God Gave You a Middle Finger So You Could Use It

🇨🇦🖕🇨🇦 | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Artistic Penises Are Getting Bigger

[No cherubs!]I don’t know what to make of this, but I’m sure it’s important. It seems penises are getting bigger in paintings, and this change is accelerating. That is the conclusion of a team of urologists reported recently in the BJU International journal, in their article “Dep … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

You Can’t Drink Funko Pop

[Good work, Goodkind.]Alright, this is a pretty solid quip: Thirty million dollars worth of Funko Pop! figures – those big-headed, vinyl pop-culture dolls – will soon make their way into the hands of a new collector: The garbage collector. The unfortunate story here is that Funko … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Lacking in Swissness

[Meanwhile, Swiss Miss has approximately no Swissness.]As a result of a decision to move some production outside of Switzerland, Toblerone will be forced to change the packaging of their iconic chocolate. Because they will lack the requisite Swissness, the company will longer be … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

New York Magazine Doesn’t Dictate The Rules

[Some of the individual rules are good, but the entire concept is fatally flawed.]In response to New York Magazine’s colossally stupid article which has repeatedly come up in conversation, I’ve created my own new rules for etiquette: 1. Don’t make up a random hodge-podge of “new … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

AMLO Spots an Alux

[The photo is also multiple years old, despite his claim.]Surely this is the most embarrassing thing the leader of a North American nation has done in the last 775 days.Link: https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/mexican-president-claims-he-has-proof-of-mythical-woodland-elf/ar-AA … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

An Embarassing Glimpse Into the Past

[There’s no charge for entry.] Over at my day job, we unveiled something very cool today: The Rogue Amoeba Historic Screenshot Archive. It’s a repository of screenshots of our products dating back to 2002, along with details and stories about many of our biggest updates. Putting … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Something’s Fishy

[Are they swimming in a water cooler?] I don’t know about you, but I find myself receiving a lot of emails about scams I should avoid. Gosh, life in 2023 sure is fun, huh? Recently, one such email from Capital One had me scratching my head. Here’s a look: You can’t see it in tha … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

For Want of $150

[Also, who steals a toddler?]This is certainly not the best press: As Lake County deputies desperately tried to find a stolen Volkswagen with a toddler still inside, they reached out to Car-Net, a service that lets VW owners track their vehicles. But the Car-Net trial period had … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

The Fascinating Life of Noah Song

[I certainly won’t count him out.] Back in 2019, one of the most talented college pitchers in the nation went undrafted until the fourth round of the MLB draft. When the Red Sox eventually selected Noah Song with the 137th pick, they understood the distinct possibility that he wo … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

An Automatic Strike to End a Game

[Just the way the Sox drew it up, I’m sure.]When the MLB season starts at the end of March, it will feature several rule changes. One of the most impactful of those is sure to be the new pitch clock, which requires pitchers to deliver a pitch in a set amount of time, and batters … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

A Remarkable Train Ride

[This is indeed how we want to see our country represented to the world.]Joe Biden’s recent trip to the active war zone of Kyiv was unprecedented in the modern era.Link: https://newrepublic.com/article/170697/biden-kyiv-trip-invasion-history | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Unintended Consequences Strike Again

[0.5% of 330 million is still a lot of people.]Last week, I wrote about my sad discovery that sesame seeds had been removed from Trader Joe’s hamburger buns. Though I’m disappointed by this change, I can at least appreciate it as one that was made in the interest of protecting cu … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Criminals, Don’t Be the Wurst

[“Imagine a huge, gigantic hot dog in the middle of your bay”]Stealing the catalytic converter from the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile is just low, man.Link: https://local12.com/news/offbeat/hot-dog-hell-catalytic-converter-stolen-from-oscar-meyer-weinermobile-state-farm-thefts-metals- … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

A Firmware Update Is Available for Your Power Cable

[Is it really worth making charging cables computers?]Parts of the future are very dumb.Link: https://appleinsider.com/articles/23/02/14/apple-issues-firmware-update-for-magsafe-3-charging-cable | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

This Is Just Pathetic

[Also, algorithmically sorted content feeds are lousy.]Previously, while discussing Elon Musk’s horrendous mismanagement of Twitter, I referred to him as “an overconfident idiot” and “a colossal freaking moron”. Based on this Platformer report, it seems he’s also an incredibly sm … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Ohio’s Real-Life Airborne Toxic Event

[It would be nice if life imitated more pleasant art.]In 2021, some residents of East Palestine, Ohio served as extras in a movie about a train disaster. Two years later, they’re living the reality.Link: https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/11/health/ohio-train-derailment-white-noise/inde … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Bad Buildings Kill

[Zoning (Rest in) Peace]Over 40,000 people in Turkey have died as a result of the recent earthquake. For Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, this is an incredibly bad look.Link: https://www.npr.org/2023/02/13/1156512284/turkey-earthquake-erdogan-building-safety | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

All The Buns Are Blank

[Damn! Remember when these buns had sesame seeds?] On a recent trip to Trader Joe’s, I found myself concerned about my own mental health and well-being. The issue arose when I grabbed some “Classic Hamburger Buns” off the shelf, which I use to handle my burger-related needs, and … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift

[Did the world really need another place to buy trash?] During the Super Bowl on Sunday, an ad for “Temu” played several times.1 In it, a woman buys a flurry of products at what I can only describe as disturbingly low prices. In 2023, a dress should really cost more than $9. But … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Keanumycins

[It’s an incredible honor.]Scientists who discovered a new antimicrobial molecule have named it after Keanu Reeves. “The lipopeptides kill so efficiently that we named them after Keanu Reeves because he, too, is extremely deadly in his roles,” Götze explains with a wink. This is … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

That Is Not a Large Hole

[No disrepect intended, Itoh.] In February 2021, a gibbon by the name of Momo gave birth, despite living alone in her enclosure in a Japanese zoo. Two years later, the mystery of her seemingly miraculous pregnancy has been solved. It seems her enclosure wasn’t quite as isolated a … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

One Timer Ought to Be Enough for Anybody

[Really, why would anyone ever want two timers?] Maybe some day, in the distant future, humanity will harness the advanced technology necessary to run two timers at the same time. I hope I’m alive to see it. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Target Tells Us the Xbox Is Not Hot

[I wonder who’s tasked with updating this list, and how often they do it.] Last year, I made light of the piddling 5% discount Target sends as an annual birthday “gift”, noting the many items to which Target’s coupon would not apply. I also said “I hope I can remember to check on … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

They Actually Didn’t F It Up Enough

[Perhaps they were all out of F’s to give.]After many years and $11 billion in construction costs, New York City’s new Grand Central Station has now opened. There’s at least one problem, however. Under a quote literally written in stone, the name of painter Georgia O’Keeffe is mi … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

One Star, Should Be Free

[Goodness, gracious, bad balls of fire.] As an intelligent and fresh-smelling reader of this site, you’re surely wise enough to know that selling two different products with nearly identical packaging is a terrible business practice. Alas, the executives at the Sazerac Company ar … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

The Immense Stupidity of Groundhog Day

Is there a dumber American tradition than Groundhog Day? I submit to you that there is not. Readers of this site will know that I am a fan of all manner of nonsense, but I just can’t get into this. “Groundhog Day”, the movie? A fun flick. Groundhog Day, the “holiday”? Vacuous non … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Automated Rudeness

I’m a responsible adult who keeps a digital calendar. When I book a table for dinner, I also create an event, complete with reminders. Thanks to this system, I don’t believe I’ve ever missed a reservation in my life. That’s not boasting, it’s just how one should act in society. N … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

How Do You Do, Fellow Kids?

It was funny when “21 Jump Street” sent 20-somethings back to high school. It was even funnier when “30 Rock” parodied that.1 But when a near 30-year-old in New Jersey does it, it’s just odd. Even in a photo from 2017, this woman did not look 14. I am very curious to know why sh … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Chattin’ With Apes

Have you ever wanted to talk to a chimpanzee or a bonobo? You might just be able to. Humans share elements of a common language with other apes, understanding many gestures that wild chimps and bonobos use to communicate. Now if we could just figure out the gesture for “Please d … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Jailbreaking Metal

Do you want terminators? Because this is how you get terminators! In a cheeky video featuring some strong T2 callbacks, a Lego man-shaped mold of the magnetoactive solid-liquid can even be seen liquifying and moving through tiny jail cell bars before reforming into its original … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Continued Improvements in Blood Donor Screening

For as long as I have been donating platelets (a specialized form of donating blood), there have been restrictions on donations by men who have sex with other men. Though these limits were enacted during the AIDS crisis in the ’80s, when I began donating in 2005, any man who’d ev … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

This Might Not Actually Mean Very Much

ChatGPT is an artificially intelligent chatbot that uses massive language models to appear very knowledgeable about many topics. The general public has had access to it for a couple months now, and the results it’s produced are often impressive, or at least amusing. Recently, I s … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

The Lights Remain On

Well, this is just re-goddamned-diculous: The lights at Massachusetts’ Minnechaug Regional High School burn ever bright. They actually never turn off. They can’t turn off. The smart lighting system for the entire building is broken, and it’s stuck in the “on” position. It has app … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

You Can’t Get Away With Defrauding a Dog

I first wrote about George Santos, the ludicrous liar elected to the US House of Representatoives out of New York’s 3rd congressional district, last month. Since then, the list of his falsehoods has continued to grow. Alas, to date, there has been precious little in the way of co … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Monorail!

In the early ’90s, before Conan O’Brien was Conan O’Brien, he was a staff writer for “The Simpsons”. While there, he led the creation of one of the greatest episodes of all time, “Marge vs. the Monorail”. Three decades later, friend-of-the-site Oliver Y. tipped me off to the Ring … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

More Ways to Keep Up With One Foot Tsunami

A Saturday post? It must be time for another round of weekend housekeeping. Find One Foot Tsunami on Microblogging Services Recently, I added some new options for following One Foot Tsunami. You can now find a link to each new OFT post on the following services: Micro.blog Mas … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

A Canine for Wildlife

Though some dogs might appear distressed to be sniffing poo in the name of science, others revel in it. Down in Australia, Max the English springer spaniel is tracking down koalas by the scent of their scat. By all accounts, he loves his job. “It’s very hard to be down in the dum … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Extremely Low Paid Data Collectors

Would you like a free robot vacuum cleaning your house for a few weeks? That sounds pretty good. What if, on top of that, you received $30 to $120? Amazing! Oh, and your naked ass might wind up on the internet? But still, $30!Link: https://www.technologyreview.com/2023/01/10/1066 … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Email Marketers Live Very Different Lives

I work to maintain a manageable email inbox. This includes frequently declining to provide my email address when asked, as well as unsubscribing from lists without hesitation. And yet? And yet, the nonsense never fully stops. Of late, I’ve received a steady stream of emails infor … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

A Hug Expressed in Bronze

In America’s oldest public park, a new monument honoring Martin Luther King Jr. and his wife Coretta has just been unveiled. The 20-foot-high sculpture is entited “The Embrace”, and it can be found just off Tremont Street in Boston Common. The work is modeled on a 1964 photo of … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Zero Bank Robberies Is Too Few Bank Robberies

Denmark may be one of the happiest countries in the world, but do you really want to live in a boring country with no bank robberies whatsoever? Ya gotta have one or two, c’mon.Link: https://edition.cnn.com/2023/01/03/business/denmark-bank-robberies/index.html | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

More on Naloxone

Ideally, links posted here on OFT are fairly timeless. Today’s link, however, has a deadline coming up just next week. After yesterday’s post, reader Sam G. wrote in to say: [T]he FDA currently is taking comments about a proposed rule change to make Naloxone available over-the-co … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Nice Save, Mom

Recently, I posted some gallows humor about fentanyl. The thing about that story is that “enough fentanyl to kill every American” is really just not that large a quantity, because the stuff is so terribly potent. A recent police stop in Florida highlights just how dangerous it is … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

You Win 2022, Gary

Recently, I posted some 2022 running stats: I was pleased with my accomplishments. At over one and a half kilomiles, it’s the farthest I’ve ever run in a year, by several hundred miles. Though my pace was down slightly from the previous year, that was a function of the greater d … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Scruff’s Bottle Patrol

Littering is low and human beings should be less terrible. Over in England, there’s at least one border collie who’s better than that, picking up hundreds of discarded plastic bottles in recent months. Who’s a good boy? Scruff is! Scruff is a good boy!Link: https://www.today.com … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Do You Care About Quality or Quantity of Skips?

Many stone-skipping aficiandos seek out thin and flat stones, to maximize their number of skips. Important new research indicates “potato-shaped” rocks may provide more dramatic results. “If you’ve got a heavier rock, you can get a super-elastic response, where you get a single m … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago

Eating a Fake Tree Might Be Safer

It’s getting to be time to take down the holiday decorations. But hey, rather than throwing it away, have you considered eating your Christmas tree instead? Oh, you haven’t? That may be wise: While animals have long devoured Christmas trees, more people have joined the feast in r … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 1 year ago