I don’t mind the rain. I don’t mind the storms that come out of nowhere, or the thunderstorms that rumble nor am I frightened by the lightening. I say we need them sometimes. I say the rain can be a good thing, and that yes, sometimes, life builds up pressure, and sometimes the p … | Continue reading
Today is a day that’s been growing for 34 years, which does not mean that today is different from any day—at least, not really. There will always be a morning, noon, and night.This will always be so.I remember being a kid and learning how to tie my shoelaces. I remember how this … | Continue reading
I found myself back at a place where I had sworn to never return, and yet, there I was. Back in the ot seat and back in the den of a club that kills us all.And do you know what? The club is still there, and still alive. Nothing was different, except for the corners […] | Continue reading
Then again, of course, this is the real world. And of course, no one wants to talk about the obvious problems. No one wants to to talk about the elephant in the room. No one wants to mention the unfortunate truths, or perhaps, maybe if we turn our heads or avert our eyes, maybe t … | Continue reading
There is a big world out there, far beyond what we see or what we think. There is so much more than what we see on the surface. There are people who come from everywhere and there there are people of different color, different backgrounds, and some people will speak different lan … | Continue reading
I am up before the sun. I suppose this is not so unusual for me. However, I am awake, especially early today and waiting on the morning’s first light to come from the east. I can hear the wind blowing through the palm trees outside of my temporary stay near the beach. I have come … | Continue reading
I should tell you that this journal is no different from any of the journals or notes that I have written to you. Each one is inspired by some kind of life-changing event or an eye-opening moment. And yes, this journal is no different.There is a reason for my thoughts and my idea … | Continue reading
Safe to say that we might need to remove ourselves from the equation to understand the math of what’s going on. Safe to say that hindsight is not aways kind, and yes, it is sufficient to say that awareness takes time, and even still, no matter how aware we are, awareness has more … | Continue reading
Sometimes, it’s enough to stand up on your own two feet. And sometimes, it’s enough to take a walk and get away for a while, just to see the world from a different point of view.I think it’s important to change our perspective and update our thinking, so we can grow. I can think … | Continue reading
I am a man of many words. At the same time, I find it easier to speak with you here, and without the intrusion of fear or the worries that come with overthinking.I am a man who can write what I think and get my point across. At least, I like to think I am. […] | Continue reading
I remember back when we were growing up and trying to pretend to be bigger, or cooler than who we were. But I was never cool, or comfortable.I remember the games we used to play or the things we used to do, or say. I remember the ways we used to act or how we […] | Continue reading
I am here to witness another sunrise in purgatory. Neither I nor you nor anyone else can do anything about the times behind us. Yesterday is gone. Am I right?Neither you nor I live there anymore.All we have is right now, and right now is good enough to make the next round a bette … | Continue reading
What does it mean to live? Or better what does it mean to have a life beyond the typical ideas of say, a house or a home? Or how about what is life beyond the size of our bedroom, or to have a place to sleep, or something to eat or drink, or as the […] | Continue reading
Before moving forward into anything else, I think it is only accurate to report that as I start my morning, or as I begin my day, earlier than the sun, head still heavy from an up and down sleep, body somewhat sore from life’s terms and an empty belly before breakfast, I must rec … | Continue reading
And so, yeah, I did “a thing,” or something happened, or I have some things that have some value. “A thing” is like a figure of speech to me, or maybe this is more like a New York City thing. I don’t know.However, I do believe that we are a society and a world defined […] | Continue reading
I used to know a life coach who was very special to me. He and I lost touch over the years, but his lessons have stuck with me. They’ve inspired me as well.I can say a lot about this man, but this entry is not about him.No.At least, not today.I remember the coach telling me […] | Continue reading
If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, I suppose my biggest lesson in about the way time keeps moving. I swear, it’s a trip!Days keep adding, and before we realize it, yesterday is long gone and so are the chances that came with it. I can remember people tellin … | Continue reading
I am someone who has lived what I could call a normal, everyday, and unusual life. Therefore, what I have seen, heard, lived through, and all that I have experienced is unique and subjective to me. I know this.I have my own way and my own style, or like anyone else in this world, … | Continue reading
188) And so,I, being of sound mind and memory,do hereby make,publish and declare thisto be my will and going further,I also make, publishand declare thisto act as a testimonyof my life, my past,my mistakesand without regardfor the uncertaintyof my future and going forward, I do h … | Continue reading
183) I am sitting in a new seatin an old familiar place,crazy as possiblejust to keep myself sane;and yet, I am where I amwhich is no different from the lastor the previous spotsin my life. I am a worker, humbled by circumstancesand a provider, if allowed to beand yet, I am sitti … | Continue reading
180) Today begins with a perfect number,and dare I say itdespite the flaws,this world is a perfect place,and since I did say this,then I have to saythat life is a beautiful thing. Amen We get lost sometimes,or worried that we’llnever touch the things we want the most.Or perhaps w … | Continue reading
177) I think to myselfwhat are the chances?What are the odds? What is the chancethat someone like mecan get to where I want to be,or even more,what will give me the mindsetor the edgethat allows me to withstand and endure,and more than anything else,what’s the chance that I canma … | Continue reading
173) I never read my old journals,or look back, or more to the pointafter I hit the magic “send” button,my aim is to let this go, or publish,or send my thoughts elsewhere;as if to take on an actionof letting go or rid myself from the unwanted itemsin my heart, or as a meansto rel … | Continue reading
170) I suppose the word “if”is much bigger thana word with two letters.I suppose that the word “if”is something in whichwe hinge upon the either/oras in . . . if this, or that, and yes,I suppose in this casethe word “if” is and can belarger than the universebecause whatever isor … | Continue reading
166) The bottom line is this:always be youor at risk of upsetting the grammar gods,never not be youno matter whatyou shouldalways be yourself. Even at risk of misfortuneor at risk of exposureor even in the face of painor even when the worldis opposed or opposite,or when the peopl … | Continue reading
163) I say this to you nowand I will say this againonly this timeI am going to say thisin different partsand in different waysto get my point across. I am and I will always bea fan of nostalgia.I am a fan of the feelingthat comes acrosswhen driving aloneearly in the morningand li … | Continue reading
162) Let’s call this a toastor call this somethingor let me call this nothing else but a reflection of my respect.or let’s call it what it isso we can leave it at thatand get on with it. I raise my glass to thoseor to them who remain unafraidand I raise my glass to thosewho remai … | Continue reading
159) You need the rain,sometimes,because sometimes,you need a dayto sit backand let the gray skydo its trick. You need the rainto wash away the subtleand not-so-subtle debrisof our crazy little lives,or perhapsthis is a sign of my agecreeping inand as I share my appreciationfor a … | Continue reading
156) I have a question,and the question is simple.Is it naive to be optimistic,or is it foolish to be hopefulin hopeless times? I wonder . . . And I ask this honestlyand openly, and maybeI ask this almost childishly,because,maybe the idea of being hopefulis a childish thing—or ma … | Continue reading
152) We need to moveand at the same timewe need to pay attentionto the direction,as in where do we want to go?How do we want to get there? Which way do we want to head first,when do we want to start,and what are we willing to doto get where we want to be? I think […] | Continue reading
148) I go back to that sayingwhich I agree withand to which I have heardthis often enough that I laughbecause I often forget,and in my forgetfulness, I argue with the irrationalitieswhich we both faceon a frequent basis. The saying goes,never in the historyof calming downhas anyb … | Continue reading
144) The way I see it is –you have to lose yourselfin something, otherwise,you can lose yourselfto everything,if you know what I mean. I remember backwhen my friend Mitchonce told me,don’t play that movie outin your head—and he was right. It is easy to think your way to insanity, … | Continue reading
141) There is something about the sting of purity,like how the cleaner stings the cutor like when Mom wipes the cottonacross a scraped knee,and it burns . . .or like, when they wiped the cutI got the first time I had to get stitches –and I remember, even when I was youngerabout h … | Continue reading
140) Just one, for today.But I need this one.I need to be remindedthat there is more to methan I see,and soI need to understandthat I am not the sum of my fearsor the limitations of a so-called sicknessnor am I less or moresimply because of my challengeswith social, economical,an … | Continue reading
137) Think about thisand for the moment,I will keep thisas brief as I can,but think about your defining momentand what you want this to be. Think about your momentin the bright lightsand the award goes to . . .and there you arethe recipient of somethingmore amazing than you ever … | Continue reading
133) It is crazy to sayor to think aboutor to realizeand at the same time,no one knows who theyto someone else. I have no ideawhat the concept of touch feels likefrom your handand, at the same timeI cannot see colorfrom your perspectiveor know the comfort of soundto your ears,or … | Continue reading
130) What is it?What makes you thump?What makes your heartbeat morethan say, just a little faster?Or better yet,what blows your hair back,or what puts the feelingin your soul,like, say, the kind that gives youa reason to stand up and shout,or better yet,when was the last timeyou … | Continue reading
127) I often find methinking about the summertime in fallor the winter in springor how the seasons somehowoverlap and leave behind a moodor a feeling, which leavesbehind memories of timesthat came around oncebut there will never beagain. Take the summer,for example, or think abou … | Continue reading
123) It is crazy to say thatI am of sound mind,and it is even more crazyto say that I do not slipor fall from the wall,or it would be a lie to saythat I do notfly off the handleor lose control. However,I believe that I am humanand even more,I am someone who understands what happe … | Continue reading
120) For all it’s worthI have always wanted to besomething colorful –you know?I have always wanted to besomeone beautifulbut not deceivingor deceptive to the eyewhereas,I have always wanted to be good,or someone to knowas in,I have always wanted to besomeone to be proud ofor some … | Continue reading
115) I think of the words I once wroteto someone who shared their wordswith me,.I think about the braveryit takesto show someone your truthand to hold yourselfout thereabove the firesand say, yeahthis is me. I used to get messagesfrom people who lived hard livesor from those who … | Continue reading
110) I see them differently, and perhapsthis is what makes a differencewhen we speak.Either way,I do not look up nor down,and nor am I better,or worse. I am only me,a man, a searcher,a traveler, and a person,and so,I am as imperfect as anyone else,and yet, I am hired to speakor t … | Continue reading
106) I am askedWhy?Why do I do this?Or, why do I come hereevery morning,or why do I keep coming backwhen sometimes, coming backcan be lonelyor unforgiving, unfruitful,and why do I keep coming back toan unyielding seriesof thoughts, feelingsand a blend of relentlessinsecurities th … | Continue reading
102) Nothing is what it used to bethen againmaybe nothing is supposed to bewhat it used to bebecause nothing would bewhat it’s supposed to be now,if it wasand, so,maybe now is just a timeor a moment of awareness, as intoday is just like another sessionin the schoolwhich we call l … | Continue reading
97) I love early morning drives.I love them just beforethe sunrise,and I love howthe sun comes up from the Eastwhich is just behind meand I can see the sunrise mirroredon the reflecting windowson the eastern facades of the buildingson the other sideof the 59th Street Bridge. I lo … | Continue reading
94) I believe in the benefitof what I call,an honest assessmentso that at the end of the dayI can come to a constructive conclusionlike itor not . . . In fairness,I am not sure aboutthe exceptions to the rulenor am I sure aboutthe fool who claims to be king. Then again,in the lan … | Continue reading
91) And we go backto where the bullets hit the skyand back to where the violence comesfrom the sum of out ignorance,multiplied by fearand subtracting usfrom the one thingthat means the most to us.We go back too farand we go back to before the things we bargained forhad worthor ma … | Continue reading
88) Today is about love,also known as Valentine’s Dayhowever, my love is not limitedto one day, nor is my lovelimited at all, not should it be.No, my love is not alignedwith someunrealistic versionof what love is, or isn’t,nor is my love limited to a commercialized viewof what lo … | Continue reading