Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was only eight years old when he wrote his first symphony! I’ve never heard it, and I don’t know anyone who has.At 18, Ale... | Continue reading
Beaver of Fine Arts: The Gallery Is Re-Opening, and Why You Shouldn't Miss It | Continue reading
Hey, girl. I see you on the trails at 5 AM, running for that beach body. Let me let you in on a little secret. There are really only two steps to g... | Continue reading
“The American sprinter Sha’Carri Richardson, who was set for a star turn at the Tokyo Olympics this month, could miss the Games after testing posit... | Continue reading
A single pinwheel spinning in a light breeze.- - -Microwave popcorn.- - -Having two positive thoughts in a row.- - -Riding a Ferris wheel, a... | Continue reading
1. You have no chance of winning.2. Despite the odds, you are overly confident about your ability to win.3. The rules are unnecessarily complicat... | Continue reading
I, like so many of you, am filled with disappointment. But just because Bill Cosby was released from prison doesn’t mean the fight is over. We must... | Continue reading
Is Canada socialist? Canada is a constitutional monarchy with a parliamentary system. While it fully embraces a capitalist economic infrastructure... | Continue reading
We are the couple who got married in the gingerbread house from “Hansel and Gretel,” and we would like to say how deeply and unreservedly sorry we ... | Continue reading
Dear Patrons of Brews For All,You’re probably aware of the bad press we received this week. We got a call from a would-be customer the other night... | Continue reading
Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads: Here is a man who would not take it anymore, a man who stood up against the comma splices, the adverbs, the mi... | Continue reading
What’s the largest animal you’ve ever hit with a car?What’s the age you thought you’d be when you’d get married? Now subtract the number of childr... | Continue reading
To our loyal LGBTQ+ customers,Happy Pride! If you’ve been paying attention to our social media, Bryant White & Company has been vocally suppor... | Continue reading
Scientists have discovered new data, which will surprise you but confirms what medical journals have been saying all along: your positive attitude ... | Continue reading
MacbethAct 1, Scene 7MACBETH: If we should fail?LADY MACBETH: We Fail? But screw your courage to the sticking place, and we’ll not fail! I shall... | Continue reading
“It’s no secret that I oppose eliminating the Senate’s 60-vote threshold… If anyone expected me to reverse my position because my party now control... | Continue reading
“Former top aides to President Donald Trump have begun an aggressive push to combat the teaching of critical race theory and capitalize on the issu... | Continue reading
Cancel culture is out of control in the United States. When I was a child, I looked up to George Washington because of his heroic deeds. If George ... | Continue reading
I am “wearing pajamas at 7 PM” years old.- - -I am “how much do you want to cover your greys?” years old.- - -I am “I remember Clippy” years o... | Continue reading
I made a promise long ago that I wouldn’t return to this life. But I can tell by the look in your eyes that you boys are out of options. You need t... | Continue reading
“The possibility that the pandemic began with an escape from the Wuhan Institute of Virology is attracting fresh attention. President Biden has ask... | Continue reading
It’s hard to tell. No lavender sweater. Chucks instead of tasseled loafers. Jet black hair underneath a unisex Vans hoodie. But he definitely has t... | Continue reading
Girl, Dry Your Face.Girl, You Used the Regular Old Body Towel Instead of Your Special Face Towel, the One Made Out of Raw Bamboo Fibers or Somethi... | Continue reading
Dear Co-worker,I couldn’t help but notice your discomfort while standing next to you at the urinal in the office bathroom yesterday. Being a gay m... | Continue reading
I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up. By met, I mean I hacked into my ex’s Peloton account to get a look at this Dean, the chisel... | Continue reading
What shall we do with this wretched mustacheGrowing on my lip like an errant eyelash?Is it not enough that I’m having a hot flashEarly in the mo... | Continue reading
Amazon Prime Day used to mean something. When I was young, my family would joyfully celebrate the legacy of a mega-corporation that runs hundreds o... | Continue reading
Scientific Name: Patria Adultus Middle AmericanusCommon Names: Dad, Pop, Old ManNative to: North Central United States, with heavy concentrations... | Continue reading
On getting bullied when I was five:“We do not fight with our hands; we fight with our words. Let me help you brainstorm. What does your bully hate... | Continue reading
One of the things most alive in contemporary poetry is a sense that even as the ecological ship goes down, we might record the catastrophe, might l... | Continue reading
(1/23) Cordelia here, honest, loyal daughter, or so they say. Father’s Day is tough for me. Why? READ BELOW TILL THE END. #FathersDay(2/23) So, my... | Continue reading
Barenaked Ladies: You like craft beer.Sleater-Kinney: You like craft beer and claim you were into it “before it became such a thing.”Soundgarden:... | Continue reading
Hi, son. Yeah, I know it’s late. What time is it there? No, everything is okay. Nothing’s wrong. Your mom went to bed a while ago, and I just wante... | Continue reading
I still remember the first time I told my then six-year-old son Lev that a clam makes calls with its “shell phone.” The laugh of recognition when h... | Continue reading
A lot of people have been asking me how I put away enough money to buy a house. Well, it’s pretty simple: I saved up for a while, and when that was... | Continue reading
I may not be a woman, but I am a Texas legislator, and therefore I am an expert on how women’s bodies work, especially in matters of pregnancy. So ... | Continue reading
Katie Peterson has written several searing books of lyric poems. She writes lucid lines, lines that pierce with their apparent simplicity. Her last... | Continue reading
I.There never was a Hobbit Hole quite like Bag End in all of Hobbiton a place that oftsaw the comings and goings of many of the Little Folk and Bi... | Continue reading
READ THIS BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES ILLEGALDo you look outside at ruins of liberty and ask, what has become of my country? Gulfstream media says ... | Continue reading
Dear Camp Mosquito,Thank you for accepting my child for your “Tent, Ticks, and Chill: Session I” this summer. The registration form had a 100-char... | Continue reading
Welcome to B.C. Richard and Stone in beautiful downtown Bedrock! You have questions, we have answers! Learn more about us below, as well as the ans... | Continue reading
My name is Dave, I live in a one-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, and for the last eleven months I’ve been tormented by my landlord, a giant raccoon ... | Continue reading
“Remember when woke used to be cool? And now it’s Mom on Facebook. Like, I don’t know what happened.” — Jemele Hill on MSNBC, April 8, 2021.- - -1... | Continue reading
Part of the project of modern poets, picking up where people like William Blake and William Wordsworth left off, has been to reanimate animism. To ... | Continue reading
In the beginning was the Word, and I don’t know what the Word was, but I swear to frigging Dad, it was not “followers.”I was just a youngish Son o... | Continue reading
“The Return of FOMO: Our Uneasy, Great Reopening.” — Cover article of New York Magazine, June 2021.- - -Now is the winter of our discontentMade H... | Continue reading
The house of my dreams gets put on the market. I make an offer, but because the realtor is so thrilled about my decision to move back, she gives me... | Continue reading