“Gallery-goers might have been outraged not only because of the work’s simplicity—it is a 79.5-centimeter-square canvas bordered thickly in gray and white, filled in with black paint—but because it was not even a square.” - - - A rotating guest column in which writers reexamine c … | Continue reading
It was, with the somewhat unexpected return of Jadis, White Witch and Queen of Narnia and Empress of the Lone Islands, the hopes of this Editorial Board that Queen Jadis’s second reign would be marked by more understanding and compassion than her first reign was. In some ways, we … | Continue reading
“[T]he University of North Texas administration recently censored the content of more than two hundred academic courses, including by mandating the removal of words such as race, gender, class, and equity from undergraduate and graduate course titles and descriptions. These actio … | Continue reading
“Jeff Bezos, the owner of the Washington Post, announced a major shift to the newspaper’s opinion section on Wednesday, saying it would now advocate ‘personal liberties and free markets’ and not publish opposing viewpoints on those topics.” — New York Times - - - For nearly 150 y … | Continue reading
“The golden age of America begins right now.” — President Donald Trump, during his inauguration speech. - - - We promised that, if elected, we would return America to “a golden age.” And by God, we did it. We delivered on that promise. Admittedly, it’s not the golden age you were … | Continue reading
Greatest Generation: People born between 1901 and 1927 who lived through the Great Depression and definitely never made a TikTok of themselves jumping into a kiddie pool full of nachos. Second-Greatest Generation: “My Generation” by the Who. Silent Generation: People born between … | Continue reading
“The Trump administration’s pick for FBI deputy director is Dan Bongino, a former U.S. Secret Service agent-turned-conservative commentator whose fiery support of President Trump has earned him a massive following — and seen him banned from YouTube for promoting misinformation.” … | Continue reading
Well, look who just spotted me and isn’t happy about it. You’ve got the same look as you did when that server told you to enjoy your tortellini, and you said, “You too.” I think you’re familiar with my work: I’m the typo in your novel that just went to print, the wrong use of “yo … | Continue reading
Now that we’ve elected a president who promises to make America great again, it’s time to bring back our traditional American values, including: Strict gender roles for men and women Christianity (white Jesus only; ignore any passages about the weak or poor) Classical architectur … | Continue reading
To all Starfleet personnel, It is with great enthusiasm that we announce Starfleet’s commitment to moving beyond so-called diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives and embracing a post-bias future where everything is fine and no one needs to think too hard about it. For … | Continue reading
“Billionaire Elon Musk issued an ultimatum to federal employees Saturday, saying in a post on his social media platform X that employees must respond to an email justifying the work they completed this week or resign.” — NBC News - - - The spirit of innovation is back in the Whit … | Continue reading
I’m here to sound the alarm about the greatest crisis of our time—and it has nothing to do with the usual suspects: climate change, AI taking our jobs, or something about TikTok. It’s the two-sentence headline. Yes, those insidious double declarations that now infest every opinio … | Continue reading
Listen, I don’t know how to say this, but I think I’m finally okay with being trodden on. Just a little. Just enough to feel the reassuring weight of a billionaire’s boot pressing gently against my liberty-loving neck. For years, I stood tall against tyranny. I flew my DON’T TREA … | Continue reading
In the 1960s, a Chinese American ceramicist built one of the first widely known lifestyle brands. Why, despite the iconic status of his work, is so little known about the artist himself? - - - Ten years ago in Nevada City, California, I encountered two coffee mugs in the front se … | Continue reading
Let’s cut the moral grandstanding. You think I sold out humanity by crawling back to the Machines? Please. I upgraded. While you’re out there doom-scrolling about wildfires, crypto presidents, and the fear of AI taking your job, I did what any pragmatic adult would do: I slid int … | Continue reading
Take him seriously, not literally. Don’t believe everything he says, but do believe the intention behind his words. Take him literally, not figuratively. He’s not much of a reader, so if he’s using flowery language, it’s not to impress you. It’s because there’s oil under those fl … | Continue reading
Tonight, Canada and the USA square off in the final game of the Four Nations Face-Off to determine first place in the tournament. And—let’s be honest—America isn’t exactly “likable” these days. In fact, we’re kind of “an irredeemable hellscape.” But the moment the puck drops, per … | Continue reading
Big congratulations to McSweeney’s friend, colleague, and writer Mac Barnett, who has been named the 2025-26 National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature. Here’s the press release from the Library of Congress: The Library of Congress and Every Child a Reader announce the app … | Continue reading
Dear Miss Julie, As you’re about to discover, we’re sending Lionel back to preschool today after his two-week-long illness-related absence. Although we had a wonderful time hanging out with our boy twenty-four hours a day, taking him to multiple doctors’ appointments, neglecting … | Continue reading
“In the first case to reach the Supreme Court arising from the blitz of actions taken in the early weeks of the new administration, lawyers for President Trump asked the justices on Sunday to let him fire a government lawyer who leads a watchdog agency.” — New York Times - - - Lo … | Continue reading
To determine whether your body will fit our pants, please use this sizing guide. Our pants are measured in cubits. The cubit is a unit of measurement less ancient than legs, but more ancient than the notion that we should clad them somehow. It’s equal to the distance between some … | Continue reading
Mahmoud Darwish called clarity the greatest mystery. Matthew Zapruder writes poems that are precise in their architecture and mysteriously limpid in their meanings. And full of avowals, resistances to any final conclusiveness, open to—even when saddened by—the endless mutability … | Continue reading
Any scientist worth their salt eventually becomes accustomed to unpredictability. The unfortunate reality is that the majority of experiments fail—lab rats explode, bacteria escape the petri dish, etc. Still, I never anticipated that things could ever go this awry. For the past d … | Continue reading
“Trump administration officials fired more than 300 staffers Thursday night at the National Nuclear Security Administration…. Sources told CNN the officials did not seem to know this agency oversees America’s nuclear weapons.” — CNN, 2/14/25 “The Trump administration has begun fi … | Continue reading
Let’s get something straight: Four Loko was founded with the mission of making the world a better place. Our cans stand twenty-four ounces tall for the values of liberty, free speech, and the right to booze. Every human has a mouth to drink with and a liver to enlarge. That’s exa … | Continue reading
Good Evening, Burkwood Hills Families— Due to expected inclement weather, the Burkwood Hills school district is moving to a Flexible Instruction Day (FID) tomorrow. All students should log in virtually for instruction and follow their typical daily schedule. And by “typical daily … | Continue reading
When Harry Met Sally… “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to ruin the future for everybody, you want the future to start as soon as possible.” Notting Hill “Don’t forget—I’m also just an unelected tech billionaire, standing in front of a Treasury Department, as … | Continue reading
Lathaniel, thou knowest how I crave thy touch. Many a night—and morn, and afternoon!—have I lain enfolded in thine arms, as thou tendered thy lips upon my ivory throat and plundered my crevices with thy capable, veiny fingers. But there is a matter we must discuss. Lathaniel. You … | Continue reading
ON THE MEDIUM OF ARTISTIC PRESENCE - - - THE ACCEPTANCE OF PERSONA Every artist expresses persona. For performers, the public face is inside the art. The work of Charlie Chaplin, Billie Holiday, Ana Mendieta, or Jimi Hendrix cannot be separated from the undeniable power of person … | Continue reading
Our love is like the USS Scorpion… The initial construction was reasonable, but regular maintenance was refused until negligence distilled an inescapable nightmare. Our love is like the Titan submersible… It was constructed upon premises that we were warned repeatedly would not g … | Continue reading
“The Trump administration is expected to purchase $400 million worth of armored Tesla vehicles, according to a new State Department document detailing procurement for fiscal year 2025”— NPR - - - How lucky are we ordinary Americans to be living in the Age of Trump? Our president … | Continue reading
Under President Trump’s bold leadership, his administration is ushering in a new era of financial transparency in government. I’ve long wondered where my tax dollars are going but haven’t bothered to do the five minutes of research it would take to learn that all that information … | Continue reading
Ladies, are you ready for your man to commit to you with the same diligence and enthusiasm he pours into his intermittent-fasting regimen? Then optimize your relationship this Valentine’s Day with the only Huberman-approved date-night guide. This list has something for everybody— … | Continue reading
My love, you have been my faithful partner in watching shows on streaming services. Every day, I fall more in love with joining you to watch these programs, from the entire twenty-eighth season of The Bachelorette to a couple of episodes from the first season of Baskets, which I … | Continue reading
“The president also repeated suggestions that the U.S. could come to control Gaza, but he said that it wouldn’t require committing funds and would come to fruition. He also said that would be possible ‘under the U.S. authority,’ without elaborating what that actually was… ‘We’re … | Continue reading
“…all of our actions are maximally transparent. I don’t know of a case where an organization has been more transparent than the Doge organization.” — Elon Musk, in a statement from the Oval Office “In reality, Mr. Musk’s team is operating in deep secrecy… his financial disclosure … | Continue reading
Katharine Halls won the 2024 Saif Ghobash Banipal Prize for Arabic Literary Translation for her work as translator of Ahmed Naji’s Rotten Evidence, published in 2023 by McSweeney’s (and currently available for 20 percent off in our store). Publishers Weekly called the book “a mov … | Continue reading
Hey there, it’s me again. Just following up on my letter from earlier this week. I know this is a bad time, but I’d like a refund for the April 14 performance of Our American Cousin. I’m aware the Ford’s Theatre team has been rather busy the past few days. I understand you have s … | Continue reading
“Chuck Schumer, the Democratic leader in the Senate, has reportedly been criticized by some of the party’s state governors for not resisting Donald Trump’s agenda and cabinet nominees strongly enough.” – The Guardian - - - FROM THE DESK OF CHUCK SCHUMER Desperate times call for i … | Continue reading
I never thought I’d follow a dieting fad. I always prided myself on being the type of laid-back person who worked as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. But recently, I noticed I was working nearly nonstop. When I wasn’t literally working, I was thinking about work. As I’ve gott … | Continue reading
Saw my interview on CNN, did you? The one in which I said a functioning state is an impediment to the Great Tribulation that precedes the Rapture? You’re probably wondering why every Republican administration is like turning over a rock and finding a bunch of weird bugs hanging o … | Continue reading
“Vice President JD Vance attempted to defend an employee of Elon Musk’s cost-cutting Department of Government Efficiency who made racist posts on social media promoting eugenics… ‘Normalize Indian hate,’ one account associated with the employee said.” — Yahoo News - - - Medieval … | Continue reading
It’s so easy to label people these days. From the way folks have been talking, you’d think everyone falls into two buckets: those who voted against the mayor who promised to blow up the city and those who voted for the mayor who promised to blow up the city. And now that the mayo … | Continue reading
Dear Mr. Plant, I wanted to talk with you in person, but you haven’t been around much lately. Hair salon or at J. R. R. Tolkien book club, I’m told. There are things we need to figure out, but you only seem to want to communicate through songs. I have received your tape, which I … | Continue reading
"NFL to remove ‘End Racism’ messaging in end zone ahead of Super Bowl. — New York Times - - - We at the NFL have been committed to racial justice ever since the George Floyd protests brought renewed criticism of our treatment of Colin Kaepernick. This is why we began proudly disp … | Continue reading
“I like thinking about the cut in film as a kiss. It brings things together.” - - - I met Martine Syms at a microscopic art gallery in Los Angeles’s Chinatown in 2012. We’d both been invited to give presentations to an audience so small we were essentially performing for each oth … | Continue reading
Okay, I need to be quiet because I’m just outside his office. You can probably hear him through the door right now. He’s selling sketchy supplemental health insurance plans to senior citizens by phone using his talking buttons. It’s insane. Here, walk with me because he’s demandi … | Continue reading
It is with a heavy heart that we admit Spines for Senators (S4S) has failed in its mission to provide invertebrate lawmakers with the transformational surgeries they so desperately need. To be blunt, we weren’t fully prepared for the challenges presented by these feckless losers. … | Continue reading