“As Texas faced record-low temperatures this February and snow and ice made roads impassable, the state’s electric grid operator lost control of th... | Continue reading
I am not a picky eater. I regularly eat boxed mac and cheese, not just Kraft but the $0.35 generic box that tastes little more than bleach flour an... | Continue reading
“This shows how the Green New Deal would be a deadly deal for the United States of America.” — Texas Governor Greg Abbott on the massive cold-weath... | Continue reading
Hey, all. It’s Me, God. I just wanted to let everyone know I’ve decided to give you Lent off this year. Instead of the usual “give up something imp... | Continue reading
I am a local. That means I am from here. Where are you from?Never heard of it.I was born and raised here. Not born technically, but raised. Well,... | Continue reading
“The nation’s top public health agency said Friday that in-person schooling can resume safely with masks, social distancing and other strategies, a... | Continue reading
Whether you are working from your DC office or your home in LA or New York, here’s all you need to know to become an expert on Iran.1. Always refe... | Continue reading
Oh, hey there. I couldn’t help but notice that you were staring at my legs. No, you did not slip on a patch of ice and somehow wake up on a tennis ... | Continue reading
- - -Download a FREE printable PDF version to play at home. | Continue reading
(There’s some bores in this house)(There’s some bores in this house)I said, certified geeksFor 12347 weeks1White-ass presidentsMake this count... | Continue reading
Good day, America. ‘Tis I, William Henry Harrison, 9th U.S. president, ‘Ol Tippecanoe, humbly coming before you this President’s Day to ask you aga... | Continue reading
“Nice mask,” he said.I didn’t hear him clearly because of the wind, but I felt his presence. I turned around to see it was the man standing behind... | Continue reading
I Cupid, officially announce my retirement as the mascot of Saint Valentine’s Day. Given this is an occasion to celebrate romantic love, as a chubb... | Continue reading
Product: EveUser: Adam (firstman@aol.com)Review: A mixed bag. Major improvement over the Lilith model (DO NOT BUY) but needed an entire rib to ac... | Continue reading
“After watching graphic video from the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol, many Republican senators denounced the violence but said they were still incli... | Continue reading
Phase one of my master plan is complete, sheeple. Your days of saying “Merry Christmas!” to every Tom, Dick, and Harry on the street are over. It’s... | Continue reading
Real Pants, the wardrobe staple that enjoyed global success for centuries, passed away peacefully, surrounded by family who were working from home.... | Continue reading
Hello, it’s me, your sudden onset adult acne. I know things are bad right now, and I’m here to make them even worse by absolutely fucking shit up f... | Continue reading
The part in “Hey Jude” about wivesEverybody loves singing along with their friends to this classic — especially when the “na-na-na-naaaa” part kic... | Continue reading
“Sorrel began the day here at Shining Dewdrop Peaceful Heart Song Montessori Children’s House with an absorbent mind, eager to self-construct! Duri... | Continue reading
“I’m not Ken Starr or Alan Dershowitz. You’re not going to get a law professor’s explanation… I’m a guy who gets up in court and talks.” — Bruce Ca... | Continue reading
Bizarre character twists, R-rated dialogue, and hours of silent glaring — that’s what you can expect in Seasons 13-18 of Your Child’s Life.Everyon... | Continue reading
Star Trek into DarknessThe USS Enterprise is attacked in space, a loud explosion on screen as the ship splits.CPT. KIRK: I know you’re all worrie... | Continue reading
Amanda Uhle spoke with Courtney Zoffness about her forthcoming book of essays, Spilt Milk, which has already earned starred reviews from Publishers... | Continue reading
This is my machine, dammit, and now that I’ve finally built it, I’m going to make a tweak that will have unquestionably positive effects on my life... | Continue reading
Hi, neighbors —We just wrapped another productive neighborhood council meeting yesterday. Lisa should be getting those meeting notes out to us any... | Continue reading
1. Tell a story about no one doing nothing in no words and never write it down.2. Stephen King said, “Revising a story down to the bare essentials... | Continue reading
Congratulations on the purchase of your ham sandwich.Soon all the pleasures of this delicious sandwich will be yours.After you complete the 32-st... | Continue reading
“The 2021 Golden Globes nominations were announced Wednesday morning. And among the biggest surprises was that Netflix’s ‘Emily in Paris’ was nomin... | Continue reading
“I often note, ‘I’m going to circle back’ — I hate to disappoint conservative Twitter, but I’m going to circle back on a number of things.” — Whit... | Continue reading
“I never said any of these things since I have been elected for Congress. These were words of the past, and these things do not represent me.” — R... | Continue reading
“At a time when our country needs to come together, Democrats in Congress are rehashing the same strategy that they employed for the last four year... | Continue reading
Due to high demand and constrained supply, COVID-19 vaccines are severely limited at this time. Since distributing the vaccine based on logical nee... | Continue reading
Dear Mr. Peter Morgan, CBE,We almost had it. We were on the brink of erasing monarchy lovers everywhere. Then, you came along and just had to make... | Continue reading
There I was, casually filling my Instacart with the whole milk, broccoli, and different incarnations of chicken that my family goes through endless... | Continue reading
1. “Weston Road Flows”2. “Orlando Sleepin’”3. “In My Feelings”4. “Too Good”5. “Final Fantasy”6. “Over My Dead Body”7. “Coy Joy”8. “Wandering... | Continue reading
Q: When did you work as a mystery shopper?A: It was 2014 to 2017. At the time, we had a young daughter at home and we couldn’t pay for daycare, so... | Continue reading
“Senator Mitch McConnell said on Monday that the ‘loony lies and conspiracy theories’ embraced by Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene amounted to... | Continue reading
Sometimes it feels like the things we learned in school are useless (especially considering they could have been teaching us to do taxes or pick go... | Continue reading
“I just love winter,” said the man from Northern California.- - -“It’s so fun to get all bundled up and brave the outdoors,” said the man whose wi... | Continue reading
“DIANE! IT’S PHIL! YOU KNOW THE GRAHNHAWG YOU BLEW OFF FOR PROM 26 YEARS GO. It’s been a while.” — Punxsutawney Phil drunk-dialing his high school ... | Continue reading
1. Your Fiddle-Leaf Fig plant sits atop a jade throne in the Fifth Court of Feng-Du.This should raise a huge red flag since Fiddle-Leaf Figs are t... | Continue reading
There’s no place like home. This private basement bedroom is perfect for long weekends, holiday stays, or extended visits. Departure dates are flex... | Continue reading
“The Road Not Taken (AKA Kappa Party ‘07)”Two roads diverged in the woods where Sig Ep has their “Bonfire & Babes” party, and I — I took my ... | Continue reading
“GOP congresswoman [Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene] blamed wildfires on secret Jewish space laser.” — New York Magazine, 1/28/21- - -INDICATIONS AND ... | Continue reading
“The reason the market is doing what it’s doing is people are sitting at home getting checks from the government… This fair share, is a BULLSHIT co... | Continue reading
The big runup in the stock market has people worried. There are reasons to think it’s headed for a major decline, what with the pandemic still ragi... | Continue reading
Dear Strangers, Friends, and Family,I’m glad you are all here as I’d like to take a moment to thank you for helping me through, what I’m gathering... | Continue reading