And so we skipped along, like two kids, grown and reliving the ideas of what it means to be young and to feel alive. Nothing in the world is as freeing or as redeeming as this feeling.I write this to you, or my future you to which one day I am hoping that this becomes […] | Continue reading
I think like anyone else does.I’d like to be free. I’d like to get away. I’d like to take a trip or maybe find somewhere that I could rest and not think so much.I’m sure that you understand. I know that you have been through things like this before too. Everyone has.We all go thr … | Continue reading
I have a question for you.How do you let go? How do you detach or how do you disconnect when something inside of you refuses to let go?How? I still dream.Then again, I think you know this. I think about places, like Islamorada or The Keys, which I have never seen or been to. Thes … | Continue reading
We are rounding another corner, you and I. More happens each day and sometimes, too much happens. Am I right?And this always sees to happen, all at once. I agree. I agree that our plate is full. I agree that the tension can be thick, at times, or like now.See? It is quiet now. Th … | Continue reading
It is morning here in Purgatory. They say the rain should hit us by this afternoon, but I don’t know these things.The sunrise was kind and nice enough to make me believe that today would be better spent elsewhere or doing elsewise.I’m sure you understand.I’d rather be doing anyth … | Continue reading
Here it is, a new world now. Or I can say here it again because the word is ne every day.It is morning and the sun was kind enough to shake off yesterday’s clouds. I think that’s a good thing. I think it’s good to shake off the old business that was left behind. I […] | Continue reading
Dear you . . .And you too . . . The morning was interesting to say the least. I am not well in the sense that I can feel something in my body. And I don’t know if this is a change on the way. I don’t know if the change is good or bad […] | Continue reading
And so this one starts here. And Like I’ve said before, where else does anything start?Everything starts from the beginning.Or like any other journal or any other page, this one marks the first page of a new start with hopes to open a new pathway to a new life. A new life.What a … | Continue reading
It has to go. All the need for validation. All the hope that someone will come along and read or reassure you.Art has to be artI have to be me.You have to be you The world is not going to change or acquiesce or consider us or pardon our moments of weakness and nor will […] | Continue reading
I go through this every year. The season is up and coming and soon the pictures on social media will flood with proud parents sharing their photographs from their child’s graduation.I am not one to rain on this parade and nor am I someone who does not appreciate this accomplishme … | Continue reading
Up early this morning. But then again, why would this day be any different from the next or any other?I am always up early.But today was different.The rain was misty and damp to say the least.Spring has sprung.I know.But yet, somehow, the winter is afraid to lose its grip and emb … | Continue reading
At the moment, I am no place and yet I am everywhere else but here. Safe to say that I understand what it means to not be present. And I say this to you, knowing both full and well that I am right here. Always.I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Or at […] | Continue reading
I see you now. You are a grown man.Strong and tall.I see you now and I wish I was there to see you then. I wish I was there when you tossed your first pitch or played your first game.Come to think of it, I wish I was there when you wore that surprised look […] | Continue reading
This was inspired by you Last afternoon—I watched a scene I have not seen in way too long. It was beautiful though. Innocent too.I saw little kids playing on the playground outside of an elementary school. I thought to myself about this. I thought about the bliss of youth and the … | Continue reading
I have always wondered what it would be like to be strong. But what does it mean to be strong?What does it mean to have strength?Or to be capable? Is this no different from exposing your weaknesses?Is it the same as acknowledging them and continuing just the same?I think about th … | Continue reading
I don’t know how I addressed my first poem.Then again, I knew who the poem was for.I always knew who I wrote this too, even thought I never met her.(meaning you)And if I met her, I never believed that I could keep her(meaning you) I’m not sure if I thought that anything I said wo … | Continue reading
The next thing I knew, it was summertime. The warmth began to change the way we spent our time outdoors. The days were longer and the nights were hotter. And I?I was a young man, lovelessly hopeful and silently admiring those who had someone to go home to.Spring had gone by so fa … | Continue reading
Sure.Of course, I know what anxiety is.Who doesn’t?Anxiety and I go back like an old man’s reclining chair.Know what I mean? We go back a long time, and yet, most of most absolute fears that spawned from my anxiety did not come true. That is of course, unless I allowed myself to … | Continue reading
I saw you in a dream of mine. This was real and not long ago. Yet, this was only a dream so then again, I suppose none of this was real, —unless it was. Or maybe this is that thing we call memory that bubbles to the surface. Or wait, maybe this goes deeper to […] | Continue reading
Dare I say this and go forward, or if I say anything like this at all, then let me say this with all I have.Let me be clear and admit to the fear that you will turn away and laugh or reject me. Or let me say this anyway.Let me get this off my chest, […] | Continue reading
I have tried to keep up. I have.I’ve run and I’ve run and I’ve run to the point where I’ve run into myself at the door. And what does this do for me?I have burned the candle at both ends. I ducked and stayed low to dodge the enemies and I hid. I have surrendered […] | Continue reading
And the world just turns around.Nothing stops. Not for a second.Time is always moving, which makes me sound like a broken record because I always talk about the immovable presence of time. The clock never stops ticking. Or think if anything, I think about it like this:A second is … | Continue reading
It makes sense to me how someone can lose their mind and yet, you hear things about cruel and unusual punishment and how this is not allowed. Perhaps not, but still, cruel and unusual punishment exists.Yes it does, and rest assured, cruel and unusual punishment is alive and well. … | Continue reading
It is April, the day after Easter Sunday. The sky was beautiful as ever this morning but the winds were cool and the winter refuses to leave without leaving a few chills behind.I noticed the sunrise is taking the stage earlier now. I love that.I noticed the return of the red-brea … | Continue reading
I think it was a long time ago. Yes, it must have been. I think this was back when the age of innocence was still innocent. But somehow, I know that purity exists. I know there are good people out there.I know because I have seen them arrive at times when I was alone or […] | Continue reading
I cannot say that I know what I believe or that I “definitively know” that yes, there is a God or that my God is right and yours is wrong.I don’t know these things.I don’t know if your God is stronger or mightier or that somehow, we’ve all been fed a narrative that draws us […] | Continue reading
I wonder though. What does it mean to go crazy? And when I say crazy, I don’t mean to go crazy in a bad regard or in the sense that this becomes clinical or sadly dangerous.Not at all. When I say crazy, I mean this in the best way possible. I say this because if […] | Continue reading
There is no place like homeI agree . . .HomeI love that world.I love the feeling of it.I love the idea that has been famously said, “be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.”And once more, I agree. I can say that I have lived in different places. I have lived in differen … | Continue reading
You hear people ask all the time. “How does someone let themselves get like that?”I’ve ask this too. I’ve asked myself and maybe you’ve even asked yourself, “how did I get here?”How did this happen? Maybe the answer is far simpler than we think.I think back about the remnants of … | Continue reading
Do you know what I miss?I miss the vibes. I miss the energy. I miss the late nights and the gas tank, which was my ability to go all night long and somehow, I could still make it to work the next day. I miss my younger years in the city.I miss the feeling that […] | Continue reading
And so, in the case to find myself or to retrace the missing pieces of my life, I had to search through different dreams to see exactly where it was that I lost my place.“I lost my place.”Yes. That’s a great way to put it!” I identify with these words. And I have identified with … | Continue reading
What do we know? And by the way, I think this is a fair question to ask.What do we really know?Let’s see . . . What do we know about anyone, aside from what they’ve told us or what we’ve seen or what we’ve been shown? And even still, even if we see something or […] | Continue reading
I agree when you tell me the world is a mixed back of tricks. Of course, it is. Look around.Do you see? There was a man selling tickets to the resurrection on Vesey Street and Church the other day. I told him I had to work that day, but maybe I’ll catch my salvation on […] | Continue reading
I have always had this thing for sunrise. Always . . .I suppose I’ve had this since, —I don’t know, I guess for as long as I can remember. Maybe this is because sleep and I never seem to connect very well. Maybe insomnia and I were too close and the ability to sleep was […] | Continue reading
The sense of smell has got to be one of the most interesting senses of all. For example, the smell of honeysuckles reminds me of a time when I was in grade school. Or the smell from low tide at the beach reminds me of a fishing trip I took out to a place called […] | Continue reading
The strangest part is I am not sure I would recognize him. That is, if I ever saw him again. At the same time, we pass each other every day.We see each other all the time.All day. I can’t say that I know what he was thinking, even though I know exactly what he was […] | Continue reading
What does it mean to be wild anyway?Is it wild to say that there was a time when I was fine to defy the world against me?Was it wild of me to feel the music in some late-night place in the middle of New York City.Or was it wild to feel rage or have an […] | Continue reading
And this is life. Or so I am told.I have not seen any other proof to show that this is anything other than life.Or, maybe this is just me. Maybe this is my life and therefore, I am nothing more than small glimpse of something far bigger and brighter than my perspective. I cannot … | Continue reading
And all at once, everything changed. My eyes opened to the truth.And yes, it was that simple.Just like that.All that was before was gone away and all at once, I saw myself differently.I was free.And now, here I am. I saw this as if something magical happened. and yes, I call this … | Continue reading
And there was nothing like it . . .And there will never be anything like this again. Of course, I should add more to this preface. I should obviously state the facts and give background so that you know where I’m coming from.And this? This is where I came from.This is what it mea … | Continue reading
Breathe . . .inhale through your nose and breath out through your mouth. Are you ready?Good. Then let’s go I know how it feels and for the record, I know about the stress that comes along, not to mention the basic fears or the concerns that come or make us question if any of this … | Continue reading
And sure. Safe to say that when you didn’t know, you just didn’t know. And that’s fine.No, really. It’s fine to learn.It’s fine to fall down once in a while or to land on your ass or on your face. I say this is good for the soul to know that above anything else, we […] | Continue reading
It is amazing to me.It is amazing when I think about the possibilities of who we are or how we identify.It amazes me how limited we can be or how stuck we are when confronted with our own truths.And truly, I have to say the freest I have ever felt was the freedom i found […] | Continue reading
And everyone says the same thing.Don’t do it.Everyone warns the next one. But no one thinks that “this” will happen to them.I know I thought that I could beat the odds.But of course, I was wrong. No one expects the falls or the breaks or the pain from the bad things. And sure, we … | Continue reading
There is hope. I know there is.I know that I am not where I want to be. At least, not yet. But I am closer than I was yesterday.I know that going forward, at least I can say that yes, I am going forward.At least, I am moving.I am working.And no one can take that […] | Continue reading
I sat in a church yesterday.I was reminded of a day that happened years ago. Or in fairness, this was decades ago and somehow, I must have blinked or turned around or missed something.Decades flew by.Age crept in and I’m not sure how this came to pass.I understand this intellectu … | Continue reading
Maybe I’ll never be “okay.”If there is such a thing.Maybe I’ll always want more.Or maybe . . . Maybe I’ll always look around and see what other people have and to me, there will never be enough.Maybe there is something to be said about living in a frequent state of envy.Maybe thi … | Continue reading
The thing is . . .I don’t know.And the real things I will never know. I don’t know if my life would be easier or I would be happier if I were someone else.I used to wonder who I would be if I grew up in a different house or what my family would be […] | Continue reading