Dear East High Students and Families,As you prepare for the upcoming 2020-2021 school year, we’d like to remind you of our East High Student Dress... | Continue reading
A Therapist’s WriterYou’re working on a “novel in dialogue” that will take 45 minutes to read and cost $350.A Mortician’s WriterYour source mate... | Continue reading
Rural Arkansas- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing bew... | Continue reading
Dear Ms. Burges:Thank you for sharing your proposal for Wutherton: An Emily Brontë Musical with us. While we found the idea intriguing, we’re not ... | Continue reading
Today I’m proud to officially announce my very real female running mate. She’s everything you ever wanted in a VP: she’s a woman, she’s smart, she’... | Continue reading
1. Your University requires all students to wear masks while in class, and faculty — not the administration — are expected to enforce this mandate.... | Continue reading
San Francisco, California- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are... | Continue reading
Empty pockets before washing. Do not overload machines. Or underload machines. Load machines the exact right amount. Customers are welcome ... | Continue reading
To the Human Employees of Weyland-Yutani Corp,We like to think of our intergalactic megacorporation as a family business. And, as your grasping co... | Continue reading
We are delighted to inform you of our new policy regarding Teacher Replacements Should The Worst Outcome Occur. Effective immediately, all faculty ... | Continue reading
New Jersey- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing bewilde... | Continue reading
As the CEO of a large hospital, I’ve witnessed the incredible dedication of our doctors, nurses, and other staff on the frontline. These incredible... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote here.- - -Early in President Trump’s term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalo... | Continue reading
Area School District is looking for a Language Arts Teacher/ Cheerleading Coach/ Custodian/ Nurse to help lead our COVID-19 and anti-racism instruc... | Continue reading
Cleveland, Ohio- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing be... | Continue reading
Come one, come all! Grab your family, friends, and hatred of fabric muzzles, and join us this Saturday for the grand opening of FreeMart — America’... | Continue reading
Dear Parent or Guardian,We hope that you’re staying well this summer! Please complete this survey within the next 30 minutes, as we plan to includ... | Continue reading
1. The need for blood is constant2. A new blood story is written every day3. Your blood is the currency of life4. Life begins and ends with bloo... | Continue reading
McMinnville, Oregon- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facin... | Continue reading
The commercial opens on an idyllic lake. Birds are chirping. A breeze is rustling. An older man is fishing. He turns to the camera with a good-natu... | Continue reading
Foofy calliope music. Distant, faint. Atmospheric.Molecules of circus DNA random-walking, Brownian-motion-style, over the hillside across from our... | Continue reading
“In a contentious interview that aired Monday on ‘Axios on HBO,’ journalist Jonathan Swan attempted to press President Trump on his handling of th... | Continue reading
Hey fellas, we need to talk about our new album, The Dark Side of the Moon. It’s coming along pretty well, I think. I really believe we’re making a... | Continue reading
I have a duty to protect my family from the heavy hand of government. Diapers limit my baby’s constitutional right to free expression.Once that ex... | Continue reading
Trussville, Alabama- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facin... | Continue reading
Dear Subjects,Well, that was some plague, wasn’t it? Although people are still dying in droves from The Sickness, I think it’s safe to say the wor... | Continue reading
It has always been my aim in life to live a safe distance from any meaningful measure of wealth and at the same time among the ample and voluble co... | Continue reading
With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing bewildering choices. Al... | Continue reading
Toula Portokalos Aunt Voula’s Travel Agency (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)Toula is exclusively offering “virtual” trips, where she will describe to ... | Continue reading
I’ve been in denial about this for a long time, but I think it’s finally time to admit it: this neighborhood just isn’t as cool as it used to be. I... | Continue reading
Inspired by Jamaica Kincaid- - -This is how you talk to students about alcohol; this is how you talk to students about drugs; this is how you moni... | Continue reading
Inspired by Jamaica Kincaid- - -This is how you talk to students about alcohol; this is how you talk to students about drugs; this is how you moni... | Continue reading
1. You’re not allowed to hang out with your friends.2. There’s no chance that you’ll be able to go to the concerts, festivals, and sporting events... | Continue reading
“Police say they’re investigating a nearly four-minute cellphone video that appears to show a man hurling anti-Asian and anti-mask rhetoric toward... | Continue reading
Resident PhysicianLocation withheld- - -This is part of our series, Flattened By the Curve, which features the voices of doctors, nurses, healthc... | Continue reading
Captain Ahab stands on the quarterdeck, darting his eyes among the crew.AHAB: Lemme have your attention for a moment. Let’s talk about something i... | Continue reading
Dear Parents,Since its inception, Camp Green Lake has operated on one guiding principle: “If you take a bad boy and make him dig a hole every day ... | Continue reading
“The leaders of Operation Warp Speed, the Trump administration’s well-funded project to develop COVID-19 vaccines at record speed, have said they a... | Continue reading
Since I was 15 years old, a sophomore in high school, I have been involved in racial justice work, attending protests, and organizing with my fello... | Continue reading
“The Marlins have now had 17 people test positive in the past five days. On Monday, the total of confirmed cases stood at 11 players and two coache... | Continue reading
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In these unprecedented times, we at the Seaside Beacon-Gazette remain committed to delivering high-quality journalism. Though we understand the con... | Continue reading
1. Why do you want to go to grad school?A. It’s necessary for my professional development. B. I got an email from FAFSA by accident.2. Do you kn... | Continue reading
Critical Care Physician University of Michigan HospitalAnn Arbor, MI- - -This is part of our series, Flattened By the Curve, which features the ... | Continue reading
It took some doing, Batman, but we’ve finally developed a mask we think you can live with. It’s black, of course, and can take stabs and shotgun bl... | Continue reading
“The Trump administration is sending more federal agents to Portland, Ore., as officials consider pushing back harder and farther against the grow... | Continue reading
Try making coffee at home, rather than building a Starbucks wing off the campus library.You don’t need spin class at the high-tech gymnatorium for... | Continue reading