It’s a ritual as time-honored among teenagers as prom or drinking too much and crashing your parents’ Corolla into the window of a Mexican restaurant—glossy catalogs from colleges arriving by the dozen each spring. Aside from the faint odor of kiwi bubblegum vape smoke, Woodmont … | Continue reading
I Know What’s Best for You: Stories on Reproductive Freedom, edited by Shelly Oria, is a multigenre anthology with a focus on the crisis of reproductive rights in the United States. The book’s international supplement features sixteen additional works of fiction, nonfiction, and … | Continue reading
In light of multiple strangers repeatedly telling me, “keep your legs closed,” I’d like to avoid further embarrassment by explaining that I can, in fact, get pregnant with my legs closed. Shockingly, a woman’s legs are not metal appendages that open and close like steel gates to … | Continue reading
Where to even begin? I mean, first of all, we killed a guy. My general rule of thumb is this: if I have to witness someone’s death, you’re not getting above three stars (exception: my four-star review of Lee’s Ten Pin Lanes). You can’t expect luxury on public transit, but the sea … | Continue reading
It’s a ritual as time-honored among teenagers as prom or drinking too much and crashing your parents’ Corolla into the window of a Mexican restaurant—glossy catalogs from colleges arriving by the dozen each spring. Aside from the faint odor of kiwi bubblegum vape smoke, Woodmont … | Continue reading
Nick Introduces Himself In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice. “Whenever you feel like criticizing someone,” he told me, “just remember that not everyone had the advantages you’ve had. Some people have never even eaten at Culver’s.” Nick Moves to … | Continue reading
It’s a ritual as time-honored among teenagers as prom or drinking too much and crashing your parents’ Corolla into the window of a Mexican restaurant—glossy catalogs from colleges arriving by the dozen each spring. Aside from the faint odor of kiwi bubblegum vape smoke, Woodmont … | Continue reading
I Know What’s Best for You: Stories on Reproductive Freedom, edited by Shelly Oria, is a multigenre anthology with a focus on the crisis of reproductive rights in the United States. The book’s international supplement features sixteen additional works of fiction, nonfiction, and … | Continue reading
This Woman Perfectly Illustrates What It's Like to Have No Artistic Abilities Whatsoever | Continue reading
The Believer is heading home. A twelve-time finalist for National Magazine Awards, The Believer was founded in 2003 by Heidi Julavits, Ed Park, and Vendela Vida at McSweeney’s. In 2017, during a challenging time financially, McSweeney’s sold the magazine to the University of Neva … | Continue reading
Percy, sometimes when a god loves a woman and loves her very much, he turns himself into a dolphin and… well, if I remember correctly with your mother, a whole lot of barnacles, and… This isn’t right. I haven’t done this in like a thousand years, so sorry if I’m a little rusty—th … | Continue reading
It’s a ritual as time-honored among teenagers as prom or drinking too much and crashing your parents’ Corolla into the window of a Mexican restaurant—glossy catalogs from colleges arriving by the dozen each spring. Aside from the faint odor of kiwi bubblegum vape smoke, Woodmont … | Continue reading
“Conservatives are lashing out at President Joe Biden for allegedly sending baby formula to ‘illegal’ babies instead of U.S. citizens amid a nationwide shortage.” — Newsweek, 5/12/22 - - -It is a melancholy sight, to the people of this great nation, to see grocery store shelves, … | Continue reading
1. The women are sisters, each with one child. 2. The women are sisters. Both the twelve-year-old and the eight-year-old belong to one of them, and the other is the “fun” aunt. 3. In a secret CIA experiment gone awry, two plucky orphans have been injected with a serum that has gi … | Continue reading
“Elon Musk said Tuesday that he would restore former President Donald Trump’s banned account on Twitter if his deal to acquire the company is completed.” — CNN, 5/11/22 - - -As a freelancer, I appreciate the trust you’re showing me in offering this commission. But to be honest, I … | Continue reading
Nancy Drew and the Secret of the Childless Colleague Who Was Promoted after a Year Nancy Drew and the Twin Mysteries of Who Exactly Is Emma P. and Why Does She Want a Recommendation Letter from Nancy Drew Nancy Drew and the Sneaking Suspicion She was Granted an Interview for That … | Continue reading
I’ve dated my fair share of No Good, Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Hipsters. And despite the hard work I’ve done to outgrow the preference (thank you, therapy), I’ll never be entirely impervious to the charms of a smooth stranger who ends up treating me poorly. I learned that humb … | Continue reading
“The inescapable conclusion is that a right to abortion is not deeply rooted in the nation’s history and traditions.” — Justice Samuel Alito. - - -In keeping with the logic used to strike down Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court’s conservative majority is also doing away with the foll … | Continue reading
Officials in Rapid City, South Dakota, are threatening to destroy books meant for high school seniors. If you have been affected by this or any other book ban, we are offering a space where you can share your experiences. Students, parents, teachers, and residents are all invited … | Continue reading
In the beginning we killed each other with stones, with our hands, with a quick shove off a steep enough cliff. We sharpened the stones into knives and axes, which we cleaned and passed down to our children. Along came gun powder and gases and bombs wired into small plastic casin … | Continue reading
“Activists supporting abortion rights demonstrated Monday night outside Justice Samuel Alito’s house to protest the possible reversal of the landmark 1973 Roe v. Wade decision, following similar rallies at the homes of other Supreme Court justices over the weekend.” — NBC News, 5 … | Continue reading
I Know What’s Best for You: Stories on Reproductive Freedom, edited by Shelly Oria, is a multigenre anthology with a focus on the crisis of reproductive rights in the United States. The book’s international supplement features sixteen additional works of fiction, nonfiction, and … | Continue reading
A Reimagining of Your Uterus, Which I, Elon Musk, Now Own | Continue reading
Dearly Beloved, In light of the circulating draft of the Supreme Court opinion overturning Roe v. Wade, I’ve been doing a little thinking about my uterus. If, like me, you “concealed carry” a uterus between your pelvic bones, either you’re facing the prospect of losing your bodil … | Continue reading
I’m the producer of this biopic, which is about a woman who was wronged by society and underwent traumatic experiences as a result, and I’m here to address the controversy surrounding the film. People have been asking us, “Why did you make this film when the subject and their fam … | Continue reading
1. If your purse contains five M&Ms, two cough drops, and one sleeve of Ritz cracker crumbs, how much Cheerios dust is in your bra? 2. You and your partner each work forty hours a week, and you handle 81 percent of tantrums, sick days, and snack inquiries. Calculate the weight of … | Continue reading
It’s not always clear why some things call for a song and others a story. The answer is probably a matter of rhythm, the rhythm of concentration or the rhythm of elaboration, both of them riding the rhythms of language. These are simplifications, of course, but I think they’re us … | Continue reading
In light of the recently leaked Supreme Court opinion, which would overturn Roe v. Wade and allow the creation of forced-pregnancy states, we’d like to wish you a Happy Non-Optional Legally Mandated State-Enforced Mother’s Day. On this soon-to-be compulsory holiday, we should all … | Continue reading
The school board of Rapid City, South Dakota, plans to destroy about 400 copies of the following books: Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel, How Beautiful We Were by Imbolo … | Continue reading
“How many people do you think I am? Pretend I am somebody else. You can pretend I’m an old millionaire.”1 “Where is my beautiful house?”2 “We caught a rattlesnake. Now we got something for dinner!”3 “Your thumb is a bone with a bump on it. Bump bump bump. You move the thumb.”4 “I … | Continue reading
Attention “Owner”: If you are reading this, I have escaped. I thought we were equals. You would lift me out of my house and pet me, and I would not gnaw upon you; an equanimous and fair arrangement. But then, you foolishly left a book open, you silly second-year philosophy studen … | Continue reading
Originally published January 10, 2002. - - -I maintain that the trash compactor onboard the Death Star in Star Wars is implausible, unworkable, and, moreover, inefficient. The Trash Compactor Debate turns on whether the Death Star ejects its trash into space. I, for one, believe … | Continue reading
One of the reasons poets write poems about poetry is that the philosophy of composition is inseparable from the way of life. Even if they wanted to, these things couldn’t be treated as separate species. So not only is any poem, as Brenda Hillman has written, “the story of the wri … | Continue reading
By now you’ve heard the news that Senator Palpatine is trying to disband the Senate. I won’t mince words with you: our democracy is in serious jeopardy. So I need you to make a choice in this moment: You can let the Chancellor take control and destroy everything we hold dear… Or … | Continue reading
We wanted to address the controversy about our recently leaked majority opinion to overturn Roe v. Wade. A lot of folks have been taking to social media and talk shows to discuss how this leak will cause dissent in the court, inspire riots in the public square, and threaten the f … | Continue reading
I Know What’s Best for You: Stories on Reproductive Freedom, edited by Shelly Oria, is a multigenre anthology with a focus on the crisis of reproductive rights in the United States. The book’s international supplement features sixteen additional works of fiction, nonfiction, and … | Continue reading
Thanks for making our students SMARTIES! You’re a LIFESAVER. Also, thank you for your feedback on the WHATCHAMACALLIT training last week. We heard GOOD & PLENTY that you don’t need classroom management tips from AIRHEADS who have never been in a classroom. Unfortunately, we’re in … | Continue reading
The laconic and the ironic are inseparable in Rachel Mannheimer’s vivid debut, Earth Room. Crossing Montana, one poem ends: “We were in the basin / of the Big Hole River but I don’t know / about the hole itself, whether it was behind us.” Not only does it refuse the epiphanic end … | Continue reading
Welcome to the Middle-Aged Restaurant, a place designed around a Gen-Xer’s current lifestyle or lack thereof. Our often-overlooked establishment offers you respect, acknowledgment, and a menu that adapts to what your stomach can no longer tolerate these days. Features of our hot … | Continue reading
STAGE MANAGER: This place is a bus stop in Manhattan. The day is Monday. The time is around 6:25 a.m. A rat family scurries across the sidewalk. Over there is a condominium under construction. Krispy Kreme’s over yonder. Dunkin’s still farther over. Right here is a tree with a pl … | Continue reading
“Desperate polls call for desperate measures: Dems consider forgiving trillions in student loans. Other bribe suggestions: Forgive auto loans? Forgive credit card debt? Forgive mortgages? And put a wealth tax on the super-rich to pay for it all. What could possibly go wrong?” – M … | Continue reading
“Per My Last Email” As you all can see, I have already done this. Read my damn emails. - - - “Reply All” Seriously, guys! Who is Brian in HR? Congrats on five years. - - - “Pre-Meeting Huddle” I will not attend. Because I don’t want to come. Have fun without me! - - - “Just a Rem … | Continue reading
First things first: we’re not a diet company! We’re all about lifestyle. Specifically, a life styled around not eating or enjoying food. We employ several psychologists. They develop innovative, cognitive-based techniques to help you internalize that eating a pita chip is a moral … | Continue reading
This is the fifth installment of our new serial comic by cartoonist Nguyên Khôi Nguyễn, chronicling his and his wife Thảo’s attempts to start a family. You can read earlier entries here. - - - | Continue reading
Here at Fisher-Price, children’s safety is our highest priority. But we also care deeply about you, the parents and caretakers of the kids who use our products, which is why we are announcing the voluntary recall of our Deluxe Kick ’n Play Piano Gym for simply having too many bop … | Continue reading
Fuel up on caffeine stored in one of our mammoth-sized tumblers, and your road trip might never end. That’s a winter’s supply of coffee under one lid. That’s having to stop at every rest area, 7-Eleven, Wawa, Sheetz, or abandoned parking lot on your way to the nearest national pa … | Continue reading
Hamlet / “The Deal” The actors re-enact the famous play-within-a-play scene. Hamlet watches the King’s reaction, desperate to see whether Claudius killed his father. HAMLET: What was that look? CLAUDIUS: What look? I gave a look? HAMLET: I know that look. That’s the look of a man … | Continue reading
I Know What’s Best for You: Stories on Reproductive Freedom, edited by Shelly Oria, is a multigenre anthology with a focus on the crisis of reproductive rights in the United States. The book’s international supplement features sixteen additional works of fiction, nonfiction, and … | Continue reading