So I read an article today that I just had to share. And by “share,” I mean “rant about with the fire of a thousand sleep-deprived dragons.” This woman—let’s call her Lucy (cause, I mean, that’s her name)—is genuinely proud that her kids behave like caffeinated raccoons in public … | Continue reading
I know customer service reps are just doing their jobs, but let’s be honest – some of them hate their jobs as much as I hate calling them. Which is probably why they answer the phone like I personally ran over their dog. The hold music alone is enough to break a person, but when … | Continue reading
Ah, the rare weekend when I have the whole house to myself. No noise, no interruptions – just me, basking in the glorious silence. It’s peaceful. Until I get hungry. Because that means cooking. And cooking for just me? That’s a one-person comedy show, except I’m both the struggli … | Continue reading
You ever witness a crime so egregious, so fundamentally unhinged, that you question whether the person responsible has ever interacted with society before? My daughter – my own flesh and blood – makes her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by putting the jelly on the bread first. … | Continue reading
You know that sinking feeling that hits right around 9 p.m. on a Sunday? The weekend’s gone, and you’re left clutching the crumbs of joy like the last sad Pringle at the bottom of the can. You spent two glorious days pretending responsibilities don’t exist, and now? Now the loomi … | Continue reading
Every Friday, I make big weekend plans. Productive plans. Proper adult plans. Plans that suggest I’m the kind of person who “makes the most of their time.” I will deep clean the apartment, finally organize that junk drawer (or, let’s be honest, junk room), and maybe – just maybe … | Continue reading
Ah, it’s that time of year again. The sun’s out, the temperatures are rising, and people are flocking to the gym like it’s some sort of religious pilgrimage. Yes, the annual quest for the elusive “beach body” is upon us. But as someone whose body is permanently in festive mode, I … | Continue reading
Well, well, well. Today we’re dusting off the vinyl record of double standards with Dion, the original king of mixed messages. First up, we’ve got “The Wanderer,” a bouncy little number about a guy who treats women like drive-thru orders – grab it, eat it, toss the wrapper out th … | Continue reading
Ah, St. Patrick’s Day. That time of year when Americans go absolutely feral for anything vaguely Irish – green beer, shamrock sunglasses, and attempting an Irish accent that, let’s be honest, sounds like a leprechaun who’s had a stroke. One of my favorite traditions is how certai … | Continue reading
Every once in a while, I dip my toes back into the murky waters of online dating. It always ends the same way – with me opening a bottle of Baileys, pouring it straight into my cereal, and muttering, “Well, I guess men are just feral now.” It’s honestly impressive how fast some o … | Continue reading
Tuesdays are the middle child of the work week. Some might think it’s Wednesday, but no. Monday – everyone hates Mondays. Wednesday – Hump Day, the week is on the decline. Woo! Thursday – almost Friday, like being next in line at the grocery store. Double woo! Friday… enough said … | Continue reading
I saw Jaws as a kid, and it changed me. Not in a deep, meaningful way – just in an “I still check swimming pools for sharks” way. Above-ground pool? Checked. Hotel pool? Double-checked. Bathtub? Not yet, but give me time. Because the day a shark does turn up in someone’s jacuzzi, … | Continue reading
I went for a massage the other day – wanted to treat myself, you know? Full disclosure, I don’t think I actually like massages. Don’t ask me why I went. I have no idea. I like the idea of a massage – like how I also like the idea of exercise, meal prepping, and flossing […] | Continue reading
There comes a moment in every person’s life when they realize, with the kind of shock usually reserved for horror movie basements, that they are, in fact, an adult. My moment? The day I found myself aggressively lecturing an empty room about the concept of electricity bills. Spec … | Continue reading
Dish towels are the unsung heroes of the kitchen. They wipe our hands, clean up spills, and occasionally double as makeshift oven mitts when we forget that 400-degree metal is, in fact, hot. Yet, in my house, they are treated less like functional items and more like an endangered … | Continue reading
Ah, finally – there’s a word for me. All this time, I thought I was just cranky and fueled by spite, but no – I’m a Terrorkobold. It’s nice to have an official diagnosis… I mean, title. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some unsuspecting villagers to glare at. Terrorkobold (n., Ge … | Continue reading
If I’m ever murdered, it will be because I said something absolutely perfect to someone with no sense of humor. . | Continue reading
You’d think bedtime would be simple, right? Just climb into bed, snuggle up, and drift off to sleep. But nope. The reality is more like a long, drawn-out drama that takes 45 minutes – and that’s on a good night. And no, I’m not exaggerating. I thought that after my kids were grow … | Continue reading
Binge-watching: the modern-day marathon where the only medal is dark circles under your eyes and an inexplicable craving for popcorn at 3 a.m. It’s a fine line we walk, isn’t it? One minute, you’re casually watching a show to unwind after a long day, and the next, you’re three se … | Continue reading
Horror movies. You either love them or you’re currently hiding under a blanket because of one. They’re thrilling, they’re terrifying, and they’re absolute rubbish when it comes to teaching you anything practical about home security. If you follow horror movie logic, your house wi … | Continue reading
I’ve been sick, and that means staying home and doing nothing except wallowing in my misery. And I don’t mean the elegant, swooning kind of misery you see in films. No, I’m talking about the pajamas-24/7, bedhead-spectacular, eating-cookies-straight-from-the-packet type of misery … | Continue reading
While the world is busy with *gestures vaguely*, I’ve decided to focus on something truly baffling: expiration dates. Because why worry about global chaos when I can obsess over whether my yogurt is trying to kill me? Expiration dates are one of life’s great mysteries. They’re pr … | Continue reading
Reality TV is a universe where everything is brighter, shinier, and completely bananas. I’ve got the bananas part down, but the rest? Not so much. Take any cooking show, for example. Strangers are thrown into a kitchen and within minutes are plating foie gras with a reduction sau … | Continue reading
Men always wonder why women go to the bathroom in pairs. They think it’s so we can talk about the date, gossip about that woman at the other table, or swap lipstick like some kind of seedy cosmetic cartel. Spoiler alert: none of that is true. The real reason we team up? Public ba … | Continue reading
Let’s talk horror stories, and no, I’m not talking about the Trump administration or the time your coworker microwaved week-old fish in the breakroom. I’m talking about movies that are supposed to scare the crap out of you, but instead you’re left rolling your eyes so hard you en … | Continue reading
I hope you’re keeping warm, staying hydrated, and enjoying snacks at regular intervals. Personally, I’m at that winter weather stage where fluffy socks are non-negotiable, and the electric blanket is my new best friend. Glamorous, I know. Well, it’s almost that time of year again … | Continue reading
I came across a headline recently that stopped me mid-scroll: “Miniature Black Holes Could Be Hiding in Your Home.” Naturally, my first thought was, “That explains everything!” My house, you see, is like the Bermuda Triangle of homes. Socks vanish with such alarming regularity th … | Continue reading
Here’s hoping you got more than coal! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays – enjoy! . | Continue reading
Ah, Christmas Eve. The stockings are hung, the tree is lit (and let’s face it, so am I), and the house smells like a strange mix of pine needles and something someone left in the oven a little too long. It’s the time of year when we gather with family, share laughter, and – if [… … | Continue reading
Ah, Christmas Eve Eve—a day so perfectly nestled between the hustle of December 22nd and the bustle of December 24th that it feels like a forgotten middle child of the holiday season. And what better way to celebrate this underrated gem of a day than with a carefully curated movi … | Continue reading
I’ve been thinking a lot about the movie Harvey lately. It’s that time of year I always do a rewatch. If you’re unfamiliar – first of all, what’s wrong with you? Second, let me introduce you to the absolute gem of a film that is Harvey. It’s my favorite movie. Not just my favorit … | Continue reading
Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when the air is filled with the frosty whisper of winter, the scent of cinnamon, and the unmistakable sound of your own sanity unraveling like cheap wrapping paper. No one escapes December unscathed, but don’t worry – you’re not alone. … | Continue reading
Listen, I don’t hate people. That’s too harsh. I dislike people. Strongly. And if there’s one thing the holidays do, it’s cram as many people as possible into one place to see just how far my dislike can stretch before it snaps into full-blown curmudgeon mode. Take Bath & Body Wo … | Continue reading
Hello, my lovely readers! You might have noticed I’ve been missing in action for a bit. Don’t be jealous, I wasn’t off gallivanting around in some fabulous location, unless you count a hospital bed as “fabulous” (spoiler alert: it’s not). You see, life threw me a plot twist that … | Continue reading
It’s been a little over a year since we lost Shaylee, and I swear, the Ne’er-do-well hasn’t been the same since. It’s like her age finally caught up to her, all at once. Which kind of makes sense, I guess—Shaylee was 16 when she passed, and Holly was 15… 16 now. They grew up toge … | Continue reading
Ah, Thanksgiving! A time for reflection, gratitude, and, in this house, the annual screening of Wednesday Addams’ Pilgrim Roast. Why? Because some traditions deserve a seat at the grown-up table. And, hey, with the political climate these days, Wednesday’s fiery monologue about o … | Continue reading
I’m sorry to break the bad news. . | Continue reading
You know the old saying, “Never ask a lady her age?” Well, I’ve never been accused of being a lady, but I still won’t be spilling the beans. However, let’s just say I was a member of the first generation of wide-eyed girls who got swept up in Flowers in the Attic. Oh, those gothi … | Continue reading
So, I read a story that put me in kind of a rant-y mood, and now I’m going to share it with you, my lovely readers. Lucky you! Okay, so let’s break down this wild tale of gym-door heroism because, apparently, a man held a door open, and the world itself crumbled under the weight … | Continue reading
Sunday often means chore day for me. It’s the day I usually morph into a grumbling, begrudging domestic warrior armed with rubber gloves and a bottle of spray cleaner. And for what? To clean the same mess I just cleaned last week. It’s like living in a house with a poltergeist wh … | Continue reading
I’m old enough to remember when gelatin salad wasn’t just something you brought up on TikTok for a laugh but an actual staple on the dinner table. It was the Swiss Army knife of 60s and 70s cuisine — equal parts food, centerpiece, and science experiment. I mean, who looked at a w … | Continue reading
I hate when people ask me what I did today. I don’t know. I breathed a lot. Probably got mad at something. Sighed heavily more than once. Okay, probably more like 5,354 times, if I’m being completely honest. But you know… people. Had a thrilling debate with the cat about why she … | Continue reading
I choose Love. I choose Inclusion. I choose Empathy. Compassion. Equality. Dignity. Diversity. I choose Community. Kindness. Integrity. Honesty. Respect. I choose Justice. I choose Facts. Peace. The Planet. I choose Humanity. I choose Love. . | Continue reading
Picture this: I’m at the supermarket, looking like I’ve just been dragged through a hedge backwards. Twice. You know the look – hair’s a mess, no makeup, wearing clothes that scream, “I’ve given up today.” And then it happens. Across the cereal aisle, I spot them. Someone I sort … | Continue reading
I’ve spent the last week in full Halloween prep mode, ready for the doorbell to ring nonstop with miniature ghosts, superheroes, and probably three million little Spidermans (Spidermen?). I stocked up on candy like a responsible adult – Kit Kats, Snickers, Reese’s—enough chocolat … | Continue reading
You know what I love about working from home? The freedom to dress for success… or, more accurately, to dress for snacks and naps. Honestly, my wardrobe is 90% pajamas these days, and the other 10% is just the stuff I put on when I can’t avoid leaving the house. But let’s be hone … | Continue reading
Ah, my fitness tracker. My constant companion. My digital drill sergeant. Judge, jury, and executioner of my self-esteem. I don’t know why I put myself through this to be honest. If I wanted constant judgment about my body and the neat little zings to my mental well-being, you’d … | Continue reading
I was scrolling through my phone’s photo album today – because obviously, I was looking for cat videos – and stumbled across this little gem I’d saved way back in July. I’d completely forgotten about it. But trust me, once you see it, you’ll understand why I had to save it just t … | Continue reading