He was negative many days from retirement! | Continue reading
Do you think the Brooklyn Nets’ nets are labeled “net”? | Continue reading
Laughing at wild animals is a victimless crime. | Continue reading
Honestly, that sounds like torture. | Continue reading
Do curly fries and crinkle fries really have two markedly different flavors? | Continue reading
It's bad for the environment, bad for the ecosystem, and as a waste of tax dollars, probably bad for the economy. | Continue reading
Even the Bible doesn't tell of scorpions after floods. | Continue reading
This is a real twenty-first century mess. | Continue reading
If this isn't the end of civilization, it should be. | Continue reading
Blake Bortles never got sacked by Blake Bortles? | Continue reading
Did the hotel agree to this? Also yikes. | Continue reading
“A sex tape for the government” is really quite the phrase. | Continue reading
In related news, Ohio Street defeated Penn Street. | Continue reading
Maybe these prisoners can request to opt out of confinement. | Continue reading
Don't junk up a good logo with 30 other logos. | Continue reading
You will be missed, Jerry. | Continue reading
Hell, if I were the New York Mets, I'd consider a name change. | Continue reading
We've all got way, way too many weak ties. | Continue reading
This is apparently a long-standing practice for the judge, which makes the whole thing even worse. | Continue reading
It's a “precautionary measure” based on “numerous anecdotal cases that have been in circulation”. Scienceriffic! | Continue reading
The near-universal possibility of celebrity is terrifying. | Continue reading
Apparently this didn't already exist. | Continue reading
Personally, I think a dazzle of zebras sounds better. | Continue reading
Pissing off a wizard seems like a bad idea. | Continue reading
Marcel Hug could probably use a hug. | Continue reading
Also, Daniel Lavery was not a good columnist, and he is not missed. | Continue reading
To be fair, she may well require a walker for the rest of her life. | Continue reading
His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit. | Continue reading
That will not, in fact, buff right out. | Continue reading
This has always been a fairly bad idea, but it's especially bad in 2021. | Continue reading
Over 500 hacked displays. Well done! | Continue reading
If it's a choice between otters and dogs, I have to side with the dogs. Still, otters are usually pretty great. | Continue reading
A fat fall bear is a healthy bear. | Continue reading
Get your sweaters ready, Detroit. | Continue reading
Honestly, why does a billionaire even have neighbors? | Continue reading
At a certain point, the Apple Watch should perhaps be smart enough to throw in the towel. | Continue reading
Science! | Continue reading
What an amazing quote. | Continue reading
It's very difficult to pick a favorite. Maybe “Mad Cow Disease”? | Continue reading
This was a stellar use of resources and energy. | Continue reading
Let's not let Texas take us all back to 1972. | Continue reading
How to see the moon. Hominy! | Continue reading
Visit One Foot Tsunami to read more. | Continue reading