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Dear Mr. Wilson:RE: Package from You, July 5th, 2021.We appreciate you sending your latest LP, At My Piano, in advance of its release. Of course,... | Continue reading
Lord Henry flung himself onto the divan and said to the beautiful Dorian Gray, “Mr. Gray, the aim of life is self-development. We must remember wha... | Continue reading
If you’ve been away from academia for a few years, you may have forgotten how to write in a way that’s suitable for higher education. Not to worry,... | Continue reading
We at the Democratic Party understand that you all have rights and want to keep them. We love that for you. But lately, we’ve heard some concerns. ... | Continue reading
“The case that could lead to the end of Roe v. Wade includes a novel argument: that the right to an abortion is no longer necessary because it has ... | Continue reading
“The Supreme Court seemed poised on Wednesday to uphold a Mississippi law that bans abortions after 15 weeks of pregnancy, based on sometimes tense... | Continue reading
1. First of all, you don’t need to move to Hollywood to get a writing job. There are plenty of things to write for here in our suburban New Jersey ... | Continue reading
After years of sending you post-purchase emails asking you to rate and review your shopping experience at Hygge Home Goods, your local shop for coz... | Continue reading
Hello Friends,On Giving Tuesday, we thought we could highlight some of the nonprofits we admire, in case you’re looking for worthy causes.THE VAL... | Continue reading
Well, first off, I’m very excited you two chose me as your dungeon master. You seem like a lovely couple, and I’m stoked to jump right into this ad... | Continue reading
I stand before you today to announce that I have officially decided to run for Congress. As with most of our current elected officials, I do not ca... | Continue reading
Point spreads are in parentheses. Our picks are in CAPS.Welcome, bettors! With the All-Star game over, the second half of the season is just aroun... | Continue reading
I’m not Nick Fury. I am an intern at Disney. My name is Sunshine Pacino. I am Al Pacino’s nephew. My entire job is to tell people they are being ro... | Continue reading
On this Black Friday and Cyber Monday, you could give more money to Amazon, or…You could give some to independent bookstores. If you do, we will g... | Continue reading
Dear Faculty,Beginning next semester, we will be moving from two-factor to ten-factor authentication requirements for accessing the university’s d... | Continue reading
REPORTER: I’m here live with Ted moments after completing his first Thanksgiving dinner at the Grown-Ups’ Table. At only 12 years and 209 days, you... | Continue reading
If mashed potatoes and gravy see each other before dinnertime, their partnership is doomed to fail. That’s why they get ready in separate dishes. S... | Continue reading
“Nearly all of what historians have learned about the first Thanksgiving comes from a single eyewitness report: a letter written in December 1621 ... | Continue reading
“President Joe Biden is betting that his unprecedented coronavirus vaccine mandate will prevail against a flurry of lawsuits aiming to strike it do... | Continue reading
“Netflix … sees the Dahl company as the foundation [of] a potential ‘universe,’ a catalog that can be mined for several overlapping films and TV sh... | Continue reading
So, that’s Tofurky, huh? Oh man, this is awkward. I appreciate you having me over for Thanksgiving, and I think it’s great that you’re living a veg... | Continue reading
1. International Men’s Day (IMD) takes place every November 19th, so a heavy jacket is best if you plan to celebrate outdoors or—like me—solemnly w... | Continue reading
"The phrase ’Let’s go Brandon’ made its way into the US political discourse after a reporter misquoted a crowd chanting an obscenity about Biden, w... | Continue reading
To Whom It May Concern,As Director of College Counseling at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it is my unique privilege and contractual ... | Continue reading
David Finnaker (band manager): The late 1800s: the worst era in human history. Bushy beards and the occasional motor carriage. Wide-brimmed hats an... | Continue reading
Ah yes, this skull was once the head of Yor-ick? … Yo-rick? … York? … My guy!—that’s what I would call him whenever I would introduce him to people... | Continue reading
A father’s love for his little girl. Nothing like it in the world.In our driveway, when my two-year-old little Lovebug gets behind the wheel of a ... | Continue reading
When I heard that the globalist oligarchs and fat cats in the Washington marshland were conspiring to invest in alternative, non-whale-based energy... | Continue reading
Lester Sloan began his photography career as a cameraman for the CBS affiliate in Detroit, then worked as a staff photographer in Los Angeles for N... | Continue reading
“The National Institutes of Health is prepared to aggressively defend its assertion that its scientists helped invent a crucial component of the Mo... | Continue reading
“Elon Musk, the head of Tesla, attacked Sen. Bernie Sanders on Twitter on Sunday after the lawmaker from Vermont tweeted that ‘we must demand that... | Continue reading
Among the most troubling experiences I’ve had in the COVID era has been witnessing the shocking eating habits of my colleagues during Zoom meetings... | Continue reading
That your daughter? Adorable! My kid’s over there, in the Ramones tee.Can you even with these kids? Not yet three and already obsessed with the sa... | Continue reading
As a multi-billionaire, I take offense to seeing myself portrayed in the media as a manipulative murderer—someone who forces the poor to kill each ... | Continue reading
Thank you for calling the US Department of Veterans Affairs. To help us better serve you, please choose from the following options:If you are call... | Continue reading
This week, conservative thinkers announced the formation of the University of Austin, whose aim will be to produce “antifragile” graduates and purs... | Continue reading
As a business owner who’s lobbied hard to strip rights and privileges away from workers, I am confused and frankly disturbed by the number of peopl... | Continue reading
What they say: We’ll regroup and come back to you with formal feedback.What they mean: We’d like to get off the phone so you can’t hear us tear yo... | Continue reading
“Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar was facing criticism after he tweeted a video that included altered animation showing him striking Rep. Alexandria Ocasio... | Continue reading
I am a demigod. I am a reptile. I am capable of destruction. I am also capable of falling in love.Although I am not cautious with buildings, cars,... | Continue reading
Dear faculty,We are living in turbulent times, with intractable partisanship on all sides of the political spectrum. Institutions of higher learni... | Continue reading
While I’ve enjoyed the last few weeks we’ve been together, I’m feeling a bit uneasy about a few red flags.Specifically, the fact that I have not s... | Continue reading
Fellow airline travelers, I know that you hate my baby. There’s no reason to sugarcoat it. You despise this helpless, defenseless infant. I see the... | Continue reading
BOOBS: Omigod, how much longer do we all have to wait??ABS: You’re just impatient because you think it’ll be you again this year.SHOULDERS: As if... | Continue reading
“I’ve never figured out what critical race theory is, to be totally honest, after a year of talking about it.” — Fox News host Tucker Carlson, 11/... | Continue reading
“Billionaire Charlie Munger is bankrolling the design of a massive dormitory at the University of California, Santa Barbara. The $1.5 billion proje... | Continue reading
Greetings, fair countrymen. It is I, William Shakespeare, sending word from beyond the grave. I have seen the influence of my canon, and I’ve relis... | Continue reading