đź’§ A Worthwhile Improvement, Made

[Still, we’ll take it.] Back in April, I wrote about the Googly Eyes on the MBTA movement. This effort aimed to have googly eyes placed on Boston’s subway and train cars, and included a demonstration in downtown Boston. Though the cause was righteous, I had little hope we’d see r … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Diner in Florida Sneezes His Guts Out

[Gesundheit!] Hey, wake up, new fear just dropped! Link: https://people.com/florida-man-sneezes-out-loops-of-large-intestine-8668997 | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Take a Ride on the Pinus

[What? What did you think I said?] Perhaps this oddly-named electric bike rhymes with “Linus”. Link: https://electrek.co/2024/06/20/rattans-newest-electric-bike-has-a-name-you-cant-say-in-polite-company/ | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Cue the Alice Cooper

[And cue the duck boats.] A week ago, the Boston Celtics won the 2024 NBA championship. After that, the team reportedly flew down to Miami to “enjoy some milder weather”. Milder June weather in Miami than Boston, sure, that’s normal and not at all concerning. Anyhow, following th … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

đź’§ Chill Out, Ride a Pickle

[Don’t make it weird.] As you might have gathered from last month’s post on their astoundingly high-tech new pickle jars, Grillo’s is a pretty prominent player among pickle purveyors. It wasn’t always that way, however. The company’s humble beginnings include a 2009 pickle cart u … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Force Feeding Faith

[Would these people have others do this unto them?] Louisiana has just enacted a law requiring the display of the Ten Commandments in every classroom throughout the state. The overtly Biblical content must be shown on “a poster or framed document that is at least eleven inches by … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Behold the Power of Grimace

[May we all have a Grimace era.] The often hapless New York Mets have recently won seven straight games. They might just have Grimace to thank for that streak. Link: https://www.vulture.com/article/grimace-mets-hot-streak.html | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

đź’§ By The Numbers: The Celtics 2024 Championship

[Job done.] The Boston Celtics captured the 2024 NBA Championship last night, with a Game 5 victory over the Dallas Mavericks, a game they lead wire to wire. The scene here in Boston near TD Garden was raucous, with copious helicopters overhead and thousands of people in the stre … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Real Photograph Wins AI Image Contest

[Well, well, well. How the turntables.] When Miles Astray submitted a real snap to a photography awards’ AI category, he “wanted to show that nature can still beat the machine and that there is still merit in real work from real creatives”. His image placed third, and won the “Pe … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Just When He Thought He Was Out

[They’re going to get that Netflix money.] The upcoming 4th of July (Observed) festivities will feature the return of (in)famous gurgitator Takeru Kobayashi. Just last month, he had announced his retirement from competitive eating. In September, however, he’ll be back for one las … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

The 4th of July (Observed)

[The September 2nd Edition] After yesterday’s disheartening news, One Foot Tsunami is delighted to inform our readers that the 4th of July is back on! Link: https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/joey-chestnut-kobayashi-hot-dog-eating-contest-netflix-1236035762/ | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Sorry, Kids, No Fireworks This Year

[The New York Post is awful, but I have to give them credit for “a beef over vegan franks”.] One Foot Tsunami regrets to inform our readers that the 4th of July is cancelled. Link: https://nypost.com/2024/06/11/business/joey-chestnut-banned-from-2024-nathans-hot-dog-eating-contes … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Ostrichs in Government, Part II

[North Carolina isn’t quite as bad as Florida.] Today we travel north from Florida to follow up on yesterday’s stupid state government work. Three states away, Republicans in North Carolina are looking to do something about the scourge of……wearing masks. The justification for a t … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Ostrichs in Government, Part I

[Ostriches don’t actually stick their heads in the sand in the face of danger, but some humans certainly do.] Last month, I saw two different stories of idiocy in state government last month, which I let marinate. They’ve stuck with me, due to their hideous head-in-the-sandedness … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

That’s a Lot of Rowing

[Row, row, row your boat…for 40 or more days] Last week, a crew of four set off from Boston Harbor in an attempt to row their way to the United Kingdom. It’s going to be an arduous journey, and it’s one I can’t fathom making myself. The very first question in the group’s site FAQ … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

You Are Not Prepared to See a CyberTruck

[“Tentatively Doing Errands From Within A Super Nintendo.”] A couple months back on the narrow streets of Boston, I spotted a CyberTruck in person for the first time. It was even more terrible than I had imagined it would be. The vehicle is awful on countless levels, and the pric … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

đź’§ Marcus Is Doing Better Now

[I was honestly worried.] At 11:34 AM on Wednesday, my savings bank Marcus1 sent me an email with the subject line “We updated our Deposit Account Agreement”. It indicated that a small change was being made to an agreement I promise you no one has ever read in the first place: We … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Striking Gold With Domain Names

[Italy’s “.it” seems like it ought to be more valuable.] Way back in the ’80s and ’90s, two-character top-level domains (TLDs) like “.us” were assigned to countries and other sovereign states. Many decades later, some very tiny places are reaping financial windfalls with TLDs lik … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Reducing the Level of Noise

[It’s a good policy for most.] Last week, Harvard University announced it will cease to “issue official statements about public matters that do not directly affect the university’s core function”. It’s an idea whose time has come. Link: https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/28/business/har … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Donald Trump Is Now a Convicted Felon

[In a closer-than-it-ought-to-be election, a small swing may be all that’s needed.] Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guil … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

Grotesque

[Autographing an artillery shell is a deeply disturbing thing to do.] Last October, a Hamas-led attack on Israel killed well over 1,000 people, including hundreds of civilians. It was awful. Since then, a war has been waged. It, too, is awful. I continually find myself thinking b … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 5 months ago

The Face of Bad Umpiring

[Professional umpires are generally very good at a very difficult job. Angel was not.] It’s seldom a good thing when people know the name of an umpire in Major League Baseball. For years, Angel Hernandez’s name has been known, and cursed, by baseball fans. His missed calls, mixed … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

A Less Sour Experience

[Thank goodness technology has advanced to the point where these problems can be solved.] Boston-Based Grillo’s makes a delicious pickle. However, for years, that tasty product has come in a package that could best be described as “really very bad”. The plastic containers feature … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

High-Tech Stamps

[It’s the bread of their daily lives.] France has unveiled a new postage stamp devoted to that most French of foods, the baguette. And this particular stamp has a special talent. Thanks to scratch-and-sniff technology, it will also transport “bakery fragrances” to those lucky eno … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Warning: AI Doesn’t Understand Sarcasm, Satire, or Nuance

[Dentists love this one weird trick.] Though this story has gone very viral already, it tickles me so much that I feel I must be sure to link to it. Among other terrible advice, Google’s AI answers have been telling users to eat rocks. [Photo credit: Ben Collins] The reason? Dire … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

The Way a Flag Should Be

[Vote Lone Pine 2024] For its first 81 years as a state, Maine had no flag. In 1901, their first state flag was selected. It was lovely: Regrettably, this quaint little design was replaced just a few short years later with something lousy. Since 1909, this has been the flag of th … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

She May Be a Former “Friend” Now

[This never would’ve happened to a “Visionary Benefactor”.] Australian artist Vincent Namatjira has painted portraits of many rich and powerful people, though not at their request. In his words, “Displacing powerful figures takes away some of their dominance”. That doesn’t mean t … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

That’s a Vibe, Alright

[The only thing more garish than those interiors is owning a $30M “pied-Ă -terre”.] Today in conspicuous capitalism, the most expensive home currently for sale in Boston is a $30 million 6-bedroom, 10-bathroom 10,000 square foot mansion. It was built in 18991, and as you might gue … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Presented to He Who Is the Mark Messierest

[It helps if you know his last name is pronounced “Mess-e-a”] Over at Defector, Barry Petchesky has a review of the Mark Messier NHL Leadership Award The backstory to this award is that in 2006 someone in the NHL wondered, Wouldn’t it be fun if we created a Mark Messier award, wi … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Maximizing Those Marketing Dollars

[What would the bottom-line cost be on wrecking a truck this way?] I’ve written previously about truck-eating bridges, relatively low bridges which are frequently slammed into by oblivious box truck drivers. Here in Boston, we call such incidents “Storrowings”, after the crosstow … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Curse Those Experts Mongering Fear

[If H5N1 is the next global pandemic, let’s be sure to blame these dopes.] For the first time, the H5N1 bird flu has been found in US dairy cows. That’s not great. As a result, health experts have increased their warnings against drinking raw milk. It’s not going well. The Califo … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Artistic Malicious Compliance

[That’s solid work.] Seaside, California resident Etienne Constable was recently told by the city that he needed to build a fence to hide his boat. He complied, and even had the fence painted. It’s lovely: Yes, Constable’s neighbor Hanif Wondir helpfully painted a realistic boat … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Learning About Billy Ripken

[The Ripken heritage really put this thing over the top.] While writing last week’s post on apian baseball cards, I made an off-hand reference to the Billy Ripken “Fuck Face” card. If you collected cards in the late ’80s or early ’90s, it’s likely you’re very familiar with this i … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

As Real as the Faith We Share

[“I have had anger in my heart about the deployment of AI chatbots in inappropriate places.”] Today in completely unnecessary AI, it’s Justin, the robot priest! Well, it was, until Justin got demoted. Now it’s Justin, the robot lay theologian, which isn’t nearly as catchy. Justin … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Focus on More Than the Shareholders

[Decent customer service should be a minimum expectation, not a shocking luxury.] Lousy customer service is endemic. It’s one of the major bummers of modern life in an advanced society, and it shouldn’t have to be. When a company perpetually has “higher than expected call volumes … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

So Long, Rat Hole

[“Plus, many in the neighborhood argue that the imprint was actually caused by a squirrel.”] Earlier this year, Chicago found itself with a hot new tourist attraction: the rat hole. Gaze upon it! [Photo credit: Winslow Dumaine] Though this rat-shaped hole had existed for multiple … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

They Should’ve Put Some Stats on the Back

[It’s no “Fuck Face” Billy Ripken card, but it’s still pretty good.] Not long after last week’s bee delay and subsequent apian heroics, trading card company Topps issued a Matt Hilton trading card. Thanks to reader Jack B. for alerting me to this delightful nonsense: Topps announ … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

The Self-Medicating Orangutan

[Dr. Rakus, M.D.] Apparently, orangutans understand medicine. After an orangutan hurt his face, scientists observed him chewing a plant known to relieve pain and applying a paste made from the leaves to the injury. Impressive. Link: https://www.nbcnews.com/science/science-news/or … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

đź’§ Come on, Sam Adams

[“Stop on by and give us money.”] Organized running races often dole out an assortment of swag to participants. I’ve received small running accessories, snacks, samples of energy gels, and many other freebies. Last month, as part of a race I ran, I was given the following card: I … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

A Bee Delay

[M-V-🐝! M-V-🐝!] Earlier this week, a Major League Baseball game was delayed nearly two hours due to…bees. That’s amusing, but it has happened before. It was actually what happened after the bees were cleared that stood out to me. When the bees were discovered near … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

A Gallery of Emoji Paintings

[In the immortal words of C. Montgomery Burns, “I know what I hate. And I don’t hate this.”] Over at ImFineImFine.com, ND Stevenson has recreated masterpieces with emoji. I cannot tell you how or why, but at some point a few years back I discovered that Instagram Stories not only … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

đź’§ Worlds Collide

[I don’t care how mature you are, that’s funny.] Last month, I posted a story about scientists tracing COVID via sewer pipes. Soon after, I received a delightful email from a reader, which I share with you now: Yes, the Dave O’Connor mentioned in my initial post is a One Foot Tsu … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

Cricket Deserved Better

[We all do.] It seems extremely unlikely that you haven’t already heard the story of South Dakota governor Kristi Noem shooting her dog, Cricket. And also her unnamed goat. And more recently, putting down three horses via unspecified means. But on the off-chance you haven’t, give … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 6 months ago

No Appetite for Ineffective Political Violence

[“It's not just that Fox News told them entering New York results in instant murder”.] Over at Salon, the always-astute Amanda Marcotte has an excellent piece discussing why Donald Trump’s supporters simply aren’t showing up for him at his hush money trial. Link: https://www.salo … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 7 months ago

A Possible Sea Change in Aviation

[OK, great, but where’s my centaur?] New Yorker writer Gideon Lewis-Kraus recently investigated the current status of “flying cars”. As his article notes, most past designs were “jury-rigged compromises between a lousy automobile and a stupid airplane”. But now, thanks to advance … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 7 months ago

I Hope We Eventually Get to See the Painting

[“But is it our art?”] I occasionally engage in scampish art of put-pocketing, wherein rather than filching an item from someone, I instead slip something into a friend’s pocket or bag. Though I rarely get to see the end result, I still delight in the idea of them finding these u … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 7 months ago

No Need to Fact-Check This

[Separating satire from misinformation is difficult but essential.] Apparently, free speech absolutist Elon Musk has died. Link: https://theshovel.com.au/2024/04/23/elon-musk-dead-at-52-misinformation-laws/ | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 7 months ago

Voyager 1 Is Back From the Dead

[Look at what we can do.] Back in February, I noted that after nearly 47 years, Voyager 1 may be dying. But Goonies NASA nerds never say die. After months of meticulous debugging work, we are once again receiving valid data from Voyager. On April 18, 2024, the team began sending … | Continue reading


@onefoottsunami.com | 7 months ago