What is life anyway? What does it mean to live or get by and somehow, you have a few extra moments, at some point, just to look back at the work you’ve left behind, and say yeah, that was me.I did that! I suppose life is a collection of memories. Life is a series of […] | Continue reading
This comes after a long night, which means this entry will be sappy, of course.But there will be no apologies. Not for this anyway. Perhaps I will apologize for what I have overlooked or took for granted. Maybe I will apologize for my shortsightedness or for the times when I saw … | Continue reading
There comes a time when the excuses have to stop. All of what we’ve done and what we’ve been through and, of course, all that we survived and endured have become part of our past as well as part of our life.This is our seasoning. Right?This is what makes us who we are. Or, maybe … | Continue reading
I have learned that there is a difference between someone who will hunt for sport and someone who will hunt for food. The difference is both huge and obvious. But moreover, when it comes to times of downfall or despair, the difference between the two is what decides which person … | Continue reading
I was never emotional. Or should I say that I would never show emotion.I would never share or talk about my emotions with anyone else, or tell someone about my feelings, or, at minimum, I would never dare to do this or expose my truths in fear that someone would tell about me or … | Continue reading
If it is true that much of life is beyond our control and if it is also true that we have no control over people, places and things, then fine. We have to live. We have to find a way to keep going. Therefore, in an effort to pull off our trick, all we can […] | Continue reading
Why give in? Why quit? Why submit or lay down and give way to the weight?Or better yet, why drown drown in your own emotion? And if at all, why allow anyone the right to become the predictor of your fate? Why? Even if you are right. Even if you are wrong. Even if you […] | Continue reading
I allow myself to look at the sky, east of course where the sun comes from. I say this because this is where I am now and this is where I come from, the East coast, of course, as in New York, which is where I have always been.I do not see myself back where […] | Continue reading
And here we go.I know that there has always been an argument about God, or which God is there right God, or, if there is a God, is He or She (or They) listening? Does God hear our prayers? Does God answer?Or is God an Earthly being, made up by mankind with the need to […] | Continue reading
Here’s a trick.Stay out of your own head. I love this saying yet, I know the difficulties which come when, of course, we need to stay out of head or we need to stop thinking so much. We need to stop the movies from playing out in our heads.We need to stop contemplating the worst- … | Continue reading
There is no place to go, except for here. This is where the trick takes place. This is where we do the groundwork and create the plan on what to do next.We have a plan to consider. we have to figure out which way do we go, how do we move, and when we move, […] | Continue reading
I remember being told that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. I remember being told that blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth. The again, I remember a line from a movie, which questioned, “I wonder how meek they’ll be when they do, sir.” I reme … | Continue reading
I don’t believe that everyone understands. But this doesn’t mean that everyone needs to. I see things the way I see them and you see things the way you see them. And that’s fine.No, really. It’s fine.I don’t believe that we need to see the same thing or that we need to know every … | Continue reading
I never knew the answers to the question regarding the when, where or why we seek approval. I’m not so sure why this is so important to us.Why do we care about what other people think? Why do we take so much to heart and more to the point, why do we personalize the insults […] | Continue reading
The mind is an amazing thing. I can say that this is where we live, love, laugh, and learn. I can say that this is where we store our memories and keep our secrets. I can say that the mind is the place where we store the arrows, which we sometimes use to shoot down […] | Continue reading
I suppose the real trick is to make something out of nothing. But a trick is a trick. So, of course, there has to be something to this. Right?Or like any trick, there has to be something behind it, or something unseen, or some kind of method to the madness, I know there has to [… … | Continue reading
I remember being told, “You have to give it away to keep it.”I was younger then, much younger. Maybe I was too young to understand this. Or maybe my head was someplace else, or perhaps I was too selfish to catch the irony.Then again . . .I suppose this can be true for a lot […] | Continue reading
This is something that I need to get off my chest. Then again, this is a journal entry, so, what else would this be used for?Am I right?By now, I suppose that you and I have talked enough for you to know that I need this place. I need this, right here, as in this […] | Continue reading
What do you want?I think this is a simple question. I think there is more than one answer to this question. I also think this question comes in multiple parts. However, as far as being simple, I think the answers to this are simple too. I think the requirements are simple. The ac … | Continue reading
I wish there was a button somewhere. I wish there was something I could do or say and just like that, any ache or pain, or any moment of sadness would turn off, or become invisible, and then fade away.I wish there was something I could do to erase the ideas or the thoughts, or [… … | Continue reading
This is dedicated to you. Just so you know . . . I was thinking about two words. Be magical.How amazing. I was thinking about what this must entail or what this means, to be magical, or to be amazing and so pure at heart. Perhaps, to be magical is as simple as being powerful […] | Continue reading
This is my first entry in this new journal. I am caught up in some kind of circumstance. I am torn and I am thinking too much. But ah, at least I have you and this empty screen. I can vent here. I can scream. I can cheer. I can chant and I can do […] | Continue reading
Be advised that I am not a magician. I’ve never been able to pull a rabbit out of my hat. I’ve never been much for card tricks either. But everyone has a trick. Everyone has a talent. Everyone has a strength that outweighs and outshines their weakest parts. Everyone has a way to … | Continue reading
I have told you about my trick. Or at least the tricks I’ve been looking to pull off, at least to some degree. I have nothing up my sleeve and no mirrors or anything like that. And this . . . my tricks or whatever they may be; these are items of mine, or should […] | Continue reading
I say this is second to lastbecause today is the second to last daythat I spend time on this journal. It’s time to plan aheadand move forward. Ready? You have to know what you want.You have to know what it is, what it’s worth, and more than anything, when you realize what you wan … | Continue reading
This one is going to sting(a little)or maybe not. And so, it is . . .I have no time for thisI have no tongue for the lies of my crimes nor can I stand by as a witness or be nothing else but a bystanderor some passerby, watching . . .nor can I be someone […] | Continue reading
I was reminded of my old friend Hank. He and I used to walk from 7th Avenue to 5th after lunchtime. Man, I used to love these walks. How I met Hank is not important nor is this something that belongs in an open discussion. But at the same time, Hank and I shared a […] | Continue reading
Everyone needs a break sometimes.You need a day off. In fact, I think I need one right now. Then again, I thin I’ve told you about the song from Bill Joel called Vienna. Right?This world is a crazy place. We are a special breed, you and I.And I mean this with the best intentions. … | Continue reading
Good morning, Sunday.This more than a letter. At least, I hope so.This is more like an extension of say, myself or the hopes to lay down the weapons, and perhaps this way, we can find a moment of peace.I am told that my letters cannot reach you where you are now. I am told that [ … | Continue reading
I can tell you that there’s nothing like a breath of fresh air.There’s nothing like being able to breathe when the air was nothing else, but stagnant and thick, and somehow, or perhaps, finally, a gust of wind blows passed your face and lifts your hair back.And then it’s like, ah … | Continue reading
I recall a morning, cold as ever, bright and beautiful and the world around me was still new. I was still young. The world was changing, and my life was about to take on a brand-new look.I was on a farm. I was living in the middle of a time that I never thought that […] | Continue reading
It is mild today, and still warm, and yet, this is more like a testament or a qualifying moment, as if to be an elegy or serious reflection of say, the tiny bits of mercury that rise and fall like the seasons and the tide, which range from warm to cool—and still, another year has … | Continue reading
I understand when you tell me how you’ve waited for so long, or how you’ve waited for tomorrow to come, but then you woke up, just to realize that tomorrow never showed up. At least, not the way you thought it would.I understand what it means to make plans. I suppose we all do. E … | Continue reading
I have been coming here for years now. Then again, you already know this, at least that’s what I assume.I come here to sit with you, like this, quietly. But more than anything, I come here to motivate myself. I do this so I can start my day. Sometimes, I come here to expose mysel … | Continue reading
Life is happening. All the time.The question about this is simple. Even when the answers are unfriendly or when the answers are unlikeable, the answers are simple too. There will always be a choice. We might not like the choices. We might not favor either of them and sometimes, t … | Continue reading
I am not fit to judge. I am not better or worse than you are anyone else. I have no right to point fingers and nor am I fit to say who is righteous and who should be saved, who could be fixed, and who will always be broken.I have no time for talks like […] | Continue reading
I am writing this as note to you. Then again, all of my notes are to you.So, I’m not sure if this is a note or if this is a moment of clarity or a moment of awareness, or maybe this is a mission statement.yes. That’s it. This is all of the above. There are […] | Continue reading
I suppose the future can start once the past is gone. So, what does that mean?I suppose that means this moment is more important than we think.So, here I am world, just waiting for the next big thing to come along and grab me by the hand, and off we can go at the drop […] | Continue reading
Maybe this is just me rambling. Or maybe this is a rant.Or maybe I’ve been inspired to get back to my hopes and dreams and perhaps this is a call for me to get back to the work I love. I used to tell people that I have two jobs.One job pays my bills.The other […] | Continue reading
Waves come in to hit the shore.I love it this way, the beach in the wintertime, and the cold air, the blue sky and the bright sun, which is high and full but the winds are cold—but not to me. No, I suppose this is the warmest place I can think of.The beach in wintertime […] | Continue reading
I call this journal Random, Aimless and Unplanned because I have no agenda. I just write what on my mind or from the gut, so they say.My entries are more of a subconscious flow. This means I’m not thinking about what I’m saying. I’m not worrying about the critics or their meaning … | Continue reading
The bottom line is you have to live. There really is no secret.You have to do this because there really is no other choice. Well, maybe there is another choice but what kind of life is that? There are two kind of lives–the life you want and the life you have.I know what I want. [ … | Continue reading
First light appears in the Sunday morning sky, and I am new again. I am brand new in fact. Nothing about me is the same as yesterday.Or perhaps I should say that in the hands of the Universe, nothing about today is the same as it was. The winds do not blow from the same […] | Continue reading
There is a dream I have that has been reoccurring since my early youth. The dream itself is neither odd nor haunting but more, this dream occurs whenever change is on the way.I am a boy in this dream and as small as I was when this dream happened for the first time, which, in […] | Continue reading
Who would have thought that I would be here, as in where I am now, or more to the point, who would have thought that I would make it this far?Go figure . . .But I have to say itAge—It’s a funny thing.I think about the stories from my youth. I thing about the authority […] | Continue reading
It’s been a while since I opened up to you like this. Or perhaps I should explain this to you differently. I understand that letters from me to you, as in myself, do not come the same as they used to. Then again, nothing is the same as it used to be.This is me. Just […] | Continue reading
It is far from me now, the times of tomorrow, and the dreams or the wheels that are in motion and yes, I am far from where I had hoped to be. But I’m on my way.I know I am. It’s far now, as far as physical distance may be. Or perhaps the distance between […] | Continue reading
Not everything was so bad.You know? I think about the association of smell and the times from say, when I was younger and the springtime came around. I remember the smell from a honeysuckle bush in the yard of someone from the neighborhood. And yes, maybe I could have called this … | Continue reading