What does it mean for poetry to feel like—to be experienced as—intimate talk, as if you’re hearing from an old and trusted friend? I mean the kind ... | Continue reading
Racial anxiety comes in several flavors. There’s light (hand-wringing over pop-rap), medium (hand-wringing over “critical race theory”), and heavy ... | Continue reading
“School boards are pulling books from classrooms. Parents are being asked to inform on teachers who teach ‘objectionable’ material. Streaming servi... | Continue reading
RICHARD BURBAGE (lead actor and shareholder in the Lord Chamberlain’s Me): Well, the thing you have to remember is that 1599 was like the worst yea... | Continue reading
It is very seldom that mere ordinary people like John and myself secure ancestral halls for quarantine, which is how we now find our family on our ... | Continue reading
Lotion is now a verb. Therefore pre-lotion, re-lotion, lotioned, and lotioning are available for use in conversation and Scrabble. You can now refe... | Continue reading
“Fox’s Jesse Watters and guest say Minnie Mouse wearing a pantsuit instead of a skirt is an attempt to ‘destroy fabrics of our society.’” — Media ... | Continue reading
Dear members of the House of Hype,Greetings. My name is Ralph Waldo Emerson. I am a famous philosopher of the mid-nineteenth century. I write toda... | Continue reading
Cold water in the face is too mild a description for the effect of Grzegorz Kwiatkowski’s poems. What they present is simultaneously so human and s... | Continue reading
Breaking news tonight out of [ANY OF OUR NATION’S COURTS, JUSTICE DEPARTMENTS, OR SENATE SUBCOMMITTEES], I’m [MSNBC HOST WHO MAKES YOUR AUNT SCREAM... | Continue reading
Like most gaming journalists, I couldn’t wait to review Your Thirties, the hotly anticipated release from Life Studios ($59.99 on Xbox, Playstation... | Continue reading
Dear Parents,We are pleased to inform you that we have developed effective, easy-to-follow emergency preparedness guidelines to keep your children... | Continue reading
“Retail crime has been rising throughout the US for the past five years… top law-enforcement officials place some of the blame for the crime surge ... | Continue reading
For Richard was still “working” from home. And Lucy had resigned months ago—so queer, Clarissa thought; it seemed no one wanted to serve bourgeois ... | Continue reading
“We need to get back to normal,” I say, while I continue to live my life normally, having barely changed my behavior and lifestyle—or faced any of ... | Continue reading
9. Third monthThis is an easy call, because the morning sickness is full steam ahead, all day, every day, with every breath you take. The kitchen’... | Continue reading
Selden paused in surprise. In the afternoon rush of the Grand Central Station his eyes had been refreshed by the sight of Miss Lily Bart.Lily Bart... | Continue reading
With apologies to Raymond Carver.- - -My son Liam was talking. Liam is five years old, and that always gives him the right. The two of us were sit... | Continue reading
Everyone’s still so scared of COVID. But come on, people. It’s going to be endemic soon enough. And that has to mean, uh, something.Endemic means ... | Continue reading
Dear College Faculty,Effective immediately, there will be a moratorium on resignations. Thanks to COVID, the governor has generously formalized hi... | Continue reading
Hi, it’s me, the mom of an under-five-year-old overtired, under-stimulated, homeschooled, unvaccinated monster child currently using his chubby lit... | Continue reading
“If you look at the statistics, African American voters are voting in just as high a percentage as Americans.” — Sen. Mitch McConnell, 1/19/22- -... | Continue reading
It’s been over ten years since Stars Hollow’s favorite daughter graduated from Yale and left town to pursue a career in journalism, and five years ... | Continue reading
I was on vacation with the wife and kids. A week away from the office, not checking my messages, spending all day by the pool. Real nice time. Last... | Continue reading
1. If you want onions on your steak, you must say “whiz wit.” But to play it safe, don’t pronounce any “h” in any word while ordering. For example,... | Continue reading
Dear Tevye,This letter is to inform you that you are in gross violation of the rules of this Homeowners’ Association (HOA). Please note the follow... | Continue reading
1. Are you a teacher?☐ Yes✅ You are cleared to enter the building.☐ Wait, what? Aren’t you going to ask whether I’ve tested positive for COVID-1... | Continue reading
A group of toddlers is called a chaos.A group of kindergartners is a “Why can’t I be the line leader?”A collection of salt is called a lot. A col... | Continue reading
“Personally, I don’t need an immediate license to party like it’s February 2020, but I want some indication from lawmakers and medical experts tha... | Continue reading
Here at Time, we have made a number of changes over the last couple years. Now that 2022 is here, we’re announcing several major updates.A Minute... | Continue reading
The War on DrugsYou make your own paella and take super long naps on Saturday. Like over two hours, consistently. You prefer the smallest possible... | Continue reading
Yo, bros! Think you’ve got what it takes to be one of our Omicronies? Find out why our brand-new, hotly talked about squad is on everyone’s minds (... | Continue reading
So I just wanted to take a minute to touch base with everyone regarding the recent announcement by Human Resources that I would be featured in thei... | Continue reading
Thank you for calling East Hill Elementary’s absentee reporting and contact tracing hotline. Please listen carefully, because our menu options have... | Continue reading
Inspired by the surge in COVID-19 cases across the United States, we at Pantone are disappointed to introduce our 2022 color of the year: Horrible ... | Continue reading
Ho there! I am a humble laborer at Cooper & Watson Ironworks, and though my life is filled with sweat and toil, I await the day this factory wi... | Continue reading
“Private insurers will soon have to cover the cost of eight at-home coronavirus tests per member per month, the Biden administration said Monday. ... | Continue reading
Americans are locked in a heated debate: Should we close public schools due to this new wave of deadly scorpions? And while some might beg to diffe... | Continue reading
“If you’ve spent much time on Twitter in recent weeks, you’ve doubtless seen the grids of green, yellow, and gray squares that have swept across t... | Continue reading
Dear Teachers,As we continue to grapple with unavoidable disruptions caused by the pandemic, it’s important that we remain prepared and flexible f... | Continue reading
In light of the recent Omicron wave and the skyrocketing pediatric hospital admissions, we’ve compiled a list of questions from concerned parents. ... | Continue reading
If you’re anything like me, this past couple of years has given you a lot of jobs you never asked for: I became a therapist to my burned-out cowork... | Continue reading
Use this guide to understand why your opinion about mid-pandemic schooling policy is wrong. If you believe kids should attend school in-person, rea... | Continue reading
Hello! Welcome to the Lyon Street Coffeehouse and Drip-Bar. We’re serving a special coconut-infused matcha latte today. It’s not for me, but you lo... | Continue reading
“My low-skilled workers, my cooks, my dishwashers, my messengers, my shoe-shine people, those who work at Dunkin’ Donuts — They don’t have the aca... | Continue reading
Hey everyone! I hope this link is okay to post. If not, mods, please accept my sincere apologies. I’ll take it down so fast. My hand is vibrating o... | Continue reading
Dear Parents,Hope you had a wonderful, relaxing break with family and friends. We’re delighted to welcome you back to school as we celebrate a ret... | Continue reading
Birds. Most people just know them as those loud things that are always flapping around the sky like jackasses, but there’s actually much more to th... | Continue reading