reading
“Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth shared detailed information about forthcoming strikes in Yemen on March 15 in a private Signal group chat that included his wife, brother and personal lawyer, according to four people with knowledge of the chat.” — New York Times - - - I’m a Wife G … | Continue reading
Let’s make one thing very clear: So far, there is almost no proof that JD Vance is directly responsible for the death of Pope Francis. All we know is that the vice president met with the pope and, a few hours later, the pope was dead. To draw a line between those two facts would … | Continue reading
“The Trump administration is now flirting with lawless defiance of court orders.” — New York Times - - - This administration repeatedly ignores court rulings, so, sure, it looks like we are breaking many laws. But even though it seems very, very obvious to everyone that we’re bre … | Continue reading
“Failing history. Insists on listing all dates as ‘Before Me’ and ‘After Me.’ Guidance counselor says that he is ‘unusually egocentric for a child of his age.’” “Chews gum during class. Once, when I asked if he’d ‘brought enough for the whole class,’ Jesus pulled the wad from his … | Continue reading
“I like to imagine that ‘Like a G6’ is what they play in the seventh ascension of the Galaxy Brain, a tesseract where linear time ceases to exist and the past and future become one.” - - - A rotating guest column in which writers reexamine critically unacclaimed works of art - - … | Continue reading
“The Blue Origin flight showcased the utter defeat of American feminism.” — Moira Donegan, The Guardian. - - - Jeff, my man. It’s Dave. How the hell are you? Oh, fine, fine. Wife’s good, kids are good. Great. Listen, uh—we got a situation. We forgot one. In space. No, not Katy Pe … | Continue reading
1. There’s an innovative American automotive manufacturer being run by a total bigot. 2. In large swaths of the country, a marginalized community is banned from using certain bathrooms for no other reason than to make their lives miserable. 3. Marijuana is legal in some states bu … | Continue reading
You thought this morning was going well, didn’t you? You even got your kid to put on their shoes without a ten-minute existential crisis about sock seams. You were this close to making it out the door unscathed. But you forgot one thing. Me. I am the zipper on this slightly-too-s … | Continue reading
Everyone looks to the stock market to figure out if we’re heading into a recession. Sure, it has some info—for example, the market right now would tell us we definitely are—but that’s not the only recession warning sign we should be on the lookout for. If you know where to train … | Continue reading
Dear Educator, As you are aware, your state legislature has mandated that the Ten Commandments be displayed in all publicly funded classrooms. Those funds are, of course, inadequate to equip and compensate you and your colleagues, thanks in part to your administration’s strategic … | Continue reading
I’m watching birds at all hours now. I can see thirty, fifty birds a week, sometimes even more if I don’t put it all in my journal. All the animals come out in the morning: blue jays, warblers, northern cardinals, hawks, sparrows, ruddy ducks. Someday, a real rain will come down … | Continue reading
Please take a few moments to let us know how you’d like your tax dollars spent by the Trump administration. 1. It’s important to me that my money supports… a) public television b) national parks c) irrigation for the Mar-a-Lago golf course 2. In this era of climate crisis, the go … | Continue reading
People think of Applebee’s as a safe suburban fixture, a place where people go for an innocuous meal at a reasonable price—but strap in, jagoff, because this Applebee’s is not like other Applebee’s. Instead of license plates and joyful Americana, our walls are festooned with divo … | Continue reading
- - - My latest book is called This Is How We Love: The Foto-Novel. It’s the story behind the worst movie to have ever won the Academy Award. Have you not heard of this movie? Let me tell you about it. But where to begin? Should we begin with the fabled “curse” that afflicted nea … | Continue reading
As a medical professional, I’ve dedicated my career to improving public health and promoting evidence-based practices. This is why I am here today to tell you that one of the most widely used tools for measuring obesity—body mass index (BMI)—is a failure. Now, as surgeon general, … | Continue reading
Women are just like bears. Each spring, we emerge from a winter-induced torpor state and begin the difficult process of relearning how to act like a (human) lady. Here’s a step-by-step guide for reentering polite society. 1. Move Slowly It’s important not to rush when burrowing o … | Continue reading
I was half-listening to a true crime podcast when the ad came on. I perked up when I realized it was for White Lotus branded coffee creamer. It promised something like a luxurious Thai vacation vibe without leaving your house, and I wondered if the ad writers had ever seen White … | Continue reading
Our tribe is facing an existential threat. Now is not the time for division. We must work together to protect our future. That’s why, instead of invoking the ten plagues and escaping to the Promised Land, we need to support the Pharaoh, no matter how detrimental he is to our trib … | Continue reading
“Long-threatened tariffs from U.S. President Donald Trump have plunged the country into trade wars abroad, all while on-again, off-again new levies continue to escalate uncertainty.” — PBS, 4/10/25 - - - We’ve all been there: You send a gang of plainclothes agents to abduct a wom … | Continue reading
Don’t be embarrassed, it’s a common mistake. You look around and think, Yep, this is it. Paramilitary deportations, apocalyptic foreign policy, and private corporations looting the federal government. This has to be the Fourth Reich. Not so fast, my friend. That’s a protected ter … | Continue reading
- - - Dear Readers, A few years ago, when my godson was graduating from high school, I went looking for a suitably impressive of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass. I thought a well-made hardcover edition would make a great gift, given that Leaves of Grass is the closest thing we hav … | Continue reading
“President Trump on Wednesday abruptly reversed course on steep global tariffs that have roiled markets, upset members of his own party and raised fears of a recession. Just hours after he put punishing levies into place on nearly 60 countries, the president said he would pause t … | Continue reading
I’m not into politics. Never have been. That’s why it was so refreshing to have a candidate who wasn’t the same old same old, but a raging animated ape. Donkey Kong might not be the most sophisticated public speaker, but it sure was entertaining to go to his rallies. None of the … | Continue reading
3:45 a.m. – Wake naturally to the soft sigh of a ghost. Or maybe it’s the hum of the Amherst wind through the shutters. Either way, it’s a Sign. Do not question the Sign. 4:00 a.m. – Lie completely still and compose six hauntingly perfect quatrains in your mind. Refuse to scribbl … | Continue reading
1. Florida Intranational University 2. Johns Hopkins School of Remunerative Medicine 3. Facebook.edu/DeVry 4. Colorado School of Mines—Nuuk 5. Michigan State Online: East Lansing Cohort Cohabitation program brought to you by Airbnb 6. UMass MasterClass 7. Amazon Prime Learning Sc … | Continue reading
“President Herbert Hoover signed the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act in 1930, even as many economists warned that the levies would prompt retaliatory tariffs from other countries, which is precisely what happened… Most historians look back on Smoot-Hawley as a mistake that made a bad eco … | Continue reading
“President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariff plans hammered global financial markets and U.S. stocks braced for more turmoil on Monday, after he warned foreign governments they would have to pay ‘a lot of money’ to lift the levies he called ‘medicine.’” — Reuters - - - I know it hur … | Continue reading
Dear Star Bank Customer, We’re writing to let you know that the Star Bank online portal is down today. You won’t be able to log in or access your money. We apologize for the inconvenience. Please don’t call or stop by the bank in person. It’s a mess right now. Sincerely, Star Ban … | Continue reading
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, because the chemical plant jaundicing the region was ordered by a court to create an alternative, protected footpath for local residents. Because I could not stop for Death, I paid $1,600 every month to COBRA until I died of measles, about whi … | Continue reading
I am out of the office today and Friday to solve every existential quandary I’ve been putting off arguably since 2023 when, as far as I can tell, I simply quit thinking. - - - Hi, I’m out of the office. If you have anything urgent, please get in touch with the fact that there’s p … | Continue reading
“I’m coming to Boston, I’m bringing hell with me.” —Tom Homan, “border czar” and former acting director of ICE - - - Hell is not a lake of fire, nor is it composed of the circles Dante envisioned, like an infant’s stacking toy. It’s not “The Bad Place” of sitcom fame, though it’s … | Continue reading
“My favorite moment in production is walking on set for the first time and thinking, This could go horribly. Because then you’re really risking something.” - - - Before Noah Hawley created his renowned television adaptation of the 1996 Coen brothers’ classic film Fargo, he spent … | Continue reading
1. White people achieve new levels of whiteness via their most privileged impulses. 2. The stars of the show are a group of entitled and insensitive characters who may or may not face the consequences of their own actions. 3. There will be some antagonists and villains from previ … | Continue reading
“A stunned world reckons with economic fallout from Trump’s tariffs. Not even America’s closest trading partners were spared by a policy broadside that spooked investors and left policymakers scrambling to formulate responses.” — New York Times - - - My fellow Americans, For far … | Continue reading