Beaver of Fine Arts: What You Missed When You Skipped Class | Continue reading
Tips for teaching the hybrid learning model inside: Just complete this COVID form; Just check this list to see who is learning in-person (IL) an... | Continue reading
- - -This piece originally appeared in McSweeney’s 61. To read more from this ultra-deluxe, faux-leather-bound issue, subscribe by October 25. Get... | Continue reading
Listen, I’m proud to have inspired such an iconic song, but I’ve been waiting for thirty years to gets this off my chest: Tom completely misread me... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
“Jeffrey Toobin, CNN’s chief legal analyst and a renowned reporter for The New Yorker, has been sidelined at a pivotal moment in the run-up to the ... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.- - -Early in President ... | Continue reading
THERE’S. NO. TIME.[FIRST NAME], we are desperate. We emailed you. We texted you. You asked us to stop, and we didn’t. So let us say this now: The ... | Continue reading
When Belle, a young postal worker, accidentally drops her mother’s pearl necklace into a mail sorting machine, she has twelve hours to sort 1,550,0... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
It’s not by accident that we’ve never heard of the Four Little Pigs. It’s not a fluke that the story ends with a red brick house and three little p... | Continue reading
I have a duty to protect my family from the heavy hand of government. Diapers limit my baby’s constitutional right to free expression.Once that ex... | Continue reading
Hello. I am the undecided voter. I don’t feel either positively or negatively about talking to you today.I live in a small house in the direct cen... | Continue reading
1.Professor Philip Brainard watches his latest creation, a green mass of flying rubber, attempt to contort itself into a new shape.Every movement... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Act 1 (An Overture)A small bedroom in the home of Sam Parris, Salem, Massachusetts, in the fall of the year 2020. As the curtain rises, Sam Parri... | Continue reading
“I feel so powerful. I’ll walk into that audience. I’ll walk in there, I’ll kiss everyone in that audience. I’ll kiss the guys, and the beautiful w... | Continue reading
Dear Green Ginger,Hello! I just moved to the neighborhood. From Google Maps, I see that you’re an Asian Fusion restaurant, but I’m not sure if tha... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
We’re so glad that, despite everything, you still feel up for leaf-peeping in Maine this fall. Of course, many things are up in the air with COVID-... | Continue reading
To Whom It May Concern,I am writing regarding Sara Tan’s application for the Covid Undergraduate Research Scholars Educational Development scholar... | Continue reading
“I have stayed quiet with the approach of the election, but I’m troubled by our politics, as it has moved away from spirited debate to a vile, vitu... | Continue reading
1. Skiing2. Yachting3. Snorkeling4. Golf5. Polo6. Dinner parties7. Shopping | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Attention Staff:The Board of My Life is pleased to share an announcement regarding a change of leadership. For the first time in 31 years, My Life... | Continue reading
- - -Q: You make money playing poker. How did it start?A: In a way, I was part of the wave that started in 2003. That’s considered the beginning ... | Continue reading
“I have stayed quiet with the approach of the election, but I’m troubled by our politics, as it has moved away from spirited debate to a vile, vitu... | Continue reading
Hey. I hear you think you have pretty good taste in movies. That’s not your fault. Maybe you’ve never been told any different. That’s why I, a guy ... | Continue reading
Some people don’t think that conservative feminists exist, but that’s just not true. We’re strong, proud, and as loud as our husbands allow. I beli... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Salutations Fellow Black Initiate,I saw your picture in the stack of members set to join us in rural Pennsylvania, and I wanted to reach out to sa... | Continue reading
“Democracy isn’t the objective; liberty, peace, and prosperity are. We want the human condition to flourish. Rank democracy can thwart that.” — ... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
NameThanksgiving in Canada is known simply as Thanksgiving — or action de grâce! if you’re fancy. It’s never called “Canadian Thanksgiving.” Natio... | Continue reading
Thank you, esteemed senators, for setting aside four full days to verbally waterboard me — or, in the Republicans’ case, to fawn over my CV and mak... | Continue reading
Back when I started “social distancing,” there wasn’t even a term for it. I mean, I’ve never been into major labels. I first got into doing it when... | Continue reading
1. Lying2. Waiting3. Pondering4. Recollection of Recent Mistakes5. “Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of…)”6. Annoyance7. Realization that This Could... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Art by Matt Smith- - -Now thing is, the Vikings were all ovah the fuckin’ place a thousand yee’ahs ago. I mean these guys got ‘round, n’ it wasn’... | Continue reading
VICE-PRESIDENTIAL DEBATEKINGSBURY HALLSALT LAKE CITY, UTOCTOBER 7, 2020- - -9:04 PM: Susan Page of USA Today opens the debate like a college fr... | Continue reading
“We’ve spent two point five trillion dollars over the term…in office, my term. That’s over three and a half years two point five… think of that, tw... | Continue reading
One ill-timed coughA guy standing five feet awaySeasonal allergiesA gender-reveal partyA nearly-empty toilet paper rollThe P-wordThe letter Q... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
“There are two wolves inside you,” said the old man. “They are fighting to the death. One is anger, one is love.”“Which one will win?” said the bo... | Continue reading
Hi Nicole,We haven’t received your rent for September, so I just wanted to check-in with you. Here at 10 Chernobyl Lane, our residents’ happiness ... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.- - -Early in President ... | Continue reading
“Why Pee?” – Girl in my 5th-grade class“Yipee!” – Girl in my 9th-grade class“Iman” – Girl in my 11th-grade Oxbridge program who was a part-time m... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading