Look at Those Ears Go

They found a way to improve upon bat dogs, and I am here for it. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Such an Honor

The full name is “Opaluma rupaul”. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Perhaps It’s a Clue

Even a blank white t-shirt would be better. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

A Replacement Seems Like a Bare Minimum

But hey, here's to no more shitty robot vacuums | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Mr. Goxx the Crypto Trading Hamster

If you thought cryptocurrency couldn't get any more ridiculous, well, you were mistaken. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Opportunity Cost of Ivermectin

“Doesn't account for the complexities of the human body” is a really kind way of phrasing this. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Siri’s Atrocious Fielding Percentage

Siri is bad at fielding requests. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Now It’s Everyone’s Problem

Also, you now have a much bigger problem than a missed flight. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Domino’s Dumpster Dough

An apple snail for scale is quite something. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Perhaps We Need Stricter Licensing for Both Firearms and Reproduction

No need to worry, we don't have a problem with firearms in America. Why would you say that? | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

It Would Indeed Be for the Public Good

Well, he is a criminal, and for that matter, I suppose I hope he IS hardened. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Turn Off Location Services on Your Phone and Just Get a Gun

What, you can't echolocate gunshots? | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Mitigating Ventilator Shortages With Butt Breathing

In a pinch, I'd take an oxygen enema, but I'd prefer to avoid it. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

A Superb Shot

Perhaps my favorite note is that he's wearing a high-visibility sweatshirt, sure to draw the eye. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Atheist Chief Chaplain

He also appears to be a Guns N’ Roses fan. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Eat Fast, Die Young, and Leave a Bloated Corpse

Hamburgers, by contrast, supposedly only cost you 7 minutes. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

I Suppose Cars Might Be a Decent Source of Iron

Still, they'd probably be better off with a decent multi-vitamin. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Time Has Come for Octopus Ultimate Frisbee

I would like to visit this “Octopolis”. Do they have reasonably priced hotels? | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Come Ride the Spine Snapper

No thank you, please. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

That Seems About Right

It couldn't have happened to a more deserving bunch. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

A Better Brick

Lego tolerances are fascinating and impressive. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

This Clutter Paid for by Amazon

Perhaps it's time for higher taxes on businesses. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Place for Adults to Marry Kids

North Carolina's got a lot of problems. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

A Stain on Our Identity

An objective observer would have a very difficult time defended this practice. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Secret Life of Bee Rustlers

I'm picturing these rustlers using tiny lassos to rope individual bees. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Striped Hyena Are Avid Collectors

Less charitably, one might call these hyenas horaders. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Fighting for the Free Speech Rights of Scabby the Labor Rat

Also, “Smurfing” is a funny verb. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Communication Is Key

The costs of a failure to communicate can be very high. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Brockstar Continues to Set Records

A postseason cycle is cool and all, but it's no 31 MPH strike. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Fecal Transplants for Brain Health

Is there really no better way to do the transplant? | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Remotely Controlled Robot Waiters

That's a great idea. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Android’s Cursed Emoji Mergers

This shouldn't be. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

QAnon Convinced the Father of a Parkland Shooting Survivor That It Was All a Hoax

We can only hope that there's a special place in hell for these people. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Now That’s a Conversation Piece

It's both a grower AND a show-er. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

An Unexpected Consequence of Drug Abuse

Don't they have the DARE program in their schools? 👻 | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Dogs Know What’s Up

I mean, you certainly can trick a dog, but you shouldn't. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Cleaning Fairy Is Real

Mark doesn't have a cat, and was undoubtedly very, very confused. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Emoji Skin Colors

Good luck, human resources department! | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Sir Charles Does Not Mince Words

Well, there's also the ineligible. But it's a good quip, broadly speaking. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Breaking News: Siri Continues to Be Bad

That game was played in May. MAY! | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Boston Renegades Kick Ass

For all sorts of reasons, the WFA is a better league than the NFL. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Guardians of Traffic and Now Baseball

This is a great change. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

The Math Says Make It Look Like a Wanger

I would perhaps have calculated differently. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

“Illegal Voting” in Texas and the Need for Bail Reform

Our systems need a whole lot of fixes. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

There Was Also a Hot Dog Tasting Review

Hosted by Frank “The Tank” Fleming | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Running for a Cause

I'm running a race for charity. Perhaps you'll donate. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

A Hot Mic at the All-Star Game

Shockingly, it could've been worse. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago

Resurrecting the Gould’s Mouse

Sure, that seems like a long lifespan for a mouse, but he's on island time. | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 3 years ago