1. You can’t remember when you last left the house.2. Or brushed your hair.3. Or showered.4. The outside world has achie... | Continue reading
Sharon, Massachusetts- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are fac... | Continue reading
Hello!We met last year at the Midsummer Night Drinks Gala silent auction — we were both bidding on getting to hold Andy Cohen’s baby for 20 minute... | Continue reading
“Patricia and Mark McCloskey, the St. Louis homeowners who pointed guns at protesters earlier this summer, are scheduled to speak at the Republica... | Continue reading
“Notre Dame and the University of North Carolina abandon in-person classes after COVID cases grow — and outbreaks are happening at several other ca... | Continue reading
The Birth of AthenaA long, long time ago, there lived the great god Zeus. One day, he had a terrible headache and summoned the god Hephestos, who ... | Continue reading
San Antonio, Texas- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing... | Continue reading
How does the Dreamweaver 2400 work?The Dreamweaver 2400 ceaselessly and with the determination of a provoked rhinoceros force-feeds a continual st... | Continue reading
My Dear Cousin —In this year of unrepentant disaster unimagined even by the scribes of the Old Testament, I write to offer some assistance. I cou... | Continue reading
1. So grateful this story found a home! = 72 other lit journals rejected it.2. Taking a short vacay from social media. Happy writing, y’all! = If... | Continue reading
New York, New York- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing... | Continue reading
At Tumbo’s Trampolines, we recognize that you want a fun and safe experience when on a trampoline — not one that ends up in the E.R.With the risin... | Continue reading
I’m a suburban mom, aka housewife. These things are interchangeable, just like my blonde children and my husband’s entire wardrobe. You’re probably... | Continue reading
Jane Eyre called Mr. Rochester “Rocky” when they were in bed together. This sucks but is also canon.Goya originally painted his famous Black Paint... | Continue reading
Massachusetts- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing bewi... | Continue reading
Excuse me, it appears I dropped the results of my antibody test. You probably can’t read them from the recommended six feet of distance from me, wh... | Continue reading
Here at Time, we try not to inundate our users with too many updates, so it gives us no pleasure to inform you that we’ve made another big, sweepin... | Continue reading
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Montgomery County, Maryland- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers a... | Continue reading
“Trump admits he is undermining USPS to make it harder to vote by mail.” — The Guardian, 8/13/20- - -Every year the United States government pours... | Continue reading
School Committee Meeting to Decide On Your Future In Teaching Bingo | Continue reading
401KAn extremely long and hazardous foot race beginning in Seattle and terminating in Eugene, Oregon, with stops at artisanal graveyards and glute... | Continue reading
Elkins Park, Pennsylvania- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are... | Continue reading
So you clicked on this link for a 30-minute Sesame Pork Milanese recipe, and you have the audacity to think that you can do this in 30 minutes? Who... | Continue reading
Middle age brings few consolations. I have considerably less hair and a markedly slower metabolism. There has been a dramatic increase in the numbe... | Continue reading
I don’t hate women candidates. I just hated Hillary Clinton because she’s a Pizzagate Benghazi warlord with a satanic clone double, and I coinciden... | Continue reading
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Bronx, New York- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing be... | Continue reading
When the alien space crafts first glided over our cities, I laughed at how flimsy their ships looked and told the American people we had no reason ... | Continue reading
Dear East High Students and Families,As you prepare for the upcoming 2020-2021 school year, we’d like to remind you of our East High Student Dress... | Continue reading
A Therapist’s WriterYou’re working on a “novel in dialogue” that will take 45 minutes to read and cost $350.A Mortician’s WriterYour source mate... | Continue reading
Rural Arkansas- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing bew... | Continue reading
Dear Ms. Burges:Thank you for sharing your proposal for Wutherton: An Emily Brontë Musical with us. While we found the idea intriguing, we’re not ... | Continue reading
Today I’m proud to officially announce my very real female running mate. She’s everything you ever wanted in a VP: she’s a woman, she’s smart, she’... | Continue reading
1. Your University requires all students to wear masks while in class, and faculty — not the administration — are expected to enforce this mandate.... | Continue reading
San Francisco, California- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are... | Continue reading
Empty pockets before washing. Do not overload machines. Or underload machines. Load machines the exact right amount. Customers are welcome ... | Continue reading
To the Human Employees of Weyland-Yutani Corp,We like to think of our intergalactic megacorporation as a family business. And, as your grasping co... | Continue reading
We are delighted to inform you of our new policy regarding Teacher Replacements Should The Worst Outcome Occur. Effective immediately, all faculty ... | Continue reading
New Jersey- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing bewilde... | Continue reading
As the CEO of a large hospital, I’ve witnessed the incredible dedication of our doctors, nurses, and other staff on the frontline. These incredible... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote here.- - -Early in President Trump’s term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalo... | Continue reading
Area School District is looking for a Language Arts Teacher/ Cheerleading Coach/ Custodian/ Nurse to help lead our COVID-19 and anti-racism instruc... | Continue reading
Cleveland, Ohio- - -With national leadership urging schools to reopen this fall despite rising cases of COVID-19, classroom teachers are facing be... | Continue reading
Come one, come all! Grab your family, friends, and hatred of fabric muzzles, and join us this Saturday for the grand opening of FreeMart — America’... | Continue reading
Dear Parent or Guardian,We hope that you’re staying well this summer! Please complete this survey within the next 30 minutes, as we plan to includ... | Continue reading
1. The need for blood is constant2. A new blood story is written every day3. Your blood is the currency of life4. Life begins and ends with bloo... | Continue reading