Hey guys, I’m stuck fighting Trump, and I can’t figure out how to make Biden perform a fatality. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’ve tried ever... | Continue reading
“I have many progressive friends who, already anxious about our country, are finding the possibility that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg might be repl... | Continue reading
Our good friend, poet Ilya Kaminsky, knows contemporary poetry like no one else. We’re proud to be publishing his mini-reviews and one-question int... | Continue reading
In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth in just six days, the seventh day dawned unscheduled. And God blessed the seventh day ... | Continue reading
Welcome.Where am I?This is the afterlife. You fell asleep at the wheel listening to Atlas Shrugged on Audible.Oh, right. I guess that makes you ... | Continue reading
1. Removed Confederate statues are being melted down and repurposed into cyborg Black Lives Matter protesters.Reviewer’s Feedback: “This one came ... | Continue reading
Our good friend, poet Ilya Kaminsky, knows contemporary poetry like no one else. We’re proud to be publishing his mini-reviews and one-question int... | Continue reading
Who is Amy Coney Barrett and what is her connection to the People of Praise Movement?Amy Coney Barrett is Donald Trump’s Supreme Court Justice nom... | Continue reading
Dear Mortals,We know the emergence of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the impending Rapture has brought a lot of added stress and uncertai... | Continue reading
We get it. You panicked. You thought: “This virus is coming for my family and me. What do I have to defend us? Soap? Fucking Irish Spring? I don’t ... | Continue reading
When the German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Art is a mediator of the unspeakable,” he was almost certainly talking about Bill & Te... | Continue reading
“A grand jury weighing evidence in one of the country’s most contentious police shootings indicted a former Louisville police detective on charges ... | Continue reading
Captions From My Parents' Museum of Conceptual Art | Continue reading
- - -In The Lights & Types of Ships at Night (McSweeney’s, Nov. 2020), a narrator takes young readers on a tour of a glistening waterfront at ... | Continue reading
MICHAEL: Are you writing more postcards to voters?ALEXANDRA: No, I’m matching our budget to our bank accounts to see if I can find money to spare ... | Continue reading
With apologies to Shel Silverstein.- - -A (SOCIALLY-DISTANCED) INVITATIONIf you are a doctor, come inIf you are a teacher, a furloughed worker, ... | Continue reading
Popular Stock Photos, Adjusted for 2020 | Continue reading
“Chief of Staff Mark Meadows argued that ‘nobody outside of the Beltway really cares’ about ethics violations.” — Politico- - -Find a quiet place... | Continue reading
Q: You were a contact tracer this past summer. Tell me about it.A: Well, at the end of May I started at the county health department as an environ... | Continue reading
I see you in the comments of the grimmest NPR article to date, which raises my balding hackles as I never invited that drivel into my feed, I swear... | Continue reading
Traditional Literary CriticismD. H. Lawrence: “Criticism can be no more than a reasoned account of the feeling produced upon the critic by the pum... | Continue reading
What is the name of your least favorite child?In what year did you abandon your dreams?What is the maiden name of your father’s mistress?At what... | Continue reading
Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Trailblazing pioneer. Tireless fighter for women’s rights. Feminist icon.As Republicans, we can think of no better way to pay... | Continue reading
1. You take Mary out for a nice drive. Disaster ensues.2. Bit by bit, this town is killing you.3. Two remorseless killers careen acro... | Continue reading
- - -Our executive director Amanda Uhle recently interviewed artist Lisa Brown about her new collection of remote-learning-themed drawings.- - -A... | Continue reading
Gosh, it’s been such a long year — and it’s only September. I can’t wait until 2020 is over.- - -Wow, 2021 is a real dumpster fire. It’s somehow e... | Continue reading
Dear Ms. Lily,That was your name. A flower. Delicate and sweet. I have so much to thank you for. You taught me the ways of the world, and for that... | Continue reading
I’ve spent over 20 years traveling and sharing stages and microphones with some of the smartest people in the world — Pulitzer Prize winners, neuro... | Continue reading
Last night I dreamt I went to the White House again. Like all who sleep to dream, I moved both lazily and at once. Suddenly possessed with the powe... | Continue reading
Oliver! “Food Glorious Food (Limit 2 Per Customer)”Bye Bye Birdie“Put On a Happy Face Covering”Avenue Q“The Internet Is for Porn, and Work, ... | Continue reading
Oh this? It’s just a beach read. I honestly don’t know how it got into my tote bag. I certainly would never have meant to pack a book like this. I’... | Continue reading
In Search of Lost Time is universally hailed as one of the most influential literary works of the twentieth century, having revolutionized the mode... | Continue reading
“The University of Alabama system reports between August 28 and September 3, 846 UA students tested positive for the virus in Tuscaloosa… Universi... | Continue reading
Trills and caws fill the room. Rain is falling, bouncing off the birds and making the squirrels dance underneath. A yellow-bellied sapsucker (a ter... | Continue reading
The assembled dignitaries took their seats before a small lean man with an upward curled moustache.“Messieurs et Mesdames,” began Hercule Poirot. ... | Continue reading
1. Hip toss into a giant vat of butterscotch pudding. Destroyed.2. Rising punch you off of your skateboard. Miraculously you land back on it then ... | Continue reading
You guys, I moved to this plane of existence 43 years ago. 43 years! That’s a long time! When I came here in the ‘70s, this world was a totally dif... | Continue reading
With Apologies to Allen Ginsberg.- - -II saw the dullest minds of my generation destroyed by hashtags, stupid gullible red-capped,scrolling mind... | Continue reading
STATUES – Significant. Rock-hard. Monumentally destroyed if racist.ZOOM MEETINGS – Pants-less. With a good background. Generally on mute.TOILET P... | Continue reading
After I posted photos from Jared and my beautiful wedding weekend on Instagram, many of you expressed concern. You saw photos of 300 guests gatheri... | Continue reading
A FAIRY bursts through the bedroom window of sleeping girl.FAIRY: Happy 18th Birthday!GIRL shoots up in bed and turns on a lamp.GIRL: Who the h... | Continue reading
AT LINCOLN MIDDLE, WE’RE SELF-ESTEEM SUPER SPREADERS!- - -SOMEONE CALL THE CDC, WE HAVE AN EPIDEMIC OF POTENTIAL ON OUR HANDS!- - -LET’S MAKE... | Continue reading
SAN FRANCISCO, CA (September 11, 2020) — McSweeney’s is proud to announce a new series of elegantly-designed and powerfully-voiced books. Of the Di... | Continue reading
Every year, we wonder what might be appropriate on this day, and we can never think of anything more appropriate than this piece, which Mr. Hodgman... | Continue reading
“[Journalist] Bob Woodward is facing widespread criticism for only now revealing President Donald Trump’s early concerns about the severity of the ... | Continue reading
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Our good friend, poet Ilya Kaminsky, knows contemporary poetry like no one else. We’re proud to be publishing his mini-reviews and one-question int... | Continue reading
Hey there, esteemed colleagues. I want to apologize that during our Zoom meeting when I was crouched out of sight and yelling to my husband in the ... | Continue reading