At Least It's Not A Land War In Asia

My favorite part is how it's written BELOW the picture.   | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Fetch Me A Hammer, 'Cuz I'm Gonna NAIL THIS

I just realized that the term "nailed it!" can have two meanings. Well, three. But despite my naughty word outburst yesterday, this IS still a mostly family-friendly establishment, and the third meaning is a little TOO family-friendly, IF you KNOW what I'm SAYING. Sorry, my caps … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

GET ME A UNICORN CHASER! (Oh. Wait.)

[Note: Today's post contains a mildly bad word, because I put it in to make John laugh and then he said it was too funny to take out. Please parent accordingly.] According to Urban Dictionary, a unicorn chaser is anything that "serves as a cleansing of the palate after a viewer … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Sunday Sweets Goes To The Beach

There's 104 days of summer vacation And school comes along just to end it So the annual problem for our generation Is finding a good way to spennnnd it... | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Great Expectations

It's been a while since we compared the pictures in the order book to what you  actually  get from a bakery, so let's mosey on through those rose gardens of hope into the harsh, sweat-stained armpits of reality, shall we?   What you order: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Six Hilariously Wrong Wedding Cake Monograms

Not everyone is fully fluent in text speak and common abbreviations, so let's cut these couples a little slack, mkay? Right after we finish laughing, I mean. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Happy Birthday, White Guy!

Sarah C. writes,  " I was answering a hundred questions while ordering the cake for my husband, Guy's, birthday. 'Cake?' 'Yellow.' 'Icing?' 'Buttercream.' 'What do you want it to say?' 'Happy Birthday, Guy.' 'What color do you want that written in?' … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

A Publix Service Announcement

Dear Publix Bakery, My name is john, and we need to talk. See, I like you. I really do. Your icing? Awesome. Your cheesecake pies? Beyond nummy. And every time I cruise your aisles at my local store there's nary a wreck to be found. UNTIL NOW. Exhibit A: A few weeks ago, I re … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

My New Favorite Wedding Cake

Roses are red, Butterflies are blue, Um... Pardon me, but are those  sperm  on your wedding cake? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Sunday Sweets: Jim Henson Tribute

Today we’re celebrating Jim Henson with some Sweets featuring his most famous friends: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Estonian Kissing Day

According to The Repository Of All Knowledge And Wisdom In Our World (aka, Wikipedia) today might be a Valentines-ish type of day in some remote corner of the world or potential worlds. In fact, I'm almost 63% sure that today is, in fact, "Kissing Day" in the western region of Es … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Move Over, Hallmark

Tired of the same ol' "Happy Birthday"s, "Congraderaultions", and "I Want Sprinkles?" Then consider  these  inspiring sentiments the next time you order a cake. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Blowing in the Wind

How many times must a baker be told, "Don't pipe 'flowers' where flowers belong?" | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Window Pain

Bakers, in case it's been a while, this is your friendly reminder to go ahead and spruce up those window display cakes. After all, without them the customers might have to rely solely on your signage to evaluate your baking skills: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Gootchie Goos

Last week we had some friends visiting with their new baby. Jen and I don't have kids - not unless you count the kind with claws and hairballs - so being around a lil' diaper potato has put me in a baby kind of mood. Granted, I'm as seedless as a bag of lettuce*, but indulge me, … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Sunday Sweets For My Dad

We all know dads' tastes are just as diverse as, well, non -dads, so when it came time to choose today's Sweets I decided to hone in on one specific dad: mine. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

A Cinderella Story

You're never too old to imagine your own Princess Diaries moment, right? And mine goes something a little like this : [harpsichord dream sequence music plays] First, there's a whirlwind romance with the dashing stranger who looks like a cross between Nathan Fillion and Kief … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Love Hurts

As misunderstandings go, I'm not sure you can do much worse mangling the phrase "Getting hitched!" for an engagement party than this : | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Paper View

Edible paper.  Edible paper.  EDIBLE PAPER!! Amaze your friends! Astound your coworkers! All you need is... EDIBLE PAPER!!! (The following message is brought to you by the National Board of Edible Paper and Non-edible Babies.) Hey there, baker! Lonely sheet cakes got … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Dear Go d, the Irony

Let's just hope they majored in Creative Writing. Thanks to Cynthia for the cc! ***** P.S. Wrecks that are THIS bad always make me think of this shirt: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Rein in the Clowns

WARNING: Parents, there be funny business ahead! Bakers, will someone  please  get a handle on these clown cakes? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Sunday Sweets: Boredom Busters

Bored? How can you  possibly  be bored? School's only been out three weeks! Well, why don't you read a book? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

The Words Get In The Way

My friends, there's an epidemic sweeping our nation's bakeries that I think you should know about:  SPATIAL AWARENESS DISORDER. And believe me, it's SAD. It starts innocently enough. First you might notice a few odd gaps in their writing: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Let's Wrap It Up

Friends, acquaintances,  decorators . There is a new bakery trend arising. One that's making me SICK. And also kind of excited. Mostly sick. But sort of excited. The trend? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Expectation Vs. Reality

Sometimes, you have a specific item you want replicated in cake. You know, like a camcorder. (Really?) | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Because Patience and Kindness are Overrated

I didn't think it'd been  that  long since my wedding reception, but apparently I'm already behind the times. Used to be, folks just clinked their glasses any time they wanted the happy couple to kiss. Now I see bakers are taking it a step further: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Artsy Fartsy

[adjusting bow tie] "Welcome, gentle beings, to the grand opening of  SplüüRff . [faint applause] "All of our works here tonight have been created by world-renowned artists, and are available for sale for far more than you can possibly afford. So, let's begin. "Our firs … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Sunday Sweets: A Disney Movie Marathon, Part 2

Ok, so let's get back to our classic Disney movie marathon! | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Save The Cakes

Did you know that, every day, thousands of cakes go unpurchased ? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Tae Kwon "DO'H"

Approach, students. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along this tale of Wreckage, but first I should mention that little Kyle here is taking Tae Kwon Do: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Giving Wrecks A Bad Name

Parents, if you don't want to risk bruised feelings on their birthdays, I suggest you NOT name any of your children "Cubby": | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

HaiCakes!

Sometimes I find a wreck or two that makes me feel all poetical and stuff. These...[dramatic pause]... are those wrecks. | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Memorial Pride

If tomorrow all the cakes were gone I'd posted on this blog And I had to start again With just this patriotic dog: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Sunday Sweets: 11 Bright & Bold Cakes For Spring

Forget May showers; whaddaya say we bust out some sweet flowers ? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

It's Getting Hot In Here...

Today is Heat Awareness Day, so pay attention; this is important. It's hot.* *Not applicable in the majority of the North Eastern United States. Or the North Western parts. Or Canada. Or England. Or Australia. Or really anywhere else that isn't Florida right now. And now, … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Princess Show & Sell

The princesses are back, eager to show you their new castle! | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Leggo My Logo

Susan S. ordered a birthday cake with the Ohio State logo on it, which looks like this: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Summer "Lovin'"

I don't really keep up with you young whippersnappers' schedules, but going by the cakes coming in I'm guessing summer vacation is starting up. Soooo...   Hey, hoopy froods, school's is out for summer!! | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

The Seven Stages of Wrecks

Remember, my friends: recognizing the stages is the first step to healing. Shock or Disbelief: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Sunday Sweets: 80s Movie Night

What's that you say? You want a Sunday Sweets post based on the greatest movies of all time? Or at least, the greatest movies of the '80s? | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Spit Take

"You know what? On second thought, I'm really not all that hungry." | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Paper Reams

There are very, VERY few non-wrecky uses for edible photo paper, my friends. So if you're going to make your guests gum their way through all that ink and extra fiber, at  least  make sure it looks cool.  You know, (not) like this: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Hump Day Hoedown

When your mom's a proud Texan celebrating her 64th birthday, you might think ordering a cake that says, "Happy Birthday, Cowgirl!" is a good idea. And maybe it is, IF your baker writes it down right: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Inside The Twisted Mind Of john

And so I says to her, I says, "Hey lady! Let me give you a HAND with that!" | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

If The Shoe Fits...

...then you for SURE won't be getting far in it: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

Sunday Sweets: Bridal Showers

Excuse me! Attention, everyone! I'd like to make a toast to my best friend, the beautiful bride-to-be. She may have kissed a lot of frogs in the past... | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

The Good, The Bad, And The Wrecky

The Good: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago

You Got It, Boss

Hey, Anony M., YOU'RE WELCOME. ***** P.S. This backpack is judging us all right now, but it's so cute I'm OK with that: | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 3 years ago