Somewhere Along the Way, a Mistake Had Been Made

[That’s putting it mildly.] Back in 2019, two couples in California who had worked with an unnamed I.V.F. clinic discovered that they had given birth to each others’ babies. After they realized, they had an unbearable choice to make. When the two women pulled apart, Daphna said t … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

💧 An Emoji-Filled Saturday Update

[Stay in touch, and tell your friends about OFT too!] It’s once again time for weekend housekeeping. Here are some updates on how you can best keep up with America’s most beloved website, One Foot Tsunami. 💩 Social Media First up, I maintain three auto-posting accounts fo … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

💧 I Am a Hotel Art Appreciator

[I’m thinking of having business cards made up.] For many years, I’ve been an appreciator of hotel art. I don’t mean that I value or esteem the works found in hotel rooms, but simply that I make myself aware of it. I pay attention to it and attempt to consider it with a discernin … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

The Earworm Eraser

[Jira is big and bad, and they acquired Trello.] Christmas season is here, and to me, that means a collection of cloying seasonal tunes. Recently, however, I found a weapon to fight back: the Earworm Eraser The Earworm Eraser is a 40-second audio track designed specifically to sq … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

Backdoors Are a Very Bad Idea

[End-to-end encryption ought to be table stakes for communication wherever possible.] The FBI has long waged an anti-encryption campaign, seeking to mandate the creation of backdoors into end-to-end encrypted communications like WhatsApp, Signal, and Apple’s iMessages. In their f … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

💧 Meat-Ax Your News Consumption

[Grant me the serenity to ignore the things I cannot change.] As someone who lives in a democracy (for now), I believe it is both good and important to be an informed citizen. However, in Donald Trump’s first term as America’s commander in chief, I was unnecessarily tuned in to e … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

Wired Follows That Car

[Remind me not to visit San Francisco on Tiger Day.] I find Waymo’s driverless taxis fascinating, as I expressed back in July, so I quite enjoyed Wired decision to stalk a Waymo: Our idea: We’ll pile a few of us into an old-fashioned, human-piloted hired car, then follow a single … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

That’s One Safe Deer

[“Deer are not predisposed to wearing clothes.”] I don’t know who did this, and I don’t know how they did, but I’m impressed. But sedating an animal, especially deer, comes with its own risks. A phenomenon known as capture myopathy, which is common in deer after they are sedated, … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

Waiting for My Asteroid to Come In

[Economics does not work that way!] It’s Thanksgiving in America, and today, I’m thankful for asteroid 16 Psyche. Once we capture it and bring it back to Earth, we’re all going to be billionaires. It’s going to be great. Link: https://www.unilad.com/technology/space/nasa-psyche-1 … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

You Don’t See Women Winning the Presidency

[Misogny is, sadly, still going strong.] How much does America, including the women, hate women? Twice, an immensely qualified woman has run for president against a frighteningly unfit man, and twice that frighteningly unfit man has won. Before the election, Oliver Hall had conve … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

Take This Job and Restaff It

[Turnabout is fair play.] Over in Japan, an industry of “job-quitting” services apparently exists to help employees leave their jobs. One such company, Momuri, hired a former client to work for them. Soon, however, they found themselves on the receiving end of his proxy quitting … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

Operation Bear Claw

[This is a very, very dumb crime.] I got my first good laugh in the month of November from this ridiculous scam. The hubris on display here, as well as the high level of effort on the part of the conspirators, is just great. Look at this high-quality costume! [Photo credit: Calif … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 4 months ago

💧 Where We Go From Here (2024)

[] Try and leave this world a little better than you found it, and when your turn comes to die, you can die happy in feeling that at any rate, you have not wasted your time but have done your best. —Robert Baden-Powell One Foot Tsunami has always been a labor of love. Since 2009, … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

💧 At a Loss

[I’m sorry, but right now, I have nothing to offer.] This post intentionally left blank | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

💧 Vote for Kamala Harris. Then, Get Out the Vote for Kamala Harris.

[Let’s do this one more time, everyone.] Today is election day in America. It’s time for America to move past the incredibly unfit Donald Trump, and time to send Kamala Harris to the White House as America’s first female president. America, let’s do this. Here’s how: If You’re Re … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

A Monster Assembled Entirely From Human Flaws

[“[R]arely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.”] British writer Nate White has Donald Trump figured out: Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Damn the Constraints of Our Universe

[Infinity is a mirage.] If you were somehow counting on the infinite monkey theorem to help you accomplish something, a pair of Australian mathematicians have some bad news: “It is not plausible that, even with improved typing speeds or an increase in chimpanzee populations, monk … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

The Tomato Aurora

[Also, what the hell is a tomato “factory”?] “Seymour! The northern lights are out!” “No, mother. It’s just the local tomato factory.” It does have a strange beauty of its own. I believe I would enjoy a whole “area person disappointed” series. Link: https://www.independent.co.uk/ … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

💧 Let’s Expect More From Ourselves

[To err is human. To cover your ass with AI is not divine.] This week, Apple has unveiled a set of artificial intelligence features to the world. The new Apple Intelligence functionality is being touted with two new commercials that pitch a smartphone as a substitute for being at … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Please, Let Him Be Hoist With His Own Petard

[The petard in this case is “racism”.] Over the weekend, Donald Trump held a rally at Madison Square Garden in New York City. There, “comedian” Tony Hinchcliffe disparaged multiple minority groups, including Puerto Ricans. That might prove to be a problem for the Trump campaign, … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Democracy Dies in Cowardice

[Hold Jeff Bezos’s beer.] Not to be outdone by Patrick Soon-Shiong and the Los Angeles Times, billionaire Jeff Bezos has apparently also killed his paper’s endorsement of Kamala Harris. Declaring the paper’s lack of an endorsement just 11 days before the election is a breathtakin … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Inspiring Words

[He’s right. We ARE all going to be dead soon.] Speaking of the Boston Celtics, Boston.com has a collection of great quotes from their head coach, Joe Mazzulla. [Photo credit: Boston.com on Instagram] Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, just remember that we’re all going to be d … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

One Cowardly Owner and One Valiant Journalist

[Two not-actually-that-radical proposals: Billionaires should not exist and news organizations should be publicly funded.] Earlier this month, billionaire owner of the “Los Angeles Times” Patrick Soon-Shiong dictated to the paper’s editorial board that it would not be allowed to … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

💧 Don’t Expect Too Much From Apple Intelligence

[You just keep trying to kick that football, Charlie Brown.] I live just down the street from the home of both the Boston Celtics and the Boston Bruins, TD Garden. Games, concerts, and other shows at this arena can impact me greatly, so I frequently want to know “What’s happening … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

No Smoking Forever

[Perhaps it would make sense to require manual renewal of regulations every so often.] Though smoking hasn’t been permitted on U.S. flights for decades, I can recall taking notice of a bathroom ashtray on a Virgin flight just a few years ago. The plane was brand-new, with plastic … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

💧 North and Also West to the Future

[Nuts and gum, together at last!] For most of the 2010s, Virgin America was my preferred way to travel between Boston and San Francisco. Eventually, however, Virgin shuttered their cross-country routes from Boston when they were acquired by the extremely West Coast-based Alaska A … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Jimmy Carter Voted

[Onward. Forward. Upward.] Former president and scourge of the guinea worm Jimmy Carter wasn’t concerned with living to 100. Instead, he wanted to make it to the 2024 presidential election, so he could cast his ballot for Kamala Harris. Now, he’s done it. Next up, he should aim t … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

How Serendipitous

[Science!] Do you have some art in need of restoring? Maybe you can throw some bacteria at it. As Spanish microbiologist Pilar Bosch was casting around for a subject to investigate for her PhD in 2008, she stumbled across a paper suggesting that bacteria, her field, could be used … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

💧 2.1 Quadillion Years

[That’s quite a glitch.] Recently, I had the misfortune of taking a Ryanair flight from Ireland to Poland. Though I’d heard horror stories, it was the only direct flight available, and the price was very low. The cost to my soul, however, was quite high. To borrow a phrase from J … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Too Many Raccoons

[Who knew raccoons could swarm?] It’s apparently Pacific Northwest Police social media week here at OFT. Today, we head north to Washington state, where one woman found herself surrounded by too many raccoons: [Photo credit: Kitsap County Sheriff’s Office] After decades of feedin … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

It Was, in Fact, a Bag Full of Drugs

[Don’t make a liar out of bags.] When police in Oregon stopped a stolen car and searched it, the loaded gun and scales were probably enough to arouse suspicion. Still, the accompanying bag definitely didn’t help: [Photo credit: Portland Police] Amusingly, Vice’s coverage of this … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Happy Birthday, You’re Dumped

[“For sale: baby shoes, never worn” is an amazing six-word story, but it’s probably best to not text it to your pregnancy class group.] Recently, a man was apparently dumped by his girlfriend via text message, and found the exchange summarized by AI: On Wednesday, NYC-based softw … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Dookie Demastered

[The way it was never meant to be heard] In 1994, Green Day released their seminal album “Dookie”. It brought both the band and punk music in general into the mainstream, selling tens of millions of copies along the way. Now, 30 years later, they’ve demastered the album. Each of … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Misappropriation of Sheep Testicles

[Also, captive trophy hunting is pathetic.] Arthur “Jack” Schubarth, an 81-year-old Montana man, was recently sentenced to six months in federal prison. His misdeed was the illegal use of tissue and testicles from large sheep, which he used to create hybrid sheep for captive trop … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Ready to Believe a Conman

[It’s like tuna fish in a barrel.] I suspect Donald Trump’s ridiculously named social media platform “Truth Social” attracts a people who are likely to be more credulous than average. Scammers looking for prey have certainly found it there, as Gizmodo found out via a FOIA request … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

R.I.P. Kris Kristofferson

[We’re out of outlaw poets] A few months back, I stumbled on a profile of singer, songwriter, and actor Kris Kristofferson, written by actor, author, and film director Ethan Hawke. It dates from 2009, but it was a tremendous read 15 years later, and again on the occasion of Krist … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Knock It Off, Zoos

[The ethics of zoos are difficult, but disguising one animal as another is pretty clearly wrong.] One Foot Tsunami’s oeuvre is such that when a zoo is caught attempting to pass off a dog as a panda, as happened again last month, I hear about it from readers. But rather than link … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

The Ritual Without the Alcohol

[Guinness 0.0 is legit.] Hannah Twiggs, writing about Guinness’s zero-alcohol incarnation: At first glance, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about a pint of Guinness 0.0. The velvet black pour, the creamy foam head balancing delicately on the rim of the glass, the familiar sat … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Fat Bear Week Gets Vicious

[Ursicide ought not to be condoned.] As faithful readers know, only one bear can be crowned champion of Fat Bear Week. Though 2024’s tournament hasn’t even started, it already features more drama and intrigue than ever. Bear #469, no doubt intent on claiming the Fat Bear crown, d … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Duck Bill Trucks

[It’s still miles better than a CyberTruck.] The US Postal Service is currently in the process of updating its massive fleet of vehicles. When I read that the new trucks were well-loved by mail carriers, despite their goofy looks, I wondered just how weird they might look. It tur … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

The Ideology of Childlessness

[This is the sort of awfulness you’d expect from the bogeyman that was the USSR.] Rather than attempting to force women to have children, perhaps Russia could improve its demographics by ending the invasion of Ukraine. Link: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/russia-proposes-ban- … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Careful With Your Snarky Group Chat Names

[They might leak out of your phone.] With iOS 18, iPhones have finally gained support for RCS, the text message replacement for SMS and MMS. Android devices, meanwhile, have supported RCS for years. The two platforms are doing things a little differently, though, and it could lea … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Slap Fighting Is Idiotic

[It’s also obviously bad for your health.] A year or two back, I learned about slap fighting. It is the dumbest sport I can recall seeing, and I’ve seen real-life quidditch quadball. In slap fighting, opponents stand across from each other and exchange vicious slaps. There is no … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

One Hellish Workout

[I can’t fathom how this happened.] Speaking of exercise leading to very bad things, approximately a quarter of the lacrosse players who participated in a recent workout at Tufts University were later diagnosed with a very serious medical condition. About 50 team members particip … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

That Really Is Tough

[Epidemiologists should not be needed after a race.] Speaking of gross events in San Francisco, a Tough Mudder race there seems to have infected a huge number of participants with bacteria that made them quite ill. Exposure to [waist-deep muddy water] is how Sonoma County officia … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Mulaney Plays Dreamforce

[AI will never be able to wear a fleece vest, not go to events, and spend all day at a bar.] Salesforce is a cloud-based software company that represents in my mind all that is awful and corporate in tech. I’m lucky that my only interaction with the company is via Slack, a subsid … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 7 months ago

A Supermarket Superstar

[“A cross between a hammerhead shark and a marital aid”] Five years ago, I met a robot named Marty who was working at the supermarket. It was somewhat disconcerting to be confronted with a near seven-foot-tall automaton while picking up cereal at Stop & Shop. Still, at least it l … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 7 months ago

💧 Beelzebub Has Your Back

[The investment returns are phenomenal, but the brokerage fee is your immortal soul.] While carving up the information superhighway on my digital surfboard recently, the following image jumped out at me: I stared at it for more than a few seconds before realizing that’s actually … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 7 months ago