I am not a huge alcohol drinker. Even during college, I wasn’t exactly a big partier. The college I went to doesn’t even have its own sororities. T... | Continue reading
1. “The ads are the worst part about it.”2. “Why do I need to spend money in order to buy more money?”3. “I don’t feel comfortable about these ki... | Continue reading
1.LIEUTENANT DAVIDSON: We got another call about that bar down on 3rd Street.HERO: AW, COME ON! What the conk, Lieutenant! Johnson’s out there th... | Continue reading
As an aspiring politician who loves this country and greatly admires our Founding Fathers, I cannot help but point out the areas where they were a ... | Continue reading
Wash and sterilize used bottles.Take out the trash bag full of dirty diapers.Start a load of laundry for the third time this week.Why is there s... | Continue reading
- - -Dave Eggers’s new short story, The Museum of Rain is a testament to family, a ballad to leisurely walking in nature, and a reflection on the ... | Continue reading
July 10, 1968Dear Mr. Schulz,Do you know what it’s like to wander through life, having no significant conversations and participating in no signi... | Continue reading
“Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin on Sunday defended his decision to vote against a sweeping voting rights bill and reiterated his opposition to gutting... | Continue reading
We’re so glad that we were able to catch you the instant you listed your house on Zillow. My wife and I knew it would pay off to stalk the website ... | Continue reading
Hey, man! It’s been a while. What a year, huh? Really nice to be able to see people again. Sorry, am I talking weird? I’m not? Oh good. I’m a littl... | Continue reading
Before you begin, have bandages of several sizes handy, even if you are just repairing a teddy bear.You will find your manual for the broken unit,... | Continue reading
Dylan ThomasDonut, go gentle into that good night:In middle-age, I beg you, stay away.I can’t afford to take another bite.Although you’ve helpe... | Continue reading
As many offices return to in-person work, some women are concerned about reverting to the pre-pandemic white-collar norms that perpetuated inequali... | Continue reading
We’re sad to see you go. If you have a moment, will you please tell us why you unsubscribed? Please? Failure to do so will cancel your request.1. ... | Continue reading
Your first OBGYN visit“On your first visit to the OBGYN, you will receive information about the facilities, the birth team, and undergo an ultraso... | Continue reading
Your Gen X loved ones have survived so much: the Cold War, latchkey childhoods, mosh pits, COVIDs-19-through-27. They were born into a world withou... | Continue reading
Having knowledge in STEM is critical, and there is no better time to start a child’s journey into STEM than right now. Enough weirdos have said thi... | Continue reading
Huddle up, team. Has anyone seen that rectangular board thing that coaches use for doodles and other coaching stuff? Ah, here it is. Now trust me w... | Continue reading
Beaver of Fine Arts: Your Biggest Fan Called and She Wants You Home Before Dinner | Continue reading
This user manual will guide you in the application of remote state high-stakes testing. To ensure successful test administration for your district’... | Continue reading
You're Not Going to Just Throw Me Away, Are You? | Continue reading
John Brandon’s new novel, Ivory Shoals, is his fifth book — joining the novels Arkansas, Citrus County, A Million Heavens , and the story collecti... | Continue reading
Hey dude! How’s it going?! It’s me, someone you vaguely remember from high school, and I wanted to check your interest in joining this pyramid sche... | Continue reading
It feels weird and cold where my mask used to be. Is this normal?It’s normal to feel uncomfortable without a mask in public after wearing one for ... | Continue reading
It feels weird and cold where my mask used to be. Is this normal?It’s normal to feel uncomfortable without a mask in public after wearing one for ... | Continue reading
Everyone! This coming weekend, there’s going to be a big gathering of people! The big gathering of people will be in a neighborhood! This will be t... | Continue reading
“Amy Cooper, a white woman who last year became a symbol of the routine racism that Black people face in their daily lives, is suing her former emp... | Continue reading
NAME: Whitman, WalterPhysician Notes: Goes by “Walt.”ADDRESS: The GrassNotes: Is this a housing development? Clarify with patient.AGE:I, no... | Continue reading
Bedtime TeaFrom our family to yours, enjoy our perfectly crafted bedtime tea made with soothing chamomile and a touch of relaxing lavender.Bedtim... | Continue reading
Thank you for your patience as we continue with our telehealth platform for all non-urgent doctor appointments. Be sure to follow the directions be... | Continue reading
With the Friends reunion out on HBO Max, there’s never been a better time to talk about the most under-examined element of the hit sitcom: the icon... | Continue reading
“The United States reached a new milestone in the fight against COVID-19 on Tuesday: 50 percent of adults are now fully vaccinated against the viru... | Continue reading
1. Just relax!2. Go on a vacation.3. Have you tried charting your cycle?4. Offer a libation to the goddess of vegetation.5. Get drunk. I can’t ... | Continue reading
It hath come to my attention that you 21st-century humans are slowly emerging from the “COVID-19 pandemic.” I too survived a great pestilence durin... | Continue reading
“Republican lawmakers have recently downplayed or outright denied the violence of the January 6 insurrection as a bipartisan agreement to investiga... | Continue reading
Freedom is not a given. We’re always one generation away from accepting the unthinkable.Forcing me, a good vaccine, to inject myself into the life... | Continue reading
“The Texas Senate voted along party lines to limit how public school teachers handle discussions of race and racism in the classroom. House Bill 39... | Continue reading
SCHOOL DISTRICT: As this school year comes to a close, we would like to thank you for all the hard work you put in over the course of this truly un... | Continue reading
Die 6Hard SevenDH8The Die and the HardRain, Rain, Go Away, Die Hard Again Another DayDie Hard in HellAll McClanes Go to HeavenJohn McClaneH... | Continue reading
“Tangled Up in Goo”Early one morning the sun was shiningI was laying in dreadWondering if she’d changed at allIf she still was undeadHer folks... | Continue reading
Hotfix 3.1.0 promises upgrades, maintenance, and an overall improved experience with the Boyfriend in your life. The dev team here at Your 20s™ is ... | Continue reading
Because You Enjoyed- Because you enjoyed Getting Your Kids into Winter Clothes, you might also enjoy Applying Sunscreen to Your Kids- Because you... | Continue reading
Yes, you there with the inquisitive look. I have performance issues, you see. One that requires undivided attention from random strangers walking b... | Continue reading
Emerson Whitney’s Heaven was recently named a finalist for the Believer Book Awards. In celebration of this and Heaven’s one-year anniversary, we c... | Continue reading
- - -I used to watch Mom on TV, would pull the videos out of the back of the cupboard while I was home sick as a teenager, they were in green VHS ... | Continue reading
First off, congratulations on your decision to put an offer in on your dream house. With record-low interest rates and the ability to work from hom... | Continue reading
“We were taught from day one to respect the game, respect the competition, respect the opponent… You don’t swing 3-0 when you’re up by that big a l... | Continue reading
Dear Sleep,We’ve been together for a while now, and I am tired of doing all the heavy lifting in our relationship. I feel like you’ve been phoning... | Continue reading