Freddie, For so long you held on, I can finally admit that and put the blame on myself. I can’t be regretful now it’ll demean what I felt, I can’t apologise when moments we spent together gave you a lifeline to walk a little further with me. I, I don’t know what to say. Lately,… … | Continue reading
The pain I thought would last longer, somehow, no, not somehow;after just some time,is not as choking as I thought it would be.It’s more like a looming cloud,turning grey on certain days—with thunderstorms, the lightning keeping me awake—and becoming a fluff on other days,and I’d … | Continue reading
I found a favorite pocket. It’s warm and I can’t believeit belongs to me. And the world has suddenly becomean interesting place. Sometimes, I’m smiling sillyall by myself because,I found a person I think of without knowing. This little things,I’m alone at night and Iwant to see h … | Continue reading
So gone is the 3rd grade girl,“Mama, tomorrow is casual day is school.”Or if I had a mama,My voice would be horse from laughterPerhaps… not direct, I’m a mama now,and the longing of a motherless childare out to bed,I give the wishes to my girlwho rolls her eyes often. Life if is … | Continue reading
for my sanity. 😂😂 How reckless… | Continue reading
I don’t know who’s talking. Certainly not me. 😑 | Continue reading
The whole time, my head is bobbing and my lips won’t stop moving. 😩 | Continue reading
if the room tilts, and I don’t blinkbut find myself a laughter, who has forgotten and wheredo I find myself? perhaps laughter mixed with cynicismthe wishes of a ten year old…twenty year old…thirty year old… I blinked, and how manyyears have passed?there’s a pause. the stagnant ai … | Continue reading
a torrent has comethe sun harbours willing tearsI long for happiness It blossoms, the pain. More like the sun, peeking slowly and glaring out its might. Sometimes it’s gentle, like a reminder, the eye of a needle and other times it erupts, searing and unbearable. I have to catch … | Continue reading
Father, the world is beautifulisn’t it? It has water,water with many coloursand leaves, the red onesnot roses I’d say,the single ones… I, I’m idle… I want to lovebut there’s silence,how can it be? I said to myself,beauty is perhaps a truth ofmany shades yet,I succumb to it,it’s a … | Continue reading
I hurt from emptyblue sky’s promising lookyet I’m still waiting. | Continue reading
when I told himI told himtold himhim, my voice broke,like yesterday, if my memoriesof him aren’tthe truth and I keep lookingkeep lookinglooking, only to see,it wasn’t yesterday,a year has passed. my nails are broken,yet they’re not dirtyas though I’ve been bitingbeen bitingbiting … | Continue reading
mind overwrittennaive nature, wind crushesbeauty is hard found | Continue reading
this winter was oddly harsh and longas my neighbor would say around thefire while staring at me, yet not, my mother sat there the year past, oddly harsh, when I’m not trying toremember or look to my left. I’m left alone. emptiness with memories,if I laugh alone, am I a sincere pe … | Continue reading
begin with me, please begin,at the end of the tunnel alreadyyet i suck my fingers when i’m unawareand there’s temptation to twirlmy hair when i discovera fruit sweeter than mango,life and the falling leaves.my palm has been itching, too much so,it’s stayed clenched even in my sle … | Continue reading
mercy, mercy, the soundof a last pleafrom the depths of a soulthat wanted to be the prettiest womanyet found the worldis ever smiling,forever welcomingbut inside this massive worldthere’s only smokea void enough to engulfmy vision, however narrowthe vision had been, this worldhas … | Continue reading
my palm withstood the temptationof love, of grieve, of promise as crumbling as liferemembered to piece me backto the beginning of it all, the very essence of timeand my name, its originif it were meant for a girl or boy, my palm grasped this being,the elusive nature of contentmen … | Continue reading
I want to know,where my hand as a lovershould go if the moonis holding my feelings captive, The said lover,if her voice is hoarsecannot call out your namewith tinged intimacy, My prairie,you want to hold me within your warmthyet I’m elusiveeven a breath away, This jade,tell me ho … | Continue reading
Lover,the left side of the bedmight be the sun’s heavy lidded gazewhen the light is about to leave,who’s to say,I miss you, I missed you,yet I’ll only open my eyesor try to close themwhen there’s cold air near me. And I say I love you,a million times, if my thoughts are included, … | Continue reading
love my nightingaleabused by my scornful loveryet cannot cry foul. | Continue reading
silence akin tothe humming birds away fromour rose colored life. | Continue reading
embrace me when nighas morning is our blanketsad song awaiting. | Continue reading
left hand withstandingas the sky roars over lovebut I’m cracked open. | Continue reading
Dearie, torment would be welcomed had there been a sun, a silent sun; the Mondays when I missed sunrise or my back held me to the mattress forcefully; I work for my children, who will work for their children and this family’s legacy… I broke up with your father, we’ll call him th … | Continue reading
I met GodJust for a minuteSat in his houseTook a look aroundAnd saw I didn’t fit in I tried love(I tried love)Gave me something to believe in(Gave me something to believe in)Planning futures from the startGiving pieces of my heartJust to end up leaving(Just to end up leaving) Am … | Continue reading
I refined the verses of my life, a whispered sigh.I defined the blanks in my memory, a gentle sigh. Say there are days I forgot, a grey cluster.Nothingness, perhaps, grey by rain, an empty sigh. I ran into my neighbor, a fleeting shadow.No, my classmate, no… a lost sigh. The girl … | Continue reading
Many years agoat the back of Motlhabanethe lonely mountain, abundant rocks,the color of grandma’s milky eyesand her white hair, tales of the old, perhapsthe tale of my old,I was young, a young womanwith pesky breastseen through the sheer of my shirt, My daddy, the alcoholicMy mam … | Continue reading
Winter’s biting cold and my love is red, how believable I’ll be then, red for life… But I came from hell on earth, red turned my love. I bite whoever is near, life and red, intertwining. Believe me this once, “I will change,” hence the red of my love, Vibrance and the thunderstor … | Continue reading
Should I tell you,I like the colours of sunsets the most. My heart skips a beatand it starts to sing. “Pretty, how beautiful…Perhaps there is God” it says, my heart. And I’m not lonely,loneliness shies away from me, I feel myself a person,tiny as she is, a person alive in this wo … | Continue reading
My lover knows my name by heart. When watching the day say goodbyeand a new one arrive together, my name on his lips; as the sun blinks its eyes shut,the kaleidoscope colours of twilightreflecting themes of our love,and as the sun blinks its eyes awake,is a prayer. The gates of h … | Continue reading
If you would have me,my clothes aren’t torn. I’ve lived for ages and beenbut my skin isn’t torn. When the world scattered the beesI crawled back inside my cave, torn. Hold me by my prayer, Lee –and hear my voice tear. I love you, I will love you,and have me this torn. There you w … | Continue reading
Originally Published February 2, 2021 If, when I look backCould I catch those tears? I missed a step.Turn, I overdid a stepIf, maybe parallelCould I take that step? Lie, this isI woke upBut yesterday, those tearsI’d heldYet here, my eyes aren’t dryI woke. Lies, everythingIf, when … | Continue reading
Counting days, counting daysSince my love up and got lost on meAnd every breath that I’ve been takin’Since you left feels like a waste on me I’ve been holding on to hopeThat you’ll come back when you can find some peace‘Cause every word that I’ve heard spokenSince you left feels … | Continue reading
There’s a woman selling fruitsby the road, She smiles at me every morningand tells me to come to her when I need help, My young mind wondered what help I’d need,I smile softly at that naivety. I didn’t know kiwi beforethen kids at school pointed their little fingersat me, I remem … | Continue reading
By the time the door closedI woke from my stupor. The rush of giddiness,unbelievable sweet nectar of‘I did this,’ I stood my ground amidstthe many memories of myselfleering and clawing at my white dress,wanting to drink of my glass, Yet, I’m aging… yes, I am.I’m standing strong a … | Continue reading
Says me to the girl I leftat my house yesterday,the girl oddly enough went to my motherand asked her if her daughterwould ever come home; “How the sun has risen today,I forgot you were ever me.” And this is not to say I shed layers of skinsoon as I leave the house or forgetto pic … | Continue reading
Father, are my thank yous sparsebetween our mangled moments -from my heart than yours – as you’reforever silent that,these days, you’ve closed your eyes to myplayful glance and my silly smilethat I longed to see the moon clearand the wind lighthearted? Have I been barging to you … | Continue reading
I bought you a ring afterI heard your voice that time. Unbelievable?‘Chuckle…!” When you smiled at mefor the first timeand I saw your canine teeth, I wondered if I’d lived beforeand died yearning for that grace. If I knew beauty before then you,you were reality, Much like your di … | Continue reading
Say love, as we are nowamongst those in historywho found themselves bythe banks of this storm,this elusive mongrel,and you’re drawn in such a way,Your eyes searching; I used to be there with you,our fingers interlocked. Perhaps it is such,You’re fumbling for your lovewhile your l … | Continue reading
Father, I’m here again after my last,what is it called?Prideful exit. I find myself on my kneesat the end of my bed,wearing the dress of last night,perhaps my favorite for the memoriesattached to it, the caress it gives.The touch of having belonged at a time,a time of laughter an … | Continue reading
I will have you know,I’ll have you beholdthe birth of my astoundingachievements; like the rising sun… “He he he” – sneakily. I’m a woman before a daughter,and this woman is herself before a wife,so on… but, In words of the old, or the new,I’m beginning to too be a woman beforea m … | Continue reading
Lady before the fall of a house,I have with me a cup of water…drinkable water. I come, come before youas I heard your wail from afar andsomehow astounded as I I’ve heard it before, Before happened to be myself,coincidently too a lady who lost a house. Isn’t the world truly a boar … | Continue reading
Originally posted in July 2021. I’m not brokenI refute itSee, my mother didn’t scold meMy father bought bought me clothes,How can I be swallowed byThe worldWhen I don’t remember my firstGlimpse of it?I don’t accept. I’m smiling now,Crying alone you seeAnd catching my own tearsHas … | Continue reading
Originally Published in July 2020. You were writtenin my destinyOnly as the skyUntouchable I can admire youYour presenceOnly never be withUntouchable When you are a starI am not the darkIn my world to be seenUntouchable To fly would beFeel your presenceOnly never beWith you prese … | Continue reading
Eventually, silence became a mistressin our house.I’d look at my hands while he’d look towardsthe door.Aside from little snippets like, “Will you be home for dinner?”and the bands on our fingers,we’d be separate paintings within our four walls,I — on a white couch — and he —miles … | Continue reading
The lover I had back then,from the prelude before my lashes fell,back when my lips’ dew was innocence, I met a boy, a man todaystill remembered by my maiden heart,the boy of still eyes as thoughhe was a man many colours couldn’tencase, When I called him in my crawling voice,he’d … | Continue reading
And I find I’m not broken bytradition, but simply want to unfurlmy wings from the pattern ofbeing human, whilst maintainingsimplicity. | Continue reading