They asked for, "Happy Birthday Sally/Mom," but I suspect they ordered it over the phone. Give it a minute. THERE IT IS. And here's a little hunting tip: HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Bakers, you keep using that word: "Plain" I do not think it means what you think it means. (And am I … | Continue reading
I read that this Sunday is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' "Mutation Day" - something you wouldn't think other people would celebrate, but then, that's the only explanation we have for this: And in true TMNT fashion, I shall call her "Hipposaurus." "Why are we running?" "Becaus … | Continue reading
It was Talk Like A Pirate Day last week, but I think this bakery could have used less talking and more map-drawing: When in doubt, add more arrows. Julie asked for "boyish colors and decorations." So you saw it here first, folks: Clown poop is officially "boyish." And a "decorati … | Continue reading
It's not even October, you guys, but bakers are already trying to scare us. Fruit cocktail dumped on chocolate Tres Leches cake? WHAT FRESH CANNED HORROR IS THIS? And while we're bellowing rhetorical questions to the heavens... The eyelashes. Why? The head wound/toupee. Why? The … | Continue reading
Today we're going to address the elephant in the room. And by "elephant" I mean all elephants. And by "address" I mean "look at cakes of." And by "in the room" I mean "NOT in this room." Ahem hem hem. Ahhh, elephants. So ele-gant. So phant-astic. (Don't mind the nose; he's just c … | Continue reading
I know technically it’s Fall today, but I'm not ready for autumn colors yet! So here's one last hurrah of bright flowery goodness before we surrender to our Pumpkin Spice overlords. (By Mandarin Cakes) One of the most beautiful wreath cakes I've ever seen - and that's all butterc … | Continue reading
You know the problem with grapes? They're just so... grapey. MUCH better. (Yes, I know that's not cake. But funny grape signs ARE MY JAM.) When possible, it's always nice to work in a good "f you" to a congratulatory cake: Really keeps 'em guessing. When Bakers Forget How Waterme … | Continue reading
It's Shameless Promotion Month, minions, and who better to teach us a thing or two than our very own wreckerators? After all, they've been doing this stuff for YEARS: If you're wondering if you should order here... here's your sign. Now, the first rule of shameless promotion: the … | Continue reading
It's "Stay Away From Seattle Day", minions, so for all of you NOT in Seattle: good job. Have some cake. And for you Seattle-ites: maybe try not to annoy the people who make up weird holidays. (Unless this a benefit, so you get a day free from tourists?) Anyhoo, much like staying … | Continue reading
When you don't know if you should be more relieved... or worried: Is that... a pie tin? o.0 *** Her local bakery didn't have a bowling design, so Renee brought in a little plastic bowling kit a few days ahead of time for them to use on her son's birthday cake. The good news? They … | Continue reading
Luanne H. writes, "We hired a local catering lady to do our cake. She showed up 45 minutes late, and THIS IS THE CAKE SHE PRESENTED TO US!!! Yep, I'd say that's a wreck that deserves all caps and three exclamation marks, Luanne. Condolences. ***** Jessi H. writes, "When I showed … | Continue reading
I may be the last person on this particular bandwagon, but I was watching that new organizing show on Netflix when I heard Neil Patrick Harris mention "Shopkins" toys, so of course I had to google. Y'ALL. Apparently my taste is in line with 2-6 year-olds (no surprise there) becau … | Continue reading
Happy Opposite Day, minions! Oh wait, or am I supposed to wish you a terrible Opposite Day? I'm a little fuzzy/slimy on the format here. Just to be safe, I've found a couple different examples of opposite cakes. Like numbers facing opposite directions: Except they wrote them the … | Continue reading
Wrecky minion Laura ordered this design for her son's birthday: ...but there must have been a mixup, because instead of trees and pavement, Laura ended up with the rare Mad Mouse, Fury Road color scheme: "OH BOY! WITNESS ME! HO HO!" Laura tells me her first hint that something wa … | Continue reading
I know I just talked about zebras last week, minions - or rather, the abject hatred wreckerators have for zebras, which prevents them from ever looking at zebras before they make zebra-striped cakes - but it turns out last week was only the tip of the icing 'berg. Now, I know wha … | Continue reading
Thanks to Debbie W., & Sarah F. for telling it like it is. ***** P.S. Today I learned they sell birthday candles you attach to your drinks. Your boozy drinks. Wish Clips Birthday Candles Now, I'm not sure who thought combining an open flame with alcohol was a good idea, but going … | Continue reading
Yesterday I was thinking about that time we met Karen Prell and Brian Henson, which was beyond amazing. I say this both to brag (WE MET KAREN PRELL AND BRIAN HENSON YOU GUYS) and to explain why I have Muppets on the brain. (Btw, "Muppets On The Brain" is the name of my Lady Gaga … | Continue reading
Anyone else have fond memories of your school's lab? The eye-wash stations against the back wall, the shelves of beakers and bunson burners, that funky burnt smell that never quite went away? Ahh, good times. So today we're celebrating all the fun parts of Lab, and pretending the … | Continue reading
As you know, September is International Strategic Thinking Month, so while we hang our Strategic Stockings and hum the Strategery anthem, let's take a quick break for cake... strategically. 1: Is your handwriting too big? 2: Too small? C: Did you start too high? D: Or too drunk? … | Continue reading
Bad poetry is like a really bad analogy. And super fun to write. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?? ...no. Chomp We were all so sorry To hear of your fate, We still don't know How it escaped from the crate, But... Movement In P Major You are such fun Second to none, Indeed … | Continue reading
Ahh, flip-flops. The quintessential, mandatory summer footwear of summer-dwelling people who also have feet. Look closely. You're about to forget what these look like. Here in Florida, you'd be hard pressed to find a person NOT wearing flip-flops right now. That's because we're a … | Continue reading
I've discovered something incredible, minions: wreckerators hate zebras. It's true! Wreckerators hate zebras so much, they can't even look at them - which is why so many "zebra-striped" cakes end up looking like poop smears: Or DNA sequencing: Or, my personal favorite, the Mind F … | Continue reading
Today we celebrate the American work force that labors so hard to keep this great nation of ours running. Plus the ones who did this: /\';;'/\ Baker: "Well, the customer said she wanted 'Buy Ryan,' but THAT doesn't make any sense, so... better add some ellipses." And lest you thi … | Continue reading
I stumbled on a new trend in wedding cakes using an old classic - and I think you guys are gonna liiiiike it: (Truffle, Toronto) It's Macrame! On wedding cakes. (Fluffy Thoughts, Virginia) WOW, y'all. WOW. (Yes, all edible!) Here's a fun modern take: (Erica O'Brien) A few of thes … | Continue reading
Hey kids! So you’re officially back in school! I guess we all know how you feel about that. If it's any consolation, your parents feel the same way when they pay for your school supplies. ("How can you possibly need 37 1-inch plain white view binders?!?") Supplies in hand, you'll … | Continue reading
So there's a brand new cake design in town, and it's, well... ... confusing. At first I thought it was just some leftover Batman flotsam running wild amongst the New Year's party hats. Then I thought maybe the "party hats" were supposed to be some kind of psychedelic twin sunsets … | Continue reading
Tomorrow is John's and my 26th wedding anniversary, and before you ask, yes, we DID get married as toddlers. We wore onesies and tottered down the aisle to the theme from Muppet Babies. It was awesome. Anyhoo, I know what you're thinking. "Jim," you're thinking, - because you've … | Continue reading
Bakers, in today's lagging economy the race to earn customers' hard-earned dollars is on. So how can you stay ahead of your competition? With tasteful, quality display-cakes, that's how. Yep, you want displays that draw people in. Displays that show off your skills. Displays that … | Continue reading
Today is National Dog Day! Quick! Make a cake effigy of your favorite pooch and slit its throat! See, NOW it's a party. (Also, I just realized "your favorite pooch" could have gone a very different direction. So you're welcome.) As an unabashed cat person (CATS RULE, DOGS SNIFF Y … | Continue reading
You're never too old to love Disney Princesses, but sometimes you reach a point where you want a little less ruffles and bows, and something a bit more elegant. (Cakeria Carioca, closed) Like this! That glittering pumpkin on top. Yessss. And where are my Merida fans? (Floren Bast … | Continue reading
Hey, do you know what Truck Nuts are? If you do, congrats, you're from the South like me. YEEHAW AND HOWDY. For the rest of you, Truck Nuts are dangling testicles for your truck. I wish I was making this up. Anyway, the reason I mention Truck Nuts (besides seeing how many times I … | Continue reading
Over the weekend I slept on my neck wrong - I guess 42 years of practice just isn't enough - so to turn my head I had to move like Michael Keaton's Batman, lurching my whole torso around. Me, stiffly staring 3 feet to the left of where John is standing: "Could you please move 3 f … | Continue reading
It's "Internet Self-Care Day," minions, and isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?* [*Evil laugh, evil laugh, evil laugh] Anyone who still has a functioning Facebook account can tell you the internet is why we NEED self-care most days. Remember when graduation cakes were a thing, becau … | Continue reading
"Hey, Barb, the customers are complaining your butterfly design looks too childish." "So if you can try to make it more appealing to adults, and not just to three-year-olds, that'd be great. K? Thaaanks." [later that day] "Uh, Barb? WE NEED TO TALK." Thanks to Ashlee B. for the c … | Continue reading
Wait, it's Bad Poetry Day again? Don't we have like 6 of these every year? Not that I'm complaining: I will happily torture you with my Vogon Entry Level verse any time, ya hoopy froods. A-hem hem hem. A-phlegm phlegm phlegm. ::bowing:: Thank you, thank you very much. Next! My be … | Continue reading
There's a growing trend to make every tier on multi-tiered cakes completely different from the others, and while I'm usually a matchy-matchy kinda girl, I gotta say, some of these are downright magical: (Sweet Symphony Desserts, India) OooOOooh. Those iridescent leaves made my ja … | Continue reading
Hey, you know how some women kinda dread turning 40? Here's how to make it worse. "Yeah, you know, REALLY emphasize that 40. So she doesn't need her glasses to see it." "Whoops! Ah, well, same difference, am I right? HAHAHAHAHAHAwhy is Karen crying?" And best/worst of all: I also … | Continue reading
Birthday girl Jenna Claire is allergic to tree nuts. Unfortunately, this means she had to share her cake with "Trez Hats". (If you think that handwriting is bad, imagine what the order form looked like.) And for little Ava's birthday, her folks splurged and got her the lovechild … | Continue reading
Tomorrow is National "No SpongeBob" Day, a day when all the residents of Bikini Bottom left to enjoy a day... without SpongeBob. Womp Womp. I think they were on to something. And my personal favorite: I have a sudden, irrational desire to make this my new profile pic on everythin … | Continue reading
Sure, it's August. But why not? LET'S BUILD A SADWMAN. This comma is me at every party I've ever been to: Out of place, kinda confusing, doing it wrong... but it's THERE, alright? IT'S THERE. Presented without comment: ...mostly because all the ones I can think of will get me in … | Continue reading
In honor of World Calligraphy Day, let's take a moment to really appreciate the poise, the precision, and the painstaking perfection on display every day in our nation's bakeries. Bravo, bakers. Bravo. Thanks to Candice, Melissa S., Lauren S., Elsa F., Cydney B., Jim K., Mark S., … | Continue reading
Any Mid-Century Modern fans out there? I didn't think I was 'til I started following a few interior design folks online, and now I'm really warming up to the retro atomic-era style. It also helps when I find cakes like this! (Honey Crumb Cake Studio, Seattle) My favorite color co … | Continue reading
It's Resurrect Romance Week, minions, and I'm here to school you in the ways of wooing-with-cake. Trust me, there are lots of ways you can heat things up with a little frosting, IF you know what I mean. Eh? ::eyebrow waggle:: EH? ::elbow nudge:: Oh, whoops. Wrong cake. Hang on. . … | Continue reading
And my favorite: No, really. They asked for Mickey Mouse... and got this. I honestly don't know if I should headdesk or applaud. Well played, baker. WELL PLAYED. Thanks to Mike C., Adrian, Celeste C., & Jennifer T. for taking the Mickey out of us. | Continue reading
Tomorrow is International Cat Day, so let's celebrate John's favorite animal EVER: TIEGERS!! Wait, no, I mean: TIRGERS!! (ERMERGHERD!) You know, the things that can sit(?) on their own heads? ("This feels grrrrrREAT!") And have three jaws, tentacles, and 'uge, pointy teeth? IT'S … | Continue reading
It's "Simplify Your Life Week," minions, and I say we start with cake. (We can also end with cake and in-between with cake, because... cake.) Now, sure, I've shown you over 15,000 wrecks on this blog, but that's no reason to think ordering a cake has to be complicated! Just keep … | Continue reading
I thought I'd seen it all, dear minions. Heck, I HAVE seen it all. Just... not like this: Either these naked baby dolls came to life overnight and started eating the display cakes, OR - and this is even MORE disturbing - the bakery did this on purpose. I'm not even creeped out by … | Continue reading
John decided to watch the Johnny Depp Willy Wonka movie earlier this week, and I decided I was too lazy to leave the room. The movie is... fine? But I'll always prefer Gene Wilder as Wonka - even with that traumatizing boat scene. Anyway, since I wasn't really focused on the movi … | Continue reading