Goodness Gray-tious

 Unless you've been living under a totally unfashionable rock, you are well aware that gray is one of the hottest trends in Trendville right now. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

With Apologies to Julie Andrews

♫ Bulbous-nosed witches who probably eat kittens | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

With Apologies to Julia Andrews

♫ Bulbous-nosed witches who probably eat kittens | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

The All-Male Wreck Review

[Note: Mildly risque jokes & images ahead. And one banana hammock.] We all live in fear of an embarrassing photo popping up on Facebook, but it turns out there's an even WORSE place for those best-forgotten candids to turn up: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Like, Whatever

Transcript of the actual conversation of the Loud Girl talking on her phone in the next booth last night at dinner... "So, like, I was at work today, and my boss Bob comes up to me, y'know, and he's all like, "Did you finish that project I gave you last week?" "And I, like,&am | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Wedding Is Believing

You all know we have a "professional cakes only" policy here at CW, but when it comes to  wedding  cakes that can be a tough call. See, apparently most of you wreckporters feel a little awkward accosting the bride and demanding to know if her baker  actually & | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Reading Between The Wrecks

Chocolates? Flowers? Cutesy stuffed animals? BO-RING. This Valentine's day, give me something a little out-of-the-ordinary! Something a little daring!  Something a little...um... | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Sunday Sweets: Be My Valentine

Ahhh, love is in the air, my friends! Can you smell it? It's kind of a mix of roses and chocolate and really gigantic cupcakes: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Valentines Strategery

Valentines Day is next week, so it's a good idea to start strategizing now. I mean strategerizing. I mean stratavarigizing. I mean WHATEVER SPELLCHECK YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME. [What you're not seeing - other than me yelling at my screen like a madwoman - is that spellcheck is te … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

What's Wrong This This Picture?

Murphy wanted one of the Avengers on his birthday cake. I'll give you two guesses which one: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

My Naughty Valentine

NOTE:  Mildly suggestive humor ahead - so get your kids to explain it if you have any trouble. NOTE THE SECOND : I'M KIDDING. Clear the area of innocents! ***************   Valentines' day is a celebration of love, and of the  people  we love, and of the … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Killer Math

+ | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Dump Week

It's National Dump Your Significant Jerk Week, or as I like to call it,  Dump Week.  That's right, folks, it's time to get out  now  before you have to spend another Valentines' Day shelling out the dough for over-priced chocolates and stuffed animals! And re … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Sunday Sweets Gets Fruity!

My New Year's resolution this year is to eat healthier. Like making spinach smoothies or whatever it is all the kids are doing these days. More veggies. Definitely more fruit. Do you think this would count? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

What The Fern?

Far be it from me to question the existence of any cake - it's CAKE, after all - but sometimes, when I'm staring with horrified fascination at a spotted vomitous mass one of you found on a display shelf, I have to ask myself: "Hey, what's that little blue duck doing there?" | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Do You Hear What I Hear?

We all mishear things from time to time. Heck, I  still  think Elton John just wanted a hug from Tony Danza. However, there are certain levels to auditory misunderstanding, which thanks to today's bakers I can now illustrate and then make snarky comments about. WOOHOO! … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Keep It Simple, Stupid

Bride-to-be Coley got engaged in Hershey Park, so for her bridal shower her friends thought it would be fun to have a giant Hershey Kiss cake. Cool idea, right? Especially since, as far as shaped cakes go, a kiss shouldn't be  that  hard - I mean, it's not like it's a&n … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

LEGGO MY LEGO!

Hey, yesterday was LEGO's 63rd birthday! Yep, that's 63 whole years of tiny bruises and hopping around the house on one foot while cursing - which is  definitely  grounds for cake, don't you think? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Sunday Sweets: Tasty Tentacles!

So I was thinking I wanted to do something different this week for Sweets. Something new. Something crazy. Something, I don't know... tentacley. Don't worry; I'm not going to show you anything WEIRD. Besides, I bet most of you like a cute lil' octopus as much as you obviously l … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

You Don't Know Jack

Once Upon A Time... ...there was a boy named Jack: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

A Minor Oversight

Your first mistake, my dear Wreckies, was in being so positive and supportive of yesterday's post that some of you even asked to see some of the posts John *won't* let me publish. So again, in my defense:  you asked for it.  Here's one that's been languishing in my d … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

A Team Effort

Ever wonder how a Cake Wrecks post gets written? Well, sometimes, it's like this:   Me: "I need a post idea. Any funny holidays coming up?" John: [googling] "Hmm. Oh. Here we go: it's National Self-Help Group Awareness Month." Me: "Isn't a 'self-help'  | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Spam Poetry

Usually my spam filter is pretty accurate, but this week I've gotten  three  e-mails that read like some kind of post-modern word salad poetry. I'm assuming they're spam, but then again, maybe they're really some hip new literary project by postmodern word salad poets. … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Oooooh...SO CLOSE

So do bakers still get points if you can at least tell what their cakes were *supposed* to say?   | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Sunday Sweets: Watercolor Cakes

Apparently watercolors date back as far as the cave paintings of Paleolithic Europe. (Thanks Wikipedia!) It was done on things like stone, leather, papyrus, and now ... | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Let's Call The Post Literally. Thanks.

If Cake Wrecks has taught us anything, it's that you have to be really careful what you say to a baker: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

An Indecent Proposal

Suppose you're a professional baker, and you want to propose to the love of your life. What do you do? Why, you make a  cake  of course! And you pour all of your time, talent, and t-passion into that cake, because  this , of all the cakes in your career, is witho … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Bazinga!

Everybody sing!   Squashed kitties | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Celebrity Mash-Up Math

+ | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

How To Turn A Lazy Sunday Afternoon Into Monday's Post

It's Sunday right now where I am, which is to say in the past, since obviously you're reading this in the future, which is to say on Monday. Or maybe even later than Monday, since maybe you only check Cake Wrecks a few times a week, so it could be, like, WEDNESDAY or something ri … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

I Am So, So Sorry: 6 C-Section Cakes People Actually Ate

I want you to know, minions, that this post is not my idea/fault. *I* didn't make it Cesarean Section Day, mmkay? And *I* didn't make/order/condone ANY of these cakes,  NO SIR . But now LOOK what these bakers are making me do! LOOK. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Loki Here!

Thor's Hammer: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Top 13 Telephone Wrecks

There are literal wrecks ("Just write Happy Birthday on it,") and then there are the wrecks that literally suffer from a game of Telephone.  And they're fabulous.   "Too Legit To Quit" | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

A Stark Difference

Proving once again the pictures in the bakery's order book are always too good to be true: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

9 Realistic New Year's Resolutions

Chances are you've all  completely  failed at all your New Year's resolutions by now. Well, good! Who needs 'em? Round IS a shape! You know plenty of stuff already! And really, if God didn't want you in debt, he wouldn't have given you so many credit cards! So I say, … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Sunday Sweets: Mythical Beasts & Where to Devour Them

The time has come, my Sweets-loving friends.  Prepare yourselves. [ahem hem hem] UNLEASH THE KRAKEN CAKE!! | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Whoaaaa MAN.

[putting on sunglasses] [lighting groovy cigarette] [signalling groovy bass player to start groovy bass music] CAKE! So sad, bra. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

The Final Countdown

Look, bakers, I'll be the firth to admit I'm not so great with numbers... | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Mama MIA!

Tabitha G. ordered a Mario cake for her five-year-old's birthday party. You know Mario, right? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

In The Not-So-Distant Future...

Greetings. I am Siri3000, your automated cake decorator. How may I help you? "Siri, I need a cake." *dingding* I am programmed with 12 billion different cake styles. What kind of cake would you like? "Well, I was kinda hoping for a soccer cake..." *dingding* I have made 2 | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

New Year's Aftermath

Ok, team, we still have some New Year's cakes left over, so let's do a big push this week to get these things off the shelves! Bob, just say yours is a butterfly: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Sunday Sweets For Roy G. Biv

I don't know if you've noticed lately, but the sun is kind of awesome. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

Hey, All These Lyrics I Forgot...

Should all baking skills be forgot? And never brought to mind? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

I've Got A Baaaad Feeling About This...

"I'm sorry, what did you say you wanted on your cake, again?" | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

The Far Side Of Cake, Vol. 9

They say Santa just wasn't the same after that visit. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

A Tail Of WHOA

CW reader Eric ordered a "pin the tail on the donkey" cake for his twin girls' fourth birthday party. They got this: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

The Irish Bakery Rovers

The week after Christmas is traditionally the slowest week of the year for Cake Wrecks. Apparently, people are "spending time with family" or whatever. So today, I thought I'd do something different. Because Jen's asleep and I can do what I want because  she's not the boss … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago

It's A Sweet Day For A Winter Wedding

Hey, if you can't  beat  the cold, celebrate it! (Says the girl in Florida. :D)   Besides, sparkly ice and swirling snowflakes are PERFECT for a fairy tale wedding: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 2 years ago