Fantastic news, everyone. Pat yourselves on the back, rest your tired feet, and cancel all of your recurring donations to racial justice causes bec... | Continue reading
This is the Post-Election Meditation, designed to help you fall into a deep and untroubled sleep. You’ve waited four, long, sleepless years. You ha... | Continue reading
To download a PDF of this entire list, click here.- - -Early in President Trump’s term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalog the head-spinning num... | Continue reading
The arc of the moral universe is long. And winding. Sometimes it zigzags. Sometimes it goes in a circle. Sometimes it misses its exit and has to ma... | Continue reading
There’s no doubt that this election’s close nature has left many of us disillusioned and deeply disappointed in America. And like many of us, I, to... | Continue reading
“Other Republican leaders have so far been silent in the wake of Trump’s White House address. Senate Majority Whip John Thune of South Dakota, as w... | Continue reading
Dear Void Users,Here at VoidTech, we take pride in our ability to process all of your scream-related needs. Consequently, it is with deep regret t... | Continue reading
1. Congratulate yourself for even considering itIt’s 2020, kudos for showering at all. And standing up? Give this hero a sloppy wet medal. Sure, i... | Continue reading
What is the Electoral College?The “Electoral College System,” is the abstruse election method Americans use to indirectly select the President of ... | Continue reading
With the election remaining too close to call as votes continue to be tallied in key battleground states, it’s important to remember one thing: tho... | Continue reading
You’ve heard the news by now that Donald Trump has won Florida, giving him a much clearer path to the presidency than the Democrats had hoped, and ... | Continue reading
" Speaking from the East Room of the White House shortly after 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday, [Trump] confusingly proclaimed he would ask the U.S. Supreme... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.To download a PDF of thi... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
It’s November 3, 2020, and our forecast model indicates that there’s an 89% chance tomorrow will be partly cloudy, and a 10% chance — unlikely, but... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Recognize Your TriggersAnniversaries of a traumatic event are often difficult for people who suffer from Election PTSD. When voting, you may find ... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Voting is important. But voting isn’t enough: You’ve got to make sure your vote actually counts. “But wait, what?" you may be asking. "That doesn’t... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.To download a PDF of thi... | Continue reading
We will remain calm.We will do breathing exercises.We will forget to exhale, get woozy, and think we have COVID.We will swing between optimism a... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.To download a PDF of thi... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
“Things are definitely feeling a little different this year.” Shit’s bad.“I’ve been appreciating the honesty of your Facebook posts.” I have a g... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
It is not good to have a favorite bookstore when it’s your job to love all bookstores. But… Shakespeare & Co in Paris is a fairy tale of a book... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Friday the 13thMildly creepy. The most disturbing part is having to watch only one person wear a mask for two hours. My nerves were shot.Nightmar... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.To download a PDF of thi... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Hey, babe. Wow. I can’t believe I’m gone. Super sad I died in a way that absolutely decimated my body but left my symmetrical face and giganto clea... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Before we all landed this Job on the White House Communications Team, we spent years working on your aunt’s recipes and your dad’s texts that he st... | Continue reading
True! — aging — very, very dreadfully aging I had been and am; but why will you say that I must have a child? I have seen so many babies from heave... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Our mission here at the Christmas Commission, Music Division, is to serve and protect you from the deleterious effects of out-of-season Christmas m... | Continue reading
Smucker’s established themselves as unapologetic industry disruptors with the introduction of their Uncrustables PB&J sandwich in 1999. By elim... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.To download a PDF of thi... | Continue reading
To: the Hobbits of the ShireSubject: The LATEST Polls!Hi Bungo,Have you heard the good news??? Will Whitfoot is SURGING in the latest polls! Thi... | Continue reading
In this house, we believe…Love is LOVENo human is ILLEGALScience is REALLava lamps aren’t REAL LAVALava would evaporate the water and the lamp... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Dear Woman in the Target Parking Lot,You’re famous, you know. Police blotter famous, that is.Our suburban weekly newspaper titled your blurb “Sus... | Continue reading