The funny thing is I don’t miss much about my so-called yesterdays. Least of all, I do not miss the times or the memories that no longer seem to benefit me.So much has happened.But yesterday is yesterday. I am so far removed from who I was, regardless of how close I’d like to beO … | Continue reading
And suddenly, I am someone else and jettisoned to someplace warm, like say, away from all the useless small talk and the nonsense that takes place in our everyday journey.I have this dream.That’s all.It’s nothing huge or crazy.This is more simple than it seems.I swear it is. And … | Continue reading
This is from the heart, of course.I swear that all of this is true and that all of this is unfiltered.I have to do this, by the way.I have to let this out, otherwise, emotions can spoil and my thoughts can turn against me. I say all of this without thinking, as if to open […] | Continue reading
I do not suppose that anyone hopes to find the obstacles ahead of them. Yet, we all have them.Obstacles, I mean. I suppose if we could have it easy, then we would choose to have it easy and thus, none of us would struggle.No one would hurt.No one would experience the lows or fall … | Continue reading
This was written to you in pieces. I kept notes of my thoughts throughout the night and compiled them together after hours of up and down, and sleepless trips to the bathroom.I suppose there could be different meanings behind this. For example, snow is falling at the moment.I lik … | Continue reading
In the beginning, there was light and the light was good.In the beginning, it was the beginning and you and I had yet to know what was about to come. I write this to you,staggering my thoughts so I can break them downand hopefully,you can understand where I am. I do not want find … | Continue reading
There is no space between now and then. I know this both intellectuallyand emotionally. The physical distance between usis only somethingthat discusses our proximity;and yet, I am not closernor farther from youand nor can I ever be distantfrom you now or ever againbecause I could … | Continue reading
Before I go onward, I recognize that I am and that I will forever be a fan.I am a fan of different things. But more, I am a fan of things that make me think or feel. I am a fan of things that drive me to be unafraid to change or walk against the […] | Continue reading
The best saying I have ever heard is “sometimes being bad feels pretty good.” And I do confirm. Sometimes being bad does feel pretty good. I stand behind the belief that sometimes you have to defy the rules. You have to go against the odds. You have to experience what it feels li … | Continue reading
I love the feelings I have when sitting on rooftops.I always have and I always will . . .I have always liked this, since youth, or since the time when I realized that my thoughts needed more than just my bedroom to settle down. I can see how our thoughts can be infinite, like the … | Continue reading
This one is not new.Then again, everything I write to you is current, as in now and taking place as we speak. The question itself is old and the question is this:What would you say to yourself if you could go back to you at any age? My answers have changed over the years. Then [… … | Continue reading
I see them.all the timethe youththe youngor some may call themthe so-called disenfranchised youthand the misunderstood, or the unusual. I see them and thinkhow this usually brings us aroundto the reason whythere are differencesat the different tablesin the school’s cafeteria. I s … | Continue reading
Soon enoughthe sun comes closer to the northand the red breasted robinswill show up to signify proofof spring. This meansit is only a short ways awayfrom summer. I look up –Moonlit momentsmake me wonder when it wasthe first timeI saw beauty or like how the streetlampscast a bluis … | Continue reading
I suppose the worst thing to beis to be the sumof someone else’s assumptions,or at least, I assumethe worst I can be is the sumof someone’s conclusion. Never be the beastthat someone elseclaims you to beand before anything elsenever be the sumof someone’s predictions, unless, of … | Continue reading
And so, what does it meanto be beautiful?I wonder. I stand at the corner of hopeand wish that perhaps somedayI will find myself in greener pastures.beautiful as ever, or if everI my hope is thatI should find my placewhere I belong . . .and when I doI hope this place is gracedby g … | Continue reading
Verse 1: Life comesand I shake my head. It amazes me.All of this Everything from the ground upor from the grass roots of how we areor where we come from; all of thisfrom the floor of our existenceand upwards to the limitless sky –all of our “everything”is amazing to me. Still,as … | Continue reading
The summer is goneand it’s been a minutesince the warmth from the sunwas enough to bronze the skin I know . . . My feelings for the seaside momentsill be with me until the day that I die.I’m sure. At the same time,if it were my choicepeople like you and I would never diebecause t … | Continue reading
Since it is sothat one became two and two became four, then of course, I understand the aftermath of what takes place when we decide to walk away. Everyone has a past, you know?Everyone has a historyand everyone has a story that sits behind their secretsor keeps us quieteven when … | Continue reading
In the beginningI suppose we all startedwith the best of intentionsat least, I can say this is truein most cases.Or, soI hope. In the beginningour intentions differedbecause, of coursethis wasthe beginningand the middle had yetto occur enoughto spoil our imaginationwith realistic … | Continue reading
1) Silly kids . . . It is really no point inreviving the argumentsor fighting the fightsjust to keep them alivewhen essentiallythey mean nothing. Literally . . .. . . nothing. I am no more sure of myselfthan you are sure of you. However,when I was young,I was told to mind my busi … | Continue reading
One became twoand two became fourand so onand somehow,age takes placeand here I am nowmuch older than I am younger. One by one,the world turns around the sunanother time. And she— She is the inestimable versionof mankind’s reason to be irrational;that is, of courseif love itselfi … | Continue reading
Verse 1: The concept of last nightmeans everything and anythingto me.This entails anything thatI can dream aboutwhich means that anything and everythingis within my reach. But then againhindsight is always perfectespecially, after the aftermathunfolds. The misconceptions of our p … | Continue reading
Please Note: This journal will be written more as an artform or in different forms of poetry. Either way, all of my entries will come from my streams of consciousness.No thoughts to the words.No acting or pretending.Just writing.Just words from the heart.That’s all. I feel this; … | Continue reading
Today is the day that I put an end to this. I am done with the lunatics in my head and done with all else that distracts me from who I am or who I choose to be. There are nights when I have dreams and I am faced with the younger version of myself. […] | Continue reading
When you escape the fact that no one is coming to save your life, and when you realize that your freedom can only be claimed by you, then you have no other choice but to save your own life.You have to do this without exception.And, if you are broken, then you are already broken. … | Continue reading
Your last role in the toxic playground amazes me. This is not to say that you are toxic or that you and I are toxic together.No, I have no place or position to point fingers at anyone and nor do I have the right to judge or condemn.Let me say this, when it comes to […] | Continue reading
The sun came up from the east as usual this morning. I dreamt about the horizon and how the underbelly held the colors of sunrise.I love these moments. They are limited by number, but beautiful nonetheless. I love the early mornings when the heavens above are laced with scattered … | Continue reading
These notes to myself from my prison cell have helped. But I am still lost and my defense has yet to get off the ground.I have appealed to the process is killing me(slowly)I hate this real fiction business.But it is what it is. I remember coming out from a place where I was hidde … | Continue reading
The wind was howling sometime around midnight last night. Then everything turned quiet.There was an odd, yet somber tension to the moment. I suppose this is because this morning is called Christmas Eve on the other side of Purgatory.No one spoke last night. No one set any notes d … | Continue reading
And when there is nowhere left to turn, or when you have nothing else, not even hope, all you can do is stand to the best of your ability, even if you can’t take the pain, and face the world.When all are gone, or when all have abandoned hope, and when there is no one […] | Continue reading
There was something in the air. I can say that. I knew something was about to happen.I would have no other way to describe it other than I could feel something coming, like a sense of impending news, crucial and hard, and yet there was an understanding—like a strange calmness tha … | Continue reading
I wat this more than before. Then again. I am not sure who I was before. That is of course, if there was such a thing as before.But there always is. Isn’t there?There is always a time before now; and now is the time.Now is the time when my eyes are opened enough that I […] | Continue reading
It is no different to assume a loss than it is to lose in the physical sense. Either way, the mind sees what the mind sees; whereas my time has been confined to this small place and yet, there is a great big world outside and around me.The receptors in the mind do not know […] | Continue reading
The rain fell hard last night. I could hear the raindrops hit the rooftop which kept me awake for a while. And so, I laid back and looked up at the ceiling. I thought about the hours and the days and even the minutes I spent elsewhere, looking at life with all too much confidence … | Continue reading
“Are you back again?”I suppose so.“Did they give you anything yet?I’m not sure. But the voices are louder this time.“What about the smell?Of the people you mean?“That’s when you know it’s real.” I don’t think I know if anything is real(anymore) I suppose the thing about being cra … | Continue reading
I heard the cages banging last night. There was a threat of prisoners looking to riot, which is nothing more than another day here, alive, and living with the beasts. In all fairness, I have to admit to the truth. And the truth is I am afraid. The truth is I am afraid of everyone … | Continue reading
I was thinking about the way we speak with each other. I was thinking about the words we use and their value to us. Or more to the point, I was about how we invest in the words we say or hear.Then I started to think about our selective hearing. Or maybe it would be […] | Continue reading
There was snow over the weekend in Purgatory. There wasn’t much. But there was enough to coat the ground and keep the nighttime from being as dark.Alone above, the moon took on the bluish hint and the holiday lights made the season feel more festive for a while.These things are b … | Continue reading
I have these dreams, which are not dreams at all. They are more like pictures and memories of times, long ago, or back when I was old enough to understand but to young to know that I had the right to question the life in front of me.I am sick now, late in some regards, […] | Continue reading
There are memories I have. I swear.I was young once. Wild too, and I was crazy in the best ways possible. I was eager and afraid. And I remember.I remember the ideas and the thoughts and the cravings which came over me like a wave as it falls across the shore. I remember some of … | Continue reading
There comes a time when silence is best.Just be quiet. Be still.Let your eyes close and let your breathing slow down.Relax.And when there’s nothing else, then there’s nothing left to lose.So, sit still. Be calm.Close your eyes and fade. I have no room nor energy left to fight off … | Continue reading
The truth of the matter is that no one knows. No one cares. No one is paying attention and yet, we assume that everyone sees the same thing that we see.Not true.The fact is that everyone has their own life. Everyone has their own motivation, their own agenda, and everyone sees fr … | Continue reading
The meds from last night hit me hard.My grogginess was amazing to me. Literally.I could hardly understand my whereabouts, yet I am where I am because I was where I was.This is for sure. The handcuffs are figurative but tight. Then again, so is the reality of fiction and so are th … | Continue reading
And so, I have to ask . . .What have you seen that made you change the way you see the world?What happened?What changed? Or what snapped?What broke and never went back into place? It has always been hard for me to believe in the terms of God, or God the Father. It has always … … … | Continue reading
When there is nothing left, then there is nothing left to lose. And yet, we find ourselves pondering the losses and mourning the irretrievable. And we weep and we cry and we beg and we plead with the Gods, as if something or anything could eve be changed.Laugh all they want, I kn … | Continue reading
Are you who I think you are?I am . . .And in walks the devil without remorse for the fire. The guards told me to be on the lookout.They said you could appear at any moment.They tell me you feel at home here. Well . . .Here I am.I can see that. And in he […] | Continue reading
Beware the smiles you see, I was told.Not all of them are friendly. Be careful who you listen to, I was told.Everybody has an angle.Everyone has their own truth. Tread carefully . . .The weather gets rough from time to time.I heard the guards whistle this morning. I assume this w … | Continue reading
I come here in the mornings first, of course. I suppose this is the best time for me to come clean. or if nothing else, at least let me start clean. Let me purge now before the impurities of the day take away the purities in my heart. It is hard though. Not the mornings […] | Continue reading