Sometimes I think of wrecks not as really, really bad cakes, but really, really bad art. And to make them seem more arty (and to amuse myself, because let's be honest, that's a priority) I'll give them hoity-toity art names, like: "Blanket Of White Silence, Being Loudly Smothered … | Continue reading
The Good: You hired a fabulous wedding photographer. The Bad: Not so much with the baker. The Ugly: This has to be the most beautiful photo of a Wreck I've ever seen. The fact that the photographer submitted it - along with tales of watching the baker catch the toppling cake with … | Continue reading
It all started with those kitschy toilet-paper cover dolls: I think every grandmother was required by law to make enough of these things for her family to cover a mountain of TP. (My personal favorite was our red-dressed flamenco dancer. You?) After this was done, those dear craf … | Continue reading
Wreckporter Dan W. thought it'd be fun to let the kids at his son's birthday party decorate their own cupcakes. So he went to his local bakery and ordered 50 cupcakes with... can you guess? I mean, how would you phrase that? No, seriously, it's funnier if you guess first. I'll wa … | Continue reading
Photopaper cakes are big again, bakers, so let's go over a few ground rules: 1) Stop doing this: Just stop it. Ground Rule The Second: If the customer asks for a "cute train photo cake" for her 2-year-old, remember to include the word "cute" in your Google image search: ::sigh:: … | Continue reading
Unicorns! Rainbows! Sparkles! Oh yeah, you're gonna like today's Sweets, gang. Starting with this: (By Arte da Ka in Brazil) Perfect pastels and the shiniest unicorn horn I've ever seen. (By Pim's Bakery in Thailand) This little cutie has me making grabby hands at the screen. You … | Continue reading
Warning: Fondant nipples ahead (And I love my job.) I've never had to tell anyone they're pregnant, but I like to think I'd do it with style. You know, like this: Wait for it. ... ! See, that's what we call a... PREGNANT PAUSE. (Bonus points if it's not his birthday.) Mom-to-be A … | Continue reading
" MAN BISCUITS " I don't want to eat them; I just want to order a couple. Loudly. "Steamrolled Minnie" Anyone else having Roger Rabbit flashbacks? (On the plus side, now she qualifies for flat-rate shipping!) [bah-dum-CHA.] "When A Farewell Turns Curiously Personal" Wreck or no? … | Continue reading
[answering phone] "Cakey Cake Bakery, Jill speaking! How can I help you?" "Hi, I need to order a cake for my boss. We have a photo of him playing golf that we'd like to put on it, though - can you do that?" "Of course! Just bring the photo in on a USB drive and we'll print it out … | Continue reading
"Hello and welcome to Ghost Investigator Dudes. I'm Brad Johnson, a frat boy jock who isn't afraid of ANYTHING and enjoys taunting the afterlife by yelling challenges into empty cellars. "With me are Joey..." "Yo!" "...and Mike." "Yo!" "Today we're here at the old Chattanooga asy … | Continue reading
It's Memorial Day here in the U.S., a day when we pause to celebrate and remember the sacrifices of our fallen military heroes. Fortunately, our nation's bakers have done their part, too, reminding us: "Never Foget," And to: "Alyauys Remember..." Because we MUST... Let the dome b … | Continue reading
Rainbows are for everyone, just like love, just like CAKE. So today we're combining all three! Whether you like your rainbows in the traditional colors: (Haley Cakes And Cookies, Texas) Or neon: (Sugarcoates Bakery, Maryland) Or pastel: (Memory Maker, Texas) There's something abo … | Continue reading
Sure, we could spend time debating who's really to blame: the bakers, or the clients who ordered these wrecktastic designs. Or we could just agree they're funny regardless and get on with it. Yep, that's the ticket. Yet another example of why you really, really need to give your … | Continue reading
It's getting about that time again. You know the one, don't you? Thaaat's right! The one where Wreckerators wrestle with the seemingly simple "Congratulations." For some reason, various unholy alliances of the words "graduation" and "congratulations" keep popping up: "Gratulation … | Continue reading
Thanks to Laura R., Chelsea B., Juli P., and Karen M. for the wreckage most fowl. Also, HAPPY SHERLOCK HOLMES DAY! ***** And from my other blog, Epbot: | Continue reading
Groom's cake: $400 Wedding cake: $600 Having the two biggest wrecks in a state where everything's bigger? Priceless. (Okay, not really; it's a thousand dollars.) ***** Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? USA, UK, Canada. Visiting Amazon … | Continue reading
Today's cakey slams are not intentional (honest!), but how are the recipients supposed to know that? Especially when you, the cake-orderer, can't stop laughing? Two words:"plausible deniability." Let's all practice together, shall we? When this shows up for Beth's birthday: "Oh m … | Continue reading
My friend Aimee has been celebrating "Tiara Tuesdays" for about a month now - by wearing a tiara around the house every Tuesday. Which is pretty fabulous. So when I read that Friday is International Tiara Day, I realized the one thing Tiara Tuesday is missing: Sunday Sweets! ( Th … | Continue reading
I think Mandy said this was a sports logo of some sort: Which the bakery in question did a fantastic job recreating in CCC form: NOT!! [derisively] Ahahahahahah! Hahahah! [snorting hiccup-turned-choke] Hooheehaha-hack! [coughing fit] Ack ack ack! [sound of water glugging] [settin … | Continue reading
Jen C. ordered a plain cake - no special decorations - with the word "family" on it. Omigosh, you guys. I'm STILL laughing over what she got. I feel like the baker really doubled down on the word "plain" here. ***** Christine ordered a pool party cake for her daughter's birthday, … | Continue reading
Jill S. writes, "I gave them a napkin so they could match the icing colors to it. But instead..." ***** Lisa P. wanted her friend's birthday to be a critical success, but we all know how ordering a cake is a roll of the dice: MERCER HAVE MERCY (That one's for you, Critters) ***** … | Continue reading
Further proof that talent and common sense aren't always a package deal: Now if only it said "CREST HERE" on the left. John's taken over e-mail submission duties here at CW, and speaking of "duties..." ... yesterday he named this file, "pretty much just poop.jpg" NAILED IT. ("Cak … | Continue reading
Sometimes it's hard to tell Mom how much she means to us. Other times it's hard to tell how she still puts up with us. I like to think it's because of all the care and consideration that goes into the mother's day cakes we give her, though. Or, ok, maybe it's something else. Just … | Continue reading
It's Mother's Day, Sweets fans, and even if we can't be with our moms today, we can still celebrate with gorgeous cakes! (Ester Cakes, Online Tutorials & Supplies) Look at these cheery roses - I'd never have thought to pair them with black and gold stripes like this, but it's fan … | Continue reading
Eh? Hmmm.... HANG ON. Ok. Now? Ahhh, that's better. May the force be with Micaline P., Anna H., & Connie P. ***** "Luke, I am also your technicolor night light." Darth Vader LED Night Light And less than $10 Prime! Who knew going to the Dark side was so illuminating OR so cheap? … | Continue reading
ATTN BAKERS: 1) This is not how you build "character" Mmm. Cactus-y. 2) Worms are never appetizing. Like, never ever ever. 0.o Speaking of character cakes, does anyone else think Mickey Mouse had work done? I mean, that nose is definitely a little smaller. This bakery told Helen … | Continue reading
While I agree that cake makes even bad news at least a little sweeter, there's still a right and a wrong way to break some news. This is why fortune tellers should never become bakers. [on the phone] "No, of course we're not celebrating that you didn't get parole, Trish; there's … | Continue reading
Choosing the right cake design to go with your message is key. After all, you wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea, now, would you? Aw, now there's a warm welcome. (And if you think an overly enthusiastic volunteer fire brigade might spell disaster, you're wrong. It spells … | Continue reading
Help me out, minions: is this alien shrugging, or is that a snooty little handlebar mustache? WRONG. It's neither! It's a unicorn. ::head tilt:: ::eyes narrowing:: Or so they'd have us believe. Well, thank goodness unicorn cookies are easy. All you need is a horn, a mane, and an … | Continue reading
It's no secret I love color, and generally speaking, the brighter and bolder, the better. But today I'm featuring Sweets with as little color as possible, and in fact in my least favorite color for cakes: gray. Gray has always felt like an absence of color to me, like a desaturat … | Continue reading
It probably started innocently enough. "Hey, let's add a little stuffed rattle to this design, as a free bonus!" "We all know how much babies like cake!" Now, despite the fact that this design requires no decorating skills whatsoever, it does have the fatal flaw of being a cupcak … | Continue reading
Educators of the world, get those hankies out. Because this...[dramatic pause]...is your story. Yes, every year you need some good "louck" as you embark upon that harrowing journey: Back "toschol." Here you will continue on for an indeterminate amount of time. "4" more...years? S … | Continue reading
Yesterday I promised you more ridiculous/creative misspellings of the word "birthday." Which probably has you wondering, "Just how much more ridiculous can it get? It's a simple word! Sure, you might forget a letter, or switch a few up, but that's it, right?" [shaking head] Oh, y … | Continue reading
Loyal Wreckies, I am positively giddy to share one of my favorite collections of wrecks with you today. You see, with "birthday" arguably being the second most common word written on cakes these days ("happy" being the first) I'm always amazed when Wreckerators spell it wrong. Wh … | Continue reading
There really is nothing more terrifying than a creepy baby doll. I'm serious. They freaked me out as a kid and still manage to scare the pants off me today, what with their static staring eyes and little outstretched zombie arms and all. Thankfully, there's a new baking trend tha … | Continue reading
Warning: today's post contains violently delightful images. An all-out onslaught of adorableness awaits you. That's right, it's Baby Shower Sweets time! Prepare yourselves! Are you ready? You'll never be ready. We've already lined up a pair of twin baby bears in widdle baby diape … | Continue reading
Who's the center of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C! K-E-Y! M... Ohhh! MLT!* Happy birthday, Mickey. Thanks to the amazing Sweet Designs Kitchen for having a sense of humor matched only by their talent. Wreck on, guys. *So perky! ***** BONUS REACTION SHOT: via You're w … | Continue reading
Ok, bakers, you have one job. ONE JOB. Ready? Here goes. This plastic piece has football lacing on it, so - still with me? Yes? - so just put it on a cake, like so: ...and voilà! Instant football. Now, go find a brown cake, and put the piece of plastic on it. That's it. That's al … | Continue reading
I'm pretty sure today is one of bakers' least favorite holidays ever, if only because it's so stinking hard to spell: (I admit it: I had to double check that there aren't two Fs in "professional.") (Just to be clear: there aren't.) "Proffional" "Profissional" I like how this bake … | Continue reading
Is your guy a real "man's man?" Does he enjoy grunting, beer-can-crushing, and flexing? THEN DO I HAVE THE CAKES FOR YOU! Remember, pretty colors are for GIRLS. Singed poop and "I love hunting" flotsam is for MEN. HOOAW! And you know what else is manly? DEAD ANIMALS. Make it a bl … | Continue reading
Sometimes cakes can tell their own story. Oooh. Now that's cold. Thanks to Ally H., Jessica P., Wendy R., Megan M., Sierra Z., & Tori B. for the reminder to always be nice to mom. ALWAYS. ***** Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK,Canada. | Continue reading
Friday is Audubon Day, Sweets fans, named for John James Audubon who was reportedly cuckoo for cuckoo birds. Well, all birds, really. So it's only fitting we look at cakes featuring our fine feathered friends. (Alena's Cakes) So pretty! Also today I learned that a budgie and a pa … | Continue reading
Don't worry, bakers; today's decorating challenge is SUPER easy. I'll even walk you through it! Now, are you ready? Annnnd... [starting timer]... go! Ok, just throw the ball towards the basket: And count to three: Now put the candle on this kid's birthday cake: And stack these tw … | Continue reading
Someone on Reddit discovered there's more than one way to interpret "sprinkles on the side." Ha! (One of the few times when the wrecked version actually required more effort.) Dae's local bakery offers number-shaped donuts for birthdays, so she ordered "20 number 6 donuts with pi … | Continue reading
Hi, I'm here to pick up a cake? It's the "Happy Birthday Brittany" one. Ah, no, see, that second "Birthday" should be "Brittany." No no, this has Brittany twice. I need "Happy Birthday" on it. Ok, now you've just combined them into one word. There should be three. You don't mind … | Continue reading
SHOT THROUGH THE HEART [knowing smirk] And you're to blame! Wreckers, you give love A BAD NAME. How did this start? They look all the same! You give love a bad name (bad name!) You give love... A BAD NAME. Thanks to Anony M., Elizabeth, K.J., Jodee, Christy R., Anony M., Shari A. … | Continue reading
Strange times, minions. STRANGE TIMES. You know what else is strange? ::gestures helplessly:: Whatever is happening here. I mean, I see a lot of cake faces, but this? This is one in a melon. HEEEEEEEEEYO ***** Jay asked for a "blue frosted carrot cake," but I guess the baker left … | Continue reading
Usually I like a good continuous theme for Sweets, but this week I decided to change it up by celebrating a bunch of super specific, super obscure April holidays. So hey, Happy Mathematics and Statistics Awareness Month! (Emilee Kirven) Sum cakes have it where it counts. (That's … | Continue reading