The anniversary of the date has come and gone. And do you know what? This is the way life goes. Minutes add up to become hours and hours become days.Days become weeks, and weeks become months and months become years.Year . . . can you believe that?There is nothing as unstoppable … | Continue reading
There was something inside of me, or something in me that was aware.Understand?There was something that knew a day would come when I would look back and remember this.But I would see this in hindsight and notice the flags that stuck out.I do believe in the inherent foreshadowing … | Continue reading
I don’t know when it was that everything changed. Then again, like a child grows, or like anything else in this world, something small can grow pretty big. And then one day, you look back. You realize the world moved right beneath your feet. Or maybe you wake up to the idea that … | Continue reading
I suppose, of course, the saying is true. If you don’t know, then you just don’t know. Then, of course, what do I know? I remember walking through my little town, safe in my own self-destruction, and isolated away from the rest of the world. This was me, a tiny trooper, caught up … | Continue reading
And first, it was rock and classic songs that were known and sung by the generation before mine. I was as young as they come and too new and unaware of what I was about to open.But I was ready.I say the word “open” as if to open a sacred box, quite opposite from Pandora, […] | Continue reading
I don’t believe anything can stay the way it is forever. Then again, forever is a very long time. And so is never. So, who knows?There is something though . . . There is something ongoing and constant, like the movement of time, which is us, which is the fact that we exist, —at l … | Continue reading
There was the idea of going back to relive a day in your life, exactly as it was, and without changing a thing. I first read about this idea when I was reading a book by Robert Fulghum.I never forgot this idea. However, I was much younger when I read about this. I was a […] | Continue reading
This one is not for me. No, this is for the young man who I spoke with about the semicolon tattoo. At the same time, no, this one is for me.Or at minimum, this one is from me to you because yes, there is a great big world out there, I have learned that not […] | Continue reading
I remember the first time I walked inside of a machine room for the first time. I was about to embark on a change that would be bigger than I assumed.I was previously a salesman. Better yet, I was a kid in a suit and tie and too baby-faced, too wet behind the ears and […] | Continue reading
Ah, the City. She looks different to me now. At the same time, my City has been there with me through every change, every win, every downfall, and every rebound.I have been here and lived here throughout the different stages of my life.I love her.My City.It has been a while since … | Continue reading
I have dreams about places from the days called way back. I have dreams about my old childhood home. I often dream about the playgrounds and schoolyards in my town. I have a dream about being on the roof of my grade school. And of course, everything looks the way it did, way back … | Continue reading
It would appear to me that the dignity of things has changed.I remember being a boy.I remember sports on regular television. Do you? I remember the days before major sporting events were on pay-per-view. And I have to say it now, loud and clear, the price to see these major sport … | Continue reading
Life is different now. Or maybe nothing is different, per se, and the only thing that’s changed is my relation to the morning or the hours in which I go to sleep.I am an early riser, of course. Then again, I have never been a late sleeper. Then again, there was a phase of my […] | Continue reading
I understand this now. I understand why it is said that youth is wasted on the young.Or moreover, I understand why people would say, if I only knew what I know now, my life would be completely different.Of course it would be.I understand why I used to believe that the future was … | Continue reading
Of course, I would like to go back.I’d love to go back to the days when music still meant something. I want to go back to the days when shows and music festivals were these big occasions. Youth was youth. The times were the times.Everyone was outside, and the world was alive and … | Continue reading
Not everything about the past is split between good or bad. Of course, there are memories and of course there are times that we keep close to the heart. And, too, there are times when I look back, and I wonder how I made it out alive.How do people make it through their adversity? … | Continue reading
I have to say that nothing looks the same as it did when we were younger. Most of the places we went to have all been closed and sadly, I am at an age when I realize the truth of mortality.I thought about this while speaking with the owner of a pet store the other […] | Continue reading
I remember talking to a group of young people. This was something that happened after a classroom presentation. I was asked if it is painful to be me?My answer is simple.Is it painful to be anybody? Am I so different?Are you or is anyone else? Everyone has their own crosses to be … | Continue reading
I remember the unofficial start of summer. I remember the trips out east and to the Hamptons and the nights when I slept in cars because I couldn’t get a place to stay or I didn’t have enough money to pay for a room.I remember the beaches which were always beautiful. However, and … | Continue reading
I tried to fit in for way too long. I tried to stand right or lean right. I tried my best to look the way I thought I was supposed to look.If I were to be able to redo or go back and start over, I would look make my own way.It’s crazy to think […] | Continue reading
It seems to me that we live in a world of gadgets and gizmos. Everything seems to be about technology, applications, smart phones, smart watches, face-times, and video evidence of literally everything we see around us. We have street cameras that detect our speeds—and trust me, I … | Continue reading
I hear the questions about our past or the ones that ask, if you woke up and it was back in the 90’s, what would you do?I love these questions. And I love them for different reasons.I’ve written journals about this before. And since I love the taste of nostalgia, and since I love … | Continue reading
I think I will close with this – Everyone has their moments. Everyone has a time which if they could, they would go back to, or better yet, I have seen questions on social media, which ask if this this were the 90’s, or if you could go back in time, or back before there […] | Continue reading
I often go back to the famous quote by Anne Frank, which is something that I had heard about when I was younger. However, I was too caught up in the angst of my youth and my resentments to realize that I might not forget what happened, and I might not forget who or what […] | Continue reading
What is this?What are we working for? A house? A car?Are we working to have a special life?But more, are we happy with what we have?What does it mean to have a good quality of life? I wonder about these things.When is enough, enough?When can we sit back, or when do we get to say, … | Continue reading
I am going to treat this entry like it’s not a journal entry, but more, I’m going to treat this like a conversation between two people.Better yet, I’m going to treat this like it was when we were kids, just a boy and a girl, on the phone, late at night, and capable of talking […] | Continue reading
I get in and start the car.I love it like this. No one is on the road. The sun is just about to come up and the sky is about to change. I love the way my mind shuts down for the moment, which is not to say that I am not paying attention.Of course, […] | Continue reading
I suppose I never looked at my elders as people. Or maybe I should say that I never realized that my parents were people too, which is interesting, and obvious, but at the same time, and perhaps I am not alone with this, I look at my parents, good or bad, faults and flaws, and [… … | Continue reading
I was young. I was inexperienced. Then again, I was just a kid.I had no idea about the meaning behind the word “manhood.” And yet, I posed, and I postured, and I played and I would pretend, and yes, I acted like I knew or like I was unafraid. But what else could I do?I […] | Continue reading
Thoughts have a way of becoming real. I know this. And so do you. Or at least, I think you do. We can think ourselves into hysteria. I know this is true because I can see this in myself.However, if this is true, then it must be true that we an think ourselves into a […] | Continue reading
I agree with the idea that nothing is ever exactly the same. And even more, I agree with the opinion that says no two people are exactly the same. I agree that each person has their own way of seeing things, and each person has their own DNA, their own feelings, biases, experienc … | Continue reading
Nothing worthwhile is going to come easy. This means that if it’s worthy, then you’ll have to work for it.Do you want a house?Good. Want a nice car?Good.Me too.This means that you’ll spend more time working for the house and the car and the life you want. In all honesty, you’re g … | Continue reading
I love my Sundays. I love my early morning rituals and the preparation for the meals I make for the week. I share, which I think is a good thing. I think sharing a meal is one of the kindest things we can do for each other. And I understand that not all people share […] | Continue reading
I was lying down, tired as usual, and looking at the flat white ceiling in the middle of the night. I was thinking about millions of ideas. Of course, none of these ideas were unhelpful to my mission at hand, which was to sleep, or at minimum, at least I could relax until my alar … | Continue reading
I am not more out of my mind than anyone else is. Or maybe I am. Maybe I’m as crazy as they come. Or maybe the saying is true, that crazy people never know they’re crazy, and more as a side note, stupid people never assume they’re stupid either. No, they think they’re smart.Maybe … | Continue reading
I guess we can enter this one as a note to self.Am I right?After all, that’s wat this is, right?This is a not to self. The ideas behind my journals and the notes that I used to hide because I was too afraid to tell anyone about this or my secret poems, which I would […] | Continue reading
I often dream about days when I was young or times that were either pivotal or somehow spiritually influential to me. I dream of these moments as if the fold in time was pressed down like the corners in the book of my memory.I have reoccurring dreams from moments, like, say, the … | Continue reading
I don’t know when or why. And I might not understand how things happen or when the switch takes place. All I know is I am not the same as I was. I know that I do not see things the same way nor do I feel the same as I did. I have aged. […] | Continue reading
I want to come home. But first, I have to define what my home is.I want to feel that feeling as if I have arrived, as if my trip has been so long and tiresome and yet, as soon as I hit the door; I instantly forget the pains and the strains of my uphill […] | Continue reading
Today is my day to shut off the world. I put on some music and then I start the process of what I’ll cook for the week. I do this for more reasons than to feed myself. In fact, i see this as life saving. I suppose I do this to keep sane or to […] | Continue reading
It is dawn, early, and yes, I find myself at dawning times. This is all new as can be, like a fresh breath as I approach uncharted times and the unknown future is about to be reborn, at least, in some respects.This is nothing new or so different. I have not changed so drastically … | Continue reading
I keep these notes here to keep my sanity. And sometimes, I keep them to remind me of who I was or who I am. And other times, I remind myself that this is all live and on stage. This is a process and this life, unfolding. I keep them to keep my heart intact […] | Continue reading
Afternoon, and the sky takes on the last dance before sunset, The colors from the horizon begin to glow with an orange grace, peaceful and gentle, as if it could only be during the quiet reprieve of a Sunday evening.The hues of golden lights beam down from the sky across the land … | Continue reading
What do you say to someone who saw everything? Yet they were never there. But somehow, they knew, or they saw without seeing, and more, how does the Universe know to cross our paths or how to keep us together, even if we are too stupid to follow the light?How do people like this … | Continue reading
And then?one day became two and two became four. And the more I moved, the farther I was from what happened and what took place. I have been here before, at the base of my own rebuilding pr reconstruction.No one asks to have to go back to the beginning. But no one realizes that l … | Continue reading
The world has a way of putting us where we are supposed to be. I really believe this. Or, at least, I want to.I know this has to be the case. Otherwise, the randomness of meeting someone would be nothing else, but happenstance, and in the case of fate and destiny, I choose to bel … | Continue reading
There are times, like now, when all I can do is let go of the tasks and the thoughts. And all I can do is unwind or surrender, and more to the point; sometimes, I can redefine my sanity by unleashing my thoughts in a form or streaming consciousness. Then again, sometimes, we have … | Continue reading
There is nothing better than an early sunrise. I see this as a valuable moment in time, awake, and away from everyone else in the world, and to sit here, like this, and be a witness to the start of a brand-new day. I love it when the sky changes in the morning. I love […] | Continue reading