Egads, can you believe Christmas is this Wednesday?! Don't focus on all that stuff you still have to do and buy and organize, though. Instead, let's just take a mini vacation, right here in this post. So, take a deep breath, clear your mind... (By Vaganova Alina) AND LOOK HOW CUT … | Continue reading
I feel like bakers are trying to tell us something, you guys. I'm just not sure WHAT. Speak to me, Deadpan Penguin! What is it? What's wrong? Is a festive volcano about to blow? Are alien body-snatchers among us? Adult acne? More than some of us may hypothetically already have? M … | Continue reading
It's a Christmas Creep-Off! Hit us with your best shots, bakers! Oooh, now that's creepy. But this is creepier. [shudder] AAAAAUUGHH! I mean, er, points for finding a way to make a candy cane look like it's made from someone's collection of skin suits, bakers. That's... that's re … | Continue reading
(Mildly NSFW stuff ahead. Beware!) After you see enough cake wrecks, you can start to get the impression that individual cupcakes are a safe bet. OH CONTRAIRE MONTRAIRE. (I think some of those might be words. WHAT.) Behold! The ghosts of cupcakes past! And a random pile of poo! A … | Continue reading
I will now illustrate the first 7 stages of getting a sinus infection... using monkey cakes. Like ya do. Stage 1) Hey, my head kind of hurts - but I'm sure everything's fiiiiiine. Watch me do some improbable leg stretches! Stage 2) Wow, this headache is getting particularly stabb … | Continue reading
Someone... is watching: But it's not Santa. He could be in your basement. He could be in your room. But most likely... HE'S IN YOUR BAKERY. "Diet soda? You know how bad that stuff is for you?" So run, run, run, as fast as you can: Because these snowmen: are out FOR BLOOD: [Wilhel … | Continue reading
You may have noticed Christmas is coming, minions, bringing stress and sweets, great wonder and worry. Every year I tell myself THIS will be the Hallmark year, and every year I look around on January 1st, bewildered, wondering where the month went. I think the key is savoring the … | Continue reading
What's Friday the 13th without some unintentionally creepalicious treats? So bakers, take it away! [blood-curdling shriek] No, seriously, bakers: TAKE IT AWAY. Thanks to Amanda W., Jessica N., Stephanie M., Liz P., Anony M., Meghan W., & Kate B. for reminding us our days are numb … | Continue reading
Bakers, we need to talk. Please, have a seat. [waits while 15,000 bakers find chairs] I thought we might try something new today. It's called "refusing an order," and it's made up of 5 simple words: "Sorry, I can't make that." Easy, right? Let's practice. I'll be the customer. Hi … | Continue reading
This holiday season, get ready, FOR... THE CARNAGE THE MAYHEM THE SADNESS ALSO THIS THING MAYBE A LITTLE OF THIS: AND... CHICKEN. SALAD. SNOWMEN With candy canes. Thanks to Ann R., Susanna T., Danielle P., Abby G., Patrick T., & Pam H. for tossing that one in. ***** P.S. Here's s … | Continue reading
And now, since we just watched Zootopia again and I love it so much, it's time for... John Reacts To Animal Cakes With Zootopia GIFs! ***** It's a wedding cake. ***** And this next one was for a vow renewal, if you can believe it: ***** Um... **** Then there's this: Yes. YES IT D … | Continue reading
♫ It's beginning to look a lot like ♪ !!! Ev'rywhere you go Take a look at that blog by Jen It's pushing out wrecks again With "candy canes" And snowman sprains, oh no! It's beginning to look a lot like !!!! Balls on ev'ry tree But the wreckiest sight you'll find Are the Santas t … | Continue reading
There's a place for casual elegance, but sometimes you want something a little more... elaborate. Something bold, something over-the-top. Something that grabs your eyeballs by the collar and slaps 'em around a bit - in a good way. You know, like this: (By Tran Linh) BOOYAH. So go … | Continue reading
Wait, wait, I've got this. I'm going with: Mr. Mustard... ...in the doghouse... ...at a Baby Shower... ...when a Royal Coachman showed up... ...with a ...uh...buzzsaw?... And said, Did I win? Thanks to Susan N., Persimmon M., Melissa C., Kathleen B., Christiana F., and Bonnie Lou … | Continue reading
Famous movie quotes paired with Cake Wrecks? Why, that's: "Elementary, my dear Watson!" So... "Come play with us, Danny!" "Come play with us... forever... and ever... and ever." "If you build it, he will come." He swings, he scores! "You can't HANDLE the truth!" ...your what? YOU … | Continue reading
We all know asking a bakery to match a cake photo you brought in is inviting disaster, but what about the photos in their own order book? SURELY they can match those, right? [poker face] [lip quiver] BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA! Heehee! Hoo! Heh. Aheh. Heh. [wiping eyes] S … | Continue reading
THREE IS THE NUMBER THOU SHALT COUNT. And this three is the number thou shalt bake. (It is a nice three; I like the cake board especially.) Now.... GO! NI! I mean, NOOOO! Ok, enough Monty Python references. Now on to the Firefly ones! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal, ba … | Continue reading
Nana nanananananna nana nanananana naaa naa.. uh... nananana nana na na? BAT MAAAAAN! Thanks to Melody J. for ensuring we'll all have dark nightmares tonight. ***** Ok, but here comes one of the coolest gift ideas I've ever seen for a Batman fan: Leather Bat Key Fob Case How awes … | Continue reading
In case you want to try your hand at Gingerbread Greatness, I've found some gorgeous examples to inspire you. Or, if you're like me, to make you not even try, because there's no way mere mortals can do this: (By Little Wonderland) Isn't this pretty? I'm seriously considering sell … | Continue reading
Welcome, my fellow gutter-minded malcontents! Prepare to get your juvenile giggles on, because today, we are all 12-year-old boys. Oh, the irony. [insert Peter Pan joke here] "AARG! HULK TENSE! HULK... TRY RELIEVE TENSION." I bet this is the last time BJ's Wholesale Club abbrevia … | Continue reading
Happy Thanksgiving, minions! Since you might not be hanging with family today, I've decided to give you the gift that keeps on giving: Turkey Poo-Wangs. Lots and lots of Turkey Poo-Wangs. Ahh, but not just ANY Turkey Poo-Wangs; today I give you Turkey Poo-Wangs that remind you of … | Continue reading
According to Wikipedia, the cornucopia - or "horn of plenty" - is typically a hollow, horn-shaped wicker basket filled with various kinds of festive fruit and vegetables. According to Wreckerators, this is a cornucopia: Where "festive fruit and vegetables" = "neon holographic pla … | Continue reading
So Dawn W. was throwing a Wizard of Oz cast party, and she knew better than to order anything as complicated as a Yellow Brick Road cake. So instead, she simply asked for a cake with "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" on it. Now, if you've read this blog for any time at all, then you'r … | Continue reading
Let's face it, bakers: turkeys look silly. Real turkeys, I mean. SO SILLY. So in that spirit, why NOT make your turkey cakes look like a snake on a Mexican poncho? Or a volcano with a chicken beak? Or a ruffled... er... [long pause] [gratuitous side-eye] ...decorative... pillow. … | Continue reading
I've been stockpiling wedding pretties in my "to-post" folder, guys, and today is finally the day. BEHOLD! (By Cake Heart) Would you call this metallic peach, or bright copper? I'm thinking peach. Whichever, I love how light it is, and that bottom trim texture really intrigues me … | Continue reading
I'm about to make you forget what Mickey Mouse looks like. Impossible, you say? Then WATCH THIS: It's slipping away, isn't it? Is this right? Can you tell? IS THIS REAL LIFE? And finally, here's one from a vintage cake decorating book that proves they just don't make 'em like the … | Continue reading
I love a good hand-piped logo wreck. It says, "YAY TEAM!" without all that pretentious "artistry" and/or "talent." For instance, bakers, you know that maybe three people in the world could recreate this logo in buttercream: You KNOW it. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try! Re … | Continue reading
Much like land wars in Asia and dealing with your in-laws, ordering a cake is all about keeping certain information to yourself. You don't leak state secrets, you don't say you hated last Sunday's casserole, and you never, EVER, tell a baker what size to write the 75: BIG MISTAKE … | Continue reading
Last week someone in a Facebook group I belong to asked a question that made the rest of us sit up and take notice. The question was, "Does my arm look like a turkey leg?" And you guys, it totally did. It turns out this is intentional; Rachel here is dressing up as Thanksgiving D … | Continue reading
Cake Wrecks presents: Famous Wreckerators of the Past! Shakespeare: To b or not to b, that was the question. Ivan Pavlov: I don't know the dog's name, but something here is ringing a bell. Count Dracula: Yes. Yes you do. Pandora: I haven't even opened the box, and I've already lo … | Continue reading
It's Fall, y'all, which means pumpkins, pumpkins, EVERYWHERE: (With Love & Confection) I've never been a huge pumpkin pie fan, but cake? YES, PLEASE. And while orange IS my favorite color, I'm still utterly smitten with these white pumpkins: (By MadHouse Bakes) And get this: the … | Continue reading
Not everyone is fully fluent in text speak and common abbreviations, so let's cut these couples a little slack, mkay? Right after we finish laughing, I mean. (facepalmheaddesk)* *Do Not Attempt Hey, guys! You've just make the most serious vow of either of your lifetimes. OR DID Y … | Continue reading
According to my calendar, minions, this is the week we're supposed to write our letters to Santa. Which makes sense if you think about it; Santa needs time to find or make our stuff (screen-accurate Stay Puft costumes don't just grow on trees), and then our postal system needs ti … | Continue reading
"Hello? Yes, I'd like to order a cake that looks like my husband's Audi. That's right, an Audi. And could you make it a nice coppery brown? Thanks!" [Later that day] Alisha E., don't tell me that's not really what happened, because I choose to believe it is. So there. ***** Thank … | Continue reading
Technically Veterans Day was yesterday here in the U.S., but since a lot of us get today off to celebrate, CELEBRATE WE SHALL. Veterans Day is all about honoring those who have and are serving in our country's military. There are lots of great ways to do this: This is not one of … | Continue reading
It may not be rain on your wedding day, but these cakes are still a little too ironic. [grabbing microphone] HIT IT! It's like loving journalism ... but not kerning! It's a "good job" that needs some learning. It's the winner's cake that SHOULD be burning! And who would have thou … | Continue reading
I don't have a specific theme for you today, unless maybe "cakes that made Jen squee like a little girl" is a theme. Oh, it is? EXCELLENT. (By Scrum Diddly) Whoah. That bottom layer is done in a "billow weave," and this is one of the best examples I've seen. (Here's a tutorial, i … | Continue reading
I know we've all been tempted sometimes, minions, but these people actually did it. UP TOP! ON THE TRAY! IN THE FLAY! Er, flag. She meant flag. But I guess this works. And extra credit to the teacher who did NOT tell her baker where to stick it, but instead handed over a notepad … | Continue reading
And now, as a service to our readers' dieting endeavors: 7 MORE Things That Should Never Be On Cake 7. Anything that looks like a spleen Also, why is the spleen the go-to organ for icky descriptions? You never hear someone say, "Hey, that organesque thing sure looks like a gallbl … | Continue reading
Fall is officially upon us here in Florida, as evidenced by the fact that it's a blustery 78 degrees outside tonight. (Don't worry; I've already broken out the scarves, sweaters, furry boots, and electric blanket, just to be safe.) The other way you can tell it's Fall, though - b … | Continue reading
Katy P.'s father-in-law recently retired after 27 years with the fire department. Naturally, his fellow fire fighters ordered an appropriately decorated cake to celebrate: (You know what my favorite part of this Fire Department Theme cake is? The balloons.) Thanks to Katy for sho … | Continue reading
It's National Common Sense Day, minions, but how "common" is it, really? Hmmm? When your faith in reading comprehension is also (crooked) and (going down). Candice asked them to write Skye with an E. Such a shame the baker didn't have enough room to write out "birthday." OH WAIT … | Continue reading
Confession Time: as much as I love all the Sweets I feature, it's the kids' cakes that thrill me the most. From classic childhood characters: (By Alana Lily Chocolates & Cakes) ...to more modern favorites: (By Sugar Top Cakes) ...to squee-inducing cuteness I just want to snuggle: … | Continue reading
Ann ordered a beach theme cake, and asked the baker to write "Happy Birthday Lorenzo" on the ocean part. She got this: ...which has to be the first time a literal LOL actually pales in comparison to the butchered name of the birthday boy. Seriously, how do you turn "Lorenzo" into … | Continue reading
Happy Halloween, minions! Let’s go out with a bang, shall we? :D Bakeries get a lot of leeway this time of year, since Halloween is supposed to have ugly gross stuff: But there's raspberry jam soaked zombie faces, and then there's... uh... this: Took me a solid minute to figure i … | Continue reading
Barb E. asked for Navy icing: She got it. Cindy M. just wanted the initial "G" for her 14-year-old daughter - but I guess that was TOO simple? Jen and Pete asked the bakery to include paper plates and plastic silverware. Pauline ordered a cake that said, "I hate you for leaving!" … | Continue reading
Sure, Halloween gets all the hype, but did you know TONIGHT is actually the spookiest night of the year? That's right, minions, tonight... is Haunted Refrigerator Night. DUN DUN DUUUUUUN ::scream:: How do you know if your fridge is haunted? EASY. Just peek inside, and if you see … | Continue reading
Sittin' in the morning sun (oops) I like wreckin' 'til the evening comes! Stuffin' some flotsam in. Grab another cake and do it again. Yeah... I'm thinkin' they'll be dockin' my pay. I thought that's what they wanted to say! Oooo -oo -oo -ooo I'm thinkin' they'll be dockin' my pa … | Continue reading