Oh this? It’s just a beach read. I honestly don’t know how it got into my tote bag. I certainly would never have meant to pack a book like this. I’... | Continue reading
In Search of Lost Time is universally hailed as one of the most influential literary works of the twentieth century, having revolutionized the mode... | Continue reading
“The University of Alabama system reports between August 28 and September 3, 846 UA students tested positive for the virus in Tuscaloosa… Universi... | Continue reading
Trills and caws fill the room. Rain is falling, bouncing off the birds and making the squirrels dance underneath. A yellow-bellied sapsucker (a ter... | Continue reading
The assembled dignitaries took their seats before a small lean man with an upward curled moustache.“Messieurs et Mesdames,” began Hercule Poirot. ... | Continue reading
1. Hip toss into a giant vat of butterscotch pudding. Destroyed.2. Rising punch you off of your skateboard. Miraculously you land back on it then ... | Continue reading
You guys, I moved to this plane of existence 43 years ago. 43 years! That’s a long time! When I came here in the ‘70s, this world was a totally dif... | Continue reading
With Apologies to Allen Ginsberg.- - -II saw the dullest minds of my generation destroyed by hashtags, stupid gullible red-capped,scrolling mind... | Continue reading
STATUES – Significant. Rock-hard. Monumentally destroyed if racist.ZOOM MEETINGS – Pants-less. With a good background. Generally on mute.TOILET P... | Continue reading
After I posted photos from Jared and my beautiful wedding weekend on Instagram, many of you expressed concern. You saw photos of 300 guests gatheri... | Continue reading
A FAIRY bursts through the bedroom window of sleeping girl.FAIRY: Happy 18th Birthday!GIRL shoots up in bed and turns on a lamp.GIRL: Who the h... | Continue reading
AT LINCOLN MIDDLE, WE’RE SELF-ESTEEM SUPER SPREADERS!- - -SOMEONE CALL THE CDC, WE HAVE AN EPIDEMIC OF POTENTIAL ON OUR HANDS!- - -LET’S MAKE... | Continue reading
SAN FRANCISCO, CA (September 11, 2020) — McSweeney’s is proud to announce a new series of elegantly-designed and powerfully-voiced books. Of the Di... | Continue reading
Every year, we wonder what might be appropriate on this day, and we can never think of anything more appropriate than this piece, which Mr. Hodgman... | Continue reading
“[Journalist] Bob Woodward is facing widespread criticism for only now revealing President Donald Trump’s early concerns about the severity of the ... | Continue reading
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Our good friend, poet Ilya Kaminsky, knows contemporary poetry like no one else. We’re proud to be publishing his mini-reviews and one-question int... | Continue reading
Hey there, esteemed colleagues. I want to apologize that during our Zoom meeting when I was crouched out of sight and yelling to my husband in the ... | Continue reading
Our contestant tonight is Mom, a 30-something from Virginia and a veteran of the competition. Mom has been the sole competitor on our show this wee... | Continue reading
1. The coronavirus is a new disease that can kill people.2. Kamala Harris is a U.S. citizen who is eligible to hold office, including the Vice Pre... | Continue reading
Our good friend, poet Ilya Kaminsky, knows contemporary poetry like no one else. We’re proud to be publishing his mini-reviews and one-question int... | Continue reading
With apologies to Gil Scott-Heron- - -You will not be able to plug-in, turn-on, and cop-out, because you can only watch on your phone and will pro... | Continue reading
In recent weeks, President Trump has promised we’d see a coronavirus vaccine by November 1st, a date which many have called “politically motivated,... | Continue reading
1. Write a self-portraiture to remind yourself, after six months of doomscrolling, that you still possess an unmediated, material form.2. After An... | Continue reading
Our good friend, poet Ilya Kaminsky, knows contemporary poetry like no one else. We’re proud to be publishing his mini-reviews and one-question int... | Continue reading
Only polling volunteers may view these instructions. The US Senate commissioned this voting booth design specifically for the 2020 Presidential Ele... | Continue reading
With apologies to David Bowie.- - -Campus Health to Freshman TomCampus Health to Freshman Tom Swab your brain and put your face mask onCampus H... | Continue reading
Introducing SCENTS OF PRE-COVID. Enjoy the nostalgic fragrances of life B.C. (Before COVID) with this new candle collection.- - - | Continue reading
Take a moment to get comfortableAnd take a seat in a tiny chairIn your classroomNow that school is done for the day andYou have the room to you... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote here.- - -Early in President Trump’s term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalo... | Continue reading
Uncle Ken posts on Facebook that his Amazon package was stolen by Antifa. Roll a Persuasion check with disadvantage.- - -You come to a T-shaped in... | Continue reading
A doctor’s visit is a beautiful thing. It’s a union between a person who needs medical care and a professional who can offer that medical care. But... | Continue reading
Dear Students of Rydell High,After much consideration, we have decided to open for the upcoming school year. We have laid out specific guidelines ... | Continue reading
Way back in late February, we started to hear rumors about having to lock ourselves inside for three weeks — a length of time that now seems positi... | Continue reading
“My mother has an expression. Clean as a whistle, sharp as a tack.” – Joe Biden“My father had an expression. He said, ‘The only conflict that is w... | Continue reading
Girls, I have a confession: I’m seeing my ex again. Yep, the model. The FiveThirtyEight elections forecast model — the statistical analysis designe... | Continue reading
Copyright 1982The following is an excerpt from Passable in Pink: The Novelization, originally published in 1982 to coincide with the film of the ... | Continue reading
I’m seeing mandatory mask rules at more stores and restaurants, and as a staunch defender of civil liberties, I’m appalled. The government can’t fo... | Continue reading
“Today, we have many terms for romantic relationships between women: lesbian, bisexual, same-sex and queer, among others. In the late 1800s and ear... | Continue reading
Lakeland, Florida- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing ... | Continue reading
Recently, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced her endorsement of Rep. Joseph Kennedy III in the Massachusetts Senate primary. Her decision ... | Continue reading
Dear Students,As we all deal with the greatest challenge our community has ever faced, this university administration is pleased to announce yet a... | Continue reading
“Police have charged Kyle Rittenhouse, 17, with murder in connection with the shootings that killed that man and another protester after he drove t... | Continue reading
Salida, Colorado- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing b... | Continue reading
My baby has been in quarantine his whole life, and I’m panicked he will be developmentally stunted. There are so many experiences and enriching act... | Continue reading
“Are we really surprised that looting and arson accelerated to murder? How shocked are we that 17-year-olds with rifles decided they had to maintai... | Continue reading
- - -AUTHOR NOTEI have been collecting scrap materials for over 25 years. Gathered from crowded junk drawers, dusty supply closets, and the... | Continue reading
Lexington, Massachusetts- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are ... | Continue reading