Ok, bakers, you have one job. ONE JOB. Ready? Here goes. This plastic piece has football lacing on it, so - still with me? Yes? - so just put it on a cake, like so: ...and voilà! Instant football. Now, go find a brown cake, and put the piece of plastic on it. That's it. That's al … | Continue reading
I'm pretty sure today is one of bakers' least favorite holidays ever, if only because it's so stinking hard to spell: (I admit it: I had to double check that there aren't two Fs in "professional.") (Just to be clear: there aren't.) "Proffional" "Profissional" I like how this bake … | Continue reading
Is your guy a real "man's man?" Does he enjoy grunting, beer-can-crushing, and flexing? THEN DO I HAVE THE CAKES FOR YOU! Remember, pretty colors are for GIRLS. Singed poop and "I love hunting" flotsam is for MEN. HOOAW! And you know what else is manly? DEAD ANIMALS. Make it a bl … | Continue reading
Sometimes cakes can tell their own story. Oooh. Now that's cold. Thanks to Ally H., Jessica P., Wendy R., Megan M., Sierra Z., & Tori B. for the reminder to always be nice to mom. ALWAYS. ***** Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK,Canada. | Continue reading
Friday is Audubon Day, Sweets fans, named for John James Audubon who was reportedly cuckoo for cuckoo birds. Well, all birds, really. So it's only fitting we look at cakes featuring our fine feathered friends. (Alena's Cakes) So pretty! Also today I learned that a budgie and a pa … | Continue reading
Don't worry, bakers; today's decorating challenge is SUPER easy. I'll even walk you through it! Now, are you ready? Annnnd... [starting timer]... go! Ok, just throw the ball towards the basket: And count to three: Now put the candle on this kid's birthday cake: And stack these tw … | Continue reading
Someone on Reddit discovered there's more than one way to interpret "sprinkles on the side." Ha! (One of the few times when the wrecked version actually required more effort.) Dae's local bakery offers number-shaped donuts for birthdays, so she ordered "20 number 6 donuts with pi … | Continue reading
Hi, I'm here to pick up a cake? It's the "Happy Birthday Brittany" one. Ah, no, see, that second "Birthday" should be "Brittany." No no, this has Brittany twice. I need "Happy Birthday" on it. Ok, now you've just combined them into one word. There should be three. You don't mind … | Continue reading
SHOT THROUGH THE HEART [knowing smirk] And you're to blame! Wreckers, you give love A BAD NAME. How did this start? They look all the same! You give love a bad name (bad name!) You give love... A BAD NAME. Thanks to Anony M., Elizabeth, K.J., Jodee, Christy R., Anony M., Shari A. … | Continue reading
Strange times, minions. STRANGE TIMES. You know what else is strange? ::gestures helplessly:: Whatever is happening here. I mean, I see a lot of cake faces, but this? This is one in a melon. HEEEEEEEEEYO ***** Jay asked for a "blue frosted carrot cake," but I guess the baker left … | Continue reading
Usually I like a good continuous theme for Sweets, but this week I decided to change it up by celebrating a bunch of super specific, super obscure April holidays. So hey, Happy Mathematics and Statistics Awareness Month! (Emilee Kirven) Sum cakes have it where it counts. (That's … | Continue reading
In case you ever wondered what Ron Swanson would look like as a balding muppet: "You may have thought you heard me say I would like a lot of cake and ice cream. But what I said was, give me ALL THE CAKE AND ICE CREAM YOU HAVE. "Please and thank you." Shannon ordered a "red cake w … | Continue reading
Ever wonder what you'll really get when you order a princess cake like this? Well, I have good news! You're almost certain to get the same toys. Or maybe you want to spring for the big castle version: You totally should! How else will your baker get any airbrush practice? Mmmm. S … | Continue reading
It's "Take A Wild Guess Day," minions, and I've got a real humdinger of a round lined up for you, mwuahahaaa. Let's start with an easy one: I know, I'm surprised bakers would make something so controversial, too. Not to mention take such obvious political pot-shots with their cup … | Continue reading
You'll never guess what kind of party this cake was for. NEVER. Unless maybe you can read. Eric A. reports that someone is taking a bite INTO crime at his local grocery store: And I shouldn't be finding this quite so funny, should I. (Hey, we've all been there, random drive-by ca … | Continue reading
For today's wrecky giggles, minions... WE HAVE TO GO BACK. "BACK" ...to the Easter. Back when Vicky asked for a chocolate egg with a dog's paw on it. Heavy. Back when Leslie asked for a simple "He Has Risen." “Rizind?” And most importantly, back to the moment before this candy mo … | Continue reading
Remember when you were an angsty teen in some TERRIBLE mood, but then you'd put on your headphones, crank the volume, and get lost in your favorite songs? I remember doing that with my Dad's old CD walkman, and I bet it's how a lot us learned to really love music: to put the whol … | Continue reading
Minions, I like this taco cake, I do. I just can't shake the feeling that "something" is missing: Lettuce just say it's my conundrum, nachos. I love a good mashup, y'know? My favorite geek tees include the Ghostbusters chasing the Pac-Man ghosts and Pinky & the Brain as Doctor Ho … | Continue reading
When you start a new job it's always nice to feel welcomed. This lucky individual - who may or may not be named "Steve" - got a cake: Supposedly that reads "Greetings Coworker," but it looks more like "Exploiker" to me. Regardless, it's nice to see a little Alien Robot lingo bein … | Continue reading
Although the past few days have been fun, I think we're all ready to just let some Wrecks speak for themselves, don't you? Wow. Very eloquent, Beth H. I never knew that "fithy years plus nine" equaled a "Happle Birthday." Or that random capitalization and periods (the punctuating … | Continue reading
"Good season, bakers, good season! A lot of you showed up, some of you made some stuff, a few gave roughly 65%, and I'd say this Easter was our 'best' yet! "Now, let's review how our new designs performed this year. Elmer? I believe you have some numbers for us?" "Yes, thank you, … | Continue reading
How to Literally Be the Worst Wreckerator: 1) Many names have unusual variations these days, so always remember to double check the spelling ahead of time. "And her name is Starr with two 'r's." [writing] "Star...with... two 'R's. Roger. "No, Star." "Lady, I got this." 2) A pictu … | Continue reading
Every Easter I get the Queen song "Somebody To Love" stuck in my head... and now it will be stuck in yours. MWAHAHAAA. Can anybody find meeeee... some bunny to love? (Flavorsome Desserts, IG account removed) Easter morning I get up I dye a little: (SweetAny, Germany) Can barely s … | Continue reading
This spring, terror has a new name: SCREAMING BLOOD-SOAKED LAGOMORPH RECKONING OF DOOOOOM With everything you've come to expect from a low budget, Easter-themed horror movie! Including: Idiotic, overly testosterone-laden frat boys: "There's old blood and creepy hooks hanging ever … | Continue reading
With apologies to Peter, Paul, and Mary. **** Where have all the flowers gone? I'm just asking! Where have all the flowers gone? I'd like to knooow Where have all the flowers gone? Bakers have wrecked them every one! Oh when will we ever learn? Oh when will weeee... ...ever learn … | Continue reading
Easter cakes, this is your week to shine! WOW US! ::awkward pause:: Ok, new plan: Continue avoiding eye contact and hope for the best. Am I seeing things, or are those twist ties sticking out of Groucho's neck? And are these ... mandibles? HOVER BUN. Hang on, I just found my new … | Continue reading
With all of the mutant bunny and chick cakes oozing around, I'd like to take a moment to remind you that there's actually much more to Easter than mutant bunny and chick cakes. There are also wonky cross and historically inaccurate tomb cakes! And consternated brownie blobs! And … | Continue reading
Good morning! [tapping fingers on keyboard] [yawning] [going back to bed] ... 2 hours later ... I'm up! I'm up. Sort of. So, as you know, today is International Goof-Off Day. Yep, international law clearly prohibits you from doing anything productive today, so you should tell you … | Continue reading
YA-da-duddle-duh-duh-DA-da-duddle! YA-da-duddle-duh-duh-DA-da-duddle! DA-da-da-da-da-DA-da-da-da-da ... ... ... Wow. Sorry. As you may have guessed, (but probably not) today's cakes are circus-themed! (It's really hard to type out circus music). Almost as hard, Jen tells me, as h … | Continue reading
Wreck you. I had so many starts and stops trying to read that second line, I can actually feel my neurons overloading. It's like the visual equivalent of trying to step out on hot coals. I'm suddenly fighting the urge to sing Daisy and invite you to a game of chess. (Don't tell m … | Continue reading
Everybody sing! Who's the one that can't be made into a CCC? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! And who's the one that looks like he Would like to break your knees? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! Mickey Mouse! We think that's him! Mickey Mouse! Orange you glad? Bump badump badump badump baDUMP!! [Si … | Continue reading
+ = Thanks to Kellee W. for making the dark lord look sheepish. ***** Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK,Canada. | Continue reading
And now… Rejected Princess Movies... in cake. Snow White And The Swamps of Sadness "Arrrrrtaaaaaax!!" Sleeping With The Fishes A terrible curse. A fishy tail. And a super long nap. ("Is she still pink?" "No, BLUE!") Fairy Apocalypse Tinkerbell finds a new friend! And this one's s … | Continue reading
This is a perfectly lovely wedding cake, you guys. Perfectly lovely. [...] [side eye] But I'm not the only one who sees it, right? #DirtyMindsUnite This little girl is thinking, "I can ALSO spell better than you, dude." Such a nice chocolate wine glass, and then... WHY?! When You … | Continue reading
It's a rare treat to find a cake as elegant as this Claddagh design for the holiday: (By Cake Gallery) Who needs flowers with clovers this sweet? So rather than featuring all Leprechauns and pots of gold, today I'm also mixing in some gorgeous wedding cakes in one of my favorite … | Continue reading
Not-So-Frozen Cupcakes: Because some people are worth melting for? [bah dum CHA!] Chris And The Untouchable Footwear: It actually took me a minute to realize what this was supposed to say. Now I feel so... empty. #ThatWasAHint #NoticeTheLackOfShoePuns #StraightLaced #OkJustOne #N … | Continue reading
Bethany wanted her wedding cake to be a flight of fancy: … | Continue reading
[movie announcer voice]It's the slasher/horror/thriller of the season, and it's coming... FOR YOU. … | Continue reading
If only we had some clue what Asher wanted on his birthday cake, minions. … | Continue reading
Today, we’re celebrating Unique Names Day so here's to you, Dufus: … | Continue reading
Today we're going OLD SCHOOL. (Pink Cake Box, New Jersey) … | Continue reading
Thanks to Fred C., Robin C., Amber H., and Andy Warhol, who said, "Art is anything you can get away with." ******That reminds me, I found some more goodies for my fellow art lovers: … | Continue reading
You and me both, Tiffany: You and me both. Her baby's nam … | Continue reading
The English language is the stuff of poetry, minions, and there's nothing quite so satisfying as finding a new, never-before-used way of expressing the fact that a cake is uglier than a bag of baboon balls.*[*"Bag of Baboon Balls" is the name of my Monkee's cover band.]For exampl … | Continue reading
It's Pet-Sitters week, minions, and I have just the cakes to celebrate: … | Continue reading
To quote Taylor Swift, I've got a blank space, baby: But … | Continue reading
Writing this post gave me an unexpected wallop in the feels department, gang. I hope it gives you a little warm glow, too. (If it's been a while, go listen to Kermit sing this song here.)*****It's not that easy bein' green, … | Continue reading
Ladies and gentlemen, the stories you're about to see are true. The phone calls, however, are just how I imagined they went. "Yes, I'd like it to say 'Happy 6th Birthday Robert.' Oh, and could you put Spider-Man on the cake, too? That's his favorite character." Y … | Continue reading