Hallow-Scream

'Twas the night before Halloween And all through the bakery 'Twere this stuff: And this stuff: And all kinds of fakery: ("Happy CHALLAH-ween! Haha! See what I did there? Eh? EH??" "Stop talking.") The sperm ghosts were piped onto basketballs with care: But we're p … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Sunday Sweets: 10 Halloween Cuties

Halloween is coming, minions, but not to worry; today we're all about Sweets, not scares.Let's set the stage with some cheerful Jack-O-Lanterns: (By Yener's Way) A baby bat or two: (By Madhouse Bakes) ...and an oh-so adorable witch: (By il Mondo di Ielle) Which remind … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Killer Thrillers (HEEhee!)

[howling wind][howling dog][howling wind and dog together][plus a sprinkling of light rattling chains]Darkness falls across the land... … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

This Is Halloween. (No, Really.)

Greetings, bakers! This handy guide will demonstrate how easy it is to turn your bakery's plain stock cakes into fabulously frightening Halloween designs.Ready?Then let's get started!First, nothing says "Halloween!" like a sprinkling of candy corn: … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

With This Wreck, I Thee Wed

It seems I never fail to underestimate your insatiable desire for wedding wreckage. And sprinkles. You guys always want sprinkles.Two birds? Meet your stone: Sha-POW!Not crumby enough for you? Try this: Because naked wedding cakes have more Funfetti."Ooh, you guys, I've g … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

What's This?

Earlier today John had the song "What's This?" from Nightmare Before Christmas stuck in his head.After looking at these Wrecks, now *I* do.What's this? What's this?There's color everywhere What's this?There's white things in the air What's this? It's orange and so hai … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

YOU'RE WELCOME, INTERNET

If you're online a lot you've probably run across the word "Spoopy." I kept seeing it on Twitter and Instagram, and finally - because I'm old - decided to google it.Ladies and ghouls, it is with no small amount of pride that I present Google's official result/definition when you … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Sunday Sweets Gets SPOOPY

I'm on a spoopy kick now.:DAnd by "spoopy" I of course mean all things creepy, spine-tingling, and delicious. Extra bonus: everything today would be perfect for themed weddings. That's right:AW YEAH HALLOWEEN WEDDING CAKES!!! Let's do this. (By Miss Ladybird Cakes) Starting … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Hold Your Horses, Brides-To-Be

The day Jen and Nick truly became one:  That moment when … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Talk About Your Trunk Space, Check THIS Action Out!

Amanda ordered a Western cake to make any cowboy proud: … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Sarcasm "Awareness" Month

Over the years, I've noticed some of you don't "get" sarcasm. Which I totally understand! I mean, sarcasm is super hard. Really.So. Let me help. Because I care. I really, really care.Okay, let's say your company didn't meet a deadline, and they're going out of business.You might … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

You Say Potato, I Say Potato, Your Baker Draws a Llama

This was supposed to read, "You'll Never Walk Alone" So … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

The Far Side of Cake, Vol. 12

As the bees closed in, Pooh and Tigger realized they'd made a horrible mistake. … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Sunday Sweets Would Like A Word

Tomorrow is National Dictionary Day, folks, so what better way to use our words than with beautiful cakes?After all, cakes can say so much.They can talk about what's important: (By Mea Sculpture Cake Design)Share what's in your heart: (By Nashville Sweets)...and do it in … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

The Times Of Wreckerators' Lives

There are moments we cherish, and then there are moments like these: When the customer asks for music notes and you're all, "I'VE GOT THIS." … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

6 Signs Halloween Is Coming

There's a chill in the air, minions, and not just from your in-law's latest text.Nope, Fall is here, and with it, all the classic signs: - Bad Apples: … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Kelley With Only One Eye

Somehow literal LOLs just never get old.I mean, how can you NOT imagine this baker's thought process as s/he carefully inscribed, "Kelley with an eye"? … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Marital Miss

 What They Wanted: What They Got: … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Purse Your Lips

"Encounter In A NYC Alley"A play in one act.***"Hey pretty lady, how 'bout a genuine Prawda hand bag? … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Sunday Sweets Takes A Liking For Vikings

Tomorrow is Leif Erickson Day, time to celebrate one of the world's best-known Vikings! (By Sweet Delisse) Of course, *I* don't know much about Leif Erickson, so I'm going to get a little help from our old friend, the Internet. Let's see...There once was a Viking named Eric t … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

YAY FOR TATAS!!

Ahem.[adjusting glasses] October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This is a time to raise awareness, celebrate our survivors, and work together towards finding a cure for this horrible disease.And also butcher some pink ribbon cakes.Like so: … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

IT'S COMING

Beware, foolish mortals; the day is coming! A day that s … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

No Offense

Since our posts here on CW invariably manage to offend someone, we've decided that *today's* commentary won't be offensive to anyone. Literally. In fact, it's going to be SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjHuh? What? Wh … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

What Happens in Vegas...

A spontaneous Vegas wedding calls for a momentous celebratory dessert. Something festive. Something memorable.Something...spelled correctly. … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Instant Manliness®!!!

Are you tired of girly cakes? Does the sight of icing flowers disgust you? Are you afraid all of your birthday cakes are doomed to look like this? … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Sunday Sweets: Half And Half

We're getting the ultimate twofer this week, cake fans, because today is all about half-and-half wedding cakes! You know, the ones that are Traditional in the front, Party in the back? [By Just Simply Delicious in North Carolina] It's like a mullet, only not in every conceiva … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Name That Wreck!

I think we can all agree that if your name is pronounced "Elizabeth" but spelled with three "I"s and a silent "Q", then you void your right to complain when a baker gets it wrong.However, there are times when you think the baker might have stopped to question somewhere along the … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

And Now, A Crappy Song From Aladdin

I can show you poo swirls Shiny, glistening, fetid!Wreckerator, just when did you cast all good taste aside? I can open your eyes Take you blunder... ... by bluuuunder Cakey dreams torn asunder as the giant cupcake sighs.Day glow poo swiiiiiirls A new, … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

The Punctuation Gotham Deserves

And now...Punctuation Tips From Professional Bakers... 1) Always put punctuation at the end of a sentence. Unless you forget or think it looks better this way. I like it.2) Quotation marks are perfect for emphasizing you don't understand quotation marks. "Good" job!3) T … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Swing And A "Mist"

We here at Cake Wrecks know parting can be such sweet sorrow.So here are 9 cakes to ruin the moment. Oh great, here come the water works. Maybe it's wissful thinking, but Luek sounds hot. Be afraid. Be very afraid. This wreck is evil, like the "furits" of the "Dv … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Sunday Sweets: It's Fall, Y'all!

The weather down here in Florida may not have gotten the memo yet, but fall is officially upon us. So let's celebrate! (By McGreevy Cakes) Pumpkins, pumpkins, everywhere - and this time I'm not complaining! Love the raffia border between the two tiers, and check out that gorg … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Expectation VS Wreck-ality

What They Wanted: What They Got: Oh dear. As we say in the South, "GOBRESS their heart."Christina ordered a really gorgeous Frozen design: ...but unfortunately her own cake fell flat: Maybe it's just cold?(Bah dum CHA.)And finally, you've really got to respect a b … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

And Now, A Demon Dog For A Five-Year-Old

Iiiiit's almost Friday, minions!Isn't that great news, "Demon Dog For A Five-Year-Old?" ::gutteral snarling:: Aw, I guess he can't hear me over all the screaming.Actually, looks like it's been a pretty rough week all 'round for 5-year-old girls: Can YOU say, "creepy anato … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Wreckage Most Foul

Hey bakers, I'm thinking birds today.Whaddaya got? I see....what else ya got? ::squints:: ::head tilt:: AAAAAAAAAAA!AND WHAT IS A "PENQUIN?" Never mind.I think the important take-away here, minions, is that even when you don't give a hoot, you can still give... a … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

I COULD Be Wrong... But I Think That's Photoshop

It's time again for "John Photoshops Cakes Poorly!"::jazz hands:: "As my decorator always says, 'If ya gotta go, go with a smile.'" - or - "Do I look like I'm joking?" - or - "Never rub another man's rhubarb!" - or - "This cake needs an enema!"****** ::dramatic music swel … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Now THIS Is Ironic

It's like "celabrate" On your literacy day: It's a "great job" On a depressing cake. It's the good advice That you just didn't take couldn't spell! And who would have thought? It figures! Thanks to Melissa S., Wilma S., M.K., Teresa, & Jennifer B. for our … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

10 Enchanted Garden Cakes That Are Pure Magic

My friends, rather than dwell on how TERRIBLE I am at keeping plants alive, I've decided to look at this in a positive light: I'm really good at killing plants.Another positive?I can't kill these! (Mina Bakalova, Bulgaria) AND LOOK HOW PRETTY. These colors make me so happy. A … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

About That STD Video...

There's this new Winnie-the-Pooh deco kit going around, and, uh... That's right. Take it alllll in:The ship's anchor, slithering through the grass. Next to the balloon, also slithering through the grass. Next to the... smashed... spider?And through it all, Pooh and Tigger... … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Homophoning It In

...and some lost?(I love that you can clearly tell the W is the "fixed" version. What do you think it said before? "Juan"?)(Great, now I desperately want to see a "Some Juan Is Having A Birthday" cake. YOUR MOVE, Juans of the world.) Now is the "Are" of our discontent. How m … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Painfully Honest Cakes

Remember, kids, if you can't say anything nice... ...say it with cake.There’s nothing like good ol’ fashioned honesty, but before you go dropping those truth bombs, let's take a look at some ways you can be completely honest but still somewhat polite: And my personal favo … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

I Mustache You A Question

It's the follicle sensation that's sweeping the nation: MUSTACHES!That's right, bakers: Mustaches make everything friendlier and more approachable and not at all creepy! "Psst. Hey. You. "You wanna candy cane?"Not to mention more appetizing! (Yes, those are supposed to be … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Under The Sea With No-Face Cinderella

When Cassie asked her bakery if they could draw Ariel and Flounder on a cookie cake for her...... they said yes.Then Cassie showed them this picture: ... and they STILL said they could do it.See, that was your first warning sign, Cassie. This was your second.Still, at lea … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Love Inks: 11 Tattoo Sweets!

Today’s theme is Tattoo Sweets and if you thought that theme might pose a challenge when looking for gorgeous cakes, think again. (Nevie-Pie Cakes, England) There are so many fantastic tattoo Sweets out there! (Crazy Sweets by Theresa Täubrich, Germany) Jaw, dropped.I've … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

You Won't BELIEVE How Desperate These Click Bait Headlines Are

No matter how I rail against our Facebook overlords, the truth is we really depend on the traffic we get from my daily updates over there - even with FB only showing my posts to about 6% of you. :/So to make the most of it, John keeps pushing me to make my Facebook posts more "en … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

The Far Side Of Cake, Vol 13

The Far Side of Cake, Vol 13 Unfortunately for Carl, some things were NOT lost in translation. … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

It's Like Beer Goggles For People With Dirty Minds

We all start out so innocent. Every kid loves balloons, … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

This'll Cure That Freaky Fetish

Well, not THAT one - what do you take me for, a miracle-worker? Sheesh.No, I mean the one with the footsies. And don't try to deny it, 'cuz I know you're out there: loitering around the pedicure station, being overly helpful at the Payless, getting WAY too excited about peep-toe … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago

Dial-A-Wreck

Remember how we all loved the game "Telephone" in kindergarten? Well, add in a cake, and the fun never stops!This order was for a "black high heel": (It's a hill, people. Get it?)Specifying punctuation is always tricky: Although I suppose if Aunt flashed Mom that would li … | Continue reading


@cakewrecks.com | 1 year ago