Passive aggression comes in many forms, but I prefer the subtle approach for added deniability. The message is still there, of course, but it's not so obvious as to get you immediately disowned. "Here's a big dead tree to represent your general state of witheredness. "Oh, and … | Continue reading
There's a Sweet new wedding cake trend going around, you guys, and it totally rocks. (By Intricate Icings Cake Design) Geode cakes!This is the one that went viral a little while back, and it's easy to see why. Soooo sparkly.Ah, but check this drama out: (By Three Tiers Fo … | Continue reading
Today isn't like any other day, friends, because today is Jen's birthday. Today.So please join me in a hearty, boisterous, thundering rendition of this recently free-to-use song!♫ Haaaaappy Bulhedoy... ♪ TO YOU! APP HIIIIIRTY BDAAAAAYH!!! TOOO YOU!!!Haaappy BIRTHDAAAAAY! … | Continue reading
Minions, there are LOTS of ways to tell Mom you love her for Mother's Day. This isn't one of them.Now, if you wanted to say something like, "There's a hole in my heart Mother can never fill," then this one's got you covered: Or if you want a subtle commentary on the growi … | Continue reading
It's National Etiquette Week, a time of reflection on how we, too, can be more etiquettey.So let's start with our cakes, shall we? I mean, this is a cake blog, you like looking at cakes... it just all kinda works.So:1) Don't talk about poo. 2) Or have edible icing poo. … | Continue reading
Yesterday I offered to buy John some nipple pasties, but before you judge, it wasn't for anything "weird." It was just to cover his nipples. You know, when he goes running. Because they hurt. His nipples, I mean. When he runs. I like talking. In short, choppy sentences. Like thi … | Continue reading
Teachers, this is your week - but what can I say about you unsung heroes that hasn't already been said? I mean, in relation to teaching? Ahahahahhahahaha! Ahah. Ha. Yeeeah.Ahem.Look, teachers, you know how much we need you. Heck, just a quick jaunt around this blog makes it … | Continue reading
Here's a little known fact: Nothing makes Jen as happy as adorable robots.*(*Except our cats. And Disney. And chocolate cake. Okay, so a lot of things make Jen happy.) So this week, I thought we'd look at adorable robot cakes. Because I love my wife. And because she picked the ca … | Continue reading
"Dude, he was JUST HERE." Though strangely, the sound effects are still the same. SO SINISTER. "I find your lack of unicorns... DISTURBING." Maybe farce with unto you be Jen D., Rebecca F., Mihkaila, Ellen H., Peter R., Ralph J., Amber D., Heather P., and Mandi B.*****P. … | Continue reading
Some of you have never checked your local bakery for paranormal activity, minions, and it shows. "You're right; no HUMA … | Continue reading
There is no greater human mystery than our ability to communicate.To take a picture or concept and implant it perfectly into the mind of another - what wonder! … | Continue reading
It's time again for everyone's favorite: WEDDING WRECKS!(Well, everyone but the bride.)(And possibly the baker who may or may not have been assaulted by the aforementioned bride)What the bride wanted: What the bride got: Hey, Jen has a dummy cake in her office this exact sha … | Continue reading
Baby Showers are getting pretty weird these days, but lucky for us, not every mom-to-be relishes the thought of fondant nipples and edible C-sections at her party. In fact - and this may blow your mind if you're a regular CW reader - some folks still have shower cakes that are NO … | Continue reading
Baaaaby, now that I've found you I'll just LET you mold: With Christmas stuff around you And UGLY bows: Barbie, EVEN thoughYou're so creepy So dang creeeeee-pay!! BAAAAY-BAY! Without a sound you scream, "I'll CUT you, bro!" Dead bugs and dirt around you: This is … | Continue reading
If you frequent Pinterest you've probably seen these Sweet campfire cakes going around: These are relatively simple, f … | Continue reading
It's Administrative Professionals' day, minions, a time to A) thank your professional assistants, and B) force local bakers to write ridiculously long, hard-to-spell words on cakes.SO LET'S GET TO IT. Oooh, so close.If they only had spell-check for cakes, am I right?Hang on, wh … | Continue reading
One of my high school teachers told us to always ask why with our writing.Why does this character do what she does? Why is this political issue so divisive? Why are poop jokes so darn funny?Well I may not have answers today, minions, but by golly, I'm going to ask the hard-hittin … | Continue reading
One of my high school teachers told us to always ask why with our writing.Why does this character do what she does?Why is this political issue so divisive?Why are poop jokes so darn funny?Well I may not have answers today, minions, but by golly, I'm going to ask the hard-hitting … | Continue reading
HOW TO BE A PRINCESS Cake Wrecks style 1) First things first: you'll need a wardrobe fit for royalty. Because even a strait jacket can be princessy when paired with the right skirt/circus tent.2) Have your hair and makeup done professionally every day. Don't be like Elsa that … | Continue reading
This week is National Park Week, so I decided to round up 10 Sweet nature cakes that would make Leslie Knope proud. (By Intricate Icings Cake Design) Preeeeettty. Now, I'm a hermit blogger with what my doctor described as a "shocking" vitamin D deficiency, so I think it's safe … | Continue reading
Minions, next month Star Wars will be 46 years old. And I know just how to celebrate: ...by mercilessly mocking Darth Vader cakes. This one, for example, looks like a codfish. Granted, I don't actually know what a codfish looks like, but I imagine it must be kind of silly and … | Continue reading
It's almost TOO simple: a round blob with a string.So how can you wreck the humble icing balloon?Oh, my sweet, naive little baker friends.LET ME COUNT THE WAYS. 1) Embrace The Airbrush: … | Continue reading
Ooh, so close. Less close. … | Continue reading
Ahem hem hem.[begins strumming ukelele][stops strumming ukeleli to go look up how to spell "ukelayle"][resumes strumming ukulele] Here's a little song I wroteYou might want to sing it note for note … | Continue reading
(Warning: Vague naughtiness ahead. Also googly eyes.) Sue M. had her Instagram account disabled for posting this cake: … | Continue reading
In my perpetual quest for the most Sweets-worthy Sweets to show you guys, I often find fabulous, new-to-me techniques, designs and textures - but they don't necessarily fit one of my weekly themes.So today I've rounded up some of my favorites of these, and we'll call the theme... … | Continue reading
I'll be honest, Brandi; I have some issues with this cake you ordered: But with that said, you're right: the one you got is way worse. 0.oDavid Bowie taught me that boys are made of slime and snails and puppy dog tails (and sometimes enormous pant bulges) but apparently there … | Continue reading
Say, just what kind of Mickey Mouse operation do you think they're running here? Hey, laugh all you want; I'm just impressed they spelled it right. It's like music to my eyes. Really.Ok, not really. And if you think e-mailing a picture to the bakery helps...think again. Hey … | Continue reading
Sometimes I lay awake at night, afraid that you readers may STILL think cupcake cakes (patooie!) are not the spawn of Satan. … | Continue reading
This was ordered for a school competition called the Academic Decathlon: Or, as Wreckerators know it, "AcPec."Now, I'd like to say that at least they spelled "capitalize" right, buuuut... they didn't.*sigh* The following is a dramatization. The Wreck, however, is very real. Bak … | Continue reading
It's time again to see why the brides are crying - or, as I like to call it, "Reminders that your day could always be worse."Yep, it's everyone's favorite, "What They Ordered vs What They Got!"Kimberly P. asked her baker for this scrolly beauty, only in red and with icing flowers … | Continue reading
Happy Easter, cake lovers!Don't worry if you didn't get a basket this year; I've got you covered: (By The Clever Little Cupcake Company) With a bonus little lamb! Squee!We've also got a sweet hand-painted bunny: (By Ludmilla Schmalz) And something for you coloring book fans: … | Continue reading
I know we've been seeing some odd Easter treats this week, so today I thought we'd get back to basics.After all, nothing beats a nice, time-honored, classic Easter... … | Continue reading
I'd like to take a moment to thank the people who've made the last 12 years of my life possible:The wreckerators. Dear Wreckorators,Hi. It's me again.Listen, I know you're busy... … | Continue reading
7 Reasons To Avoid The Bakery This Easter: - Those annoyingly cheerful Easter colors: It's like they managed to bottle Spring. - Saint Harry's Tinsel Toupees: "For when your hair hasn't got a prayer!" - REALLY Bad Eggs: Drink up, me hearty, yo ho! (You're gonna need it.)- … | Continue reading
SHHHHH. Listen. Do you hear that? The bunnies... are coming. And they've got a name with your bullets on it. ("Isn't that supposed to be the other way arou...?" "SILENCE!")The bunnies will rip you from your shells! Or smoosh you down INTO them really hard! Which is su … | Continue reading
I don't know why, minions, but it's true: bakers hate the Ninja Turtles.How else can you explain this? Or this? Or THIS? Aw, a lobster reached across his face and tried to flex. SO CUTE. So fierce are the flames of this loathing that some bakers are driven - DRIVEN, I say - … | Continue reading
You guys, Easter is this Sunday!Quick!Let's terrorize some children! "Ohh nooo!"Oh, YES, 'fraidy cat half-chicken! For f … | Continue reading
Looking to add some Wonderland whimsy to your big day? Then here are 10 oh-so-elegant cakes to make you fall (in love) down the rabbit hole: (By Jamie Bakes Cakes) Those vintage Alice illustrations work beautifully with soft pastels.Or how about a topsy-turvy tower of teacups? … | Continue reading
So many wedding wrecks happen when a bride asks for a fondant design made in buttercream - but what happens when it's the opposite, and they ask for a buttercream design made in fondant? LET'S FIND OUT.Here's the buttercream design one bride ordered for her wedding: She had a F … | Continue reading
Amber's twins were having a birthday, and just so we're clear, by "twins" I mean her actual children. Just covering all the bases for you long-term readers. (FLAAAAASHBAAAAACK.)Anyhoo, since Amber is one of those awesome moms who doesn't make her kids share a cake, she ordered tw … | Continue reading
Checking New Submissions: *scroll* *scroll* *scroll* Thanks to Sami S. for my new favorite "naked turkey cake." Look out, Facebook, HERE WE COME.*****P.S. While we're talking bewbs, here's a shout-out to my favorite wire-free bra: … | Continue reading
Sometimes when I tell people that John and I have been married for 17 years now, they exclaim in shock, "What, did you get married when you were twelve?!" And then we laugh and laugh until I wake up and cry a little.The times I'm not dreaming, though, people sometimes ask what ou … | Continue reading
Last week started off pretty rough for me, minions, so when the time came to pick Sweets I went looking for the happiest, silliest cakes I could find. I figured if I needed a smile, maybe you did, too.I found cakes that made me laugh, like this: (By Tomima) DAT FACE.And cakes t … | Continue reading
Those bizarre "ice cream cones" are back, and this time... ...they're crapping sprinkles.Silly bakers, can't you see you're trying too hard? I mean, just balloons would be FINE. I can see how I walked into that one.Rosella's office had cupcakes for a pregnant co-worker, and c … | Continue reading
Those bizarre "ice cream cones" are back, and this time... ...they're crapping sprinkles.Silly bakers, can't you see you're trying too hard? I mean, just balloons would be FINE. I can see how I walked into that one.Rosella's office had cupcakes for a pregnant co-worker, and c … | Continue reading
It's Near-Miss Day, minions, and I know *just* how to celebrate:[singsong] With a UNICOOORN! [head tilt]Is... is that a beak? K, icks-nay on the unicorns.How 'bout a cute butterfly? Er...Elephant cupcakes? Glass of wine? (Please?) Arg. C'mon, bakers, it's not like I'm ask … | Continue reading
Brian J. wanted his baker to make him a Blink 182 cake.Specifically, this Blink 182 cake: Yeah.This is Cake Wrecks.That's probably not gonna happen.Instead, this happened: A picture of a Blink 182 cake... on a cake.But can we take this farther? Yes. YES WE CAN.How about a pic … | Continue reading