Progress. That is what this photo shows. Night and day progress. Years ago, taking this photo would not have been possible. Instead, I would be standing right next to Lucas and his Dad on the other side. I couldn’t take him alone. That would be a disaster. His hair would be … | Continue reading
We sat in this room the night before you arrived. We were scared, terrified, really. I got a call that morning saying the state of Louisiana had a little 3-year-old boy who was nonverbal in the foster care system. Do you want this placement, Mrs. Marler? She asked! I instantly sa … | Continue reading
To the mom of the toddler that won’t sit still at mom and me music class. To the mom of the toddler that won’t interact with other kids at Gymboree. To the mom that is chasing her toddler around Gymboree while the other moms are standing chatting pushing their kids on the swings. … | Continue reading
Someone asked me the other day when I accepted autism. The mom asking was early into her autism journey and honestly wondering when the moment comes. I could not answer. There was not a defining moment. It took me years to come to terms with the direction our lives took and every … | Continue reading
I have a story to share with you. A little long possibly, but worth the read. My son Cooper is 12 years old. He has a diagnosis of nonverbal/nonspeaking autism. He loves trains and swimming and asks me every single day to go to outer space with his friends, the Little Einsteins. … | Continue reading
Today is 20 years since you have passed, and the void is forever there. The love you stamped our hearts with is carried with us every day. You are forever missed. A that tribute doesn’t even come close to explaining how amazing and how loved you are. More than a grandmother. Watc … | Continue reading
Comments are made; often in the passing, sometimes with direction. I wonder how deeply some people think about what they say to others. Do they consider if they use hurtful words? I’ve been so fortunate during my journey thus far into motherhood. I have received so much support f … | Continue reading
There is 8 years between these two. 12 and 4. The little brother and the big brother. I know the facts. The little ones spoken language passed up his older brother’s years ago. He has a hundred words. He uses full sentences. When the younger one leaves home, Cooper will be 26 yea … | Continue reading
Just look at him sitting there, Sweatpants, t-shirt, in his comfy chair. His hair is too long, one hand on a juice box, and the other playing with Buzz Lightyear’s cat Sox. He doesn’t know what’s going on in my head. All these thoughts run around while I lay in bed. I have some B … | Continue reading
Dreams Don’t Die, They Just Change We all remember that day. The visit, the phone call, the letter. Your child is on the autism spectrum. I know I will never forget. I can still hear the Dr. saying, “We can go two different routes here. We can give the diagnosis of PDD/NOS or Aut … | Continue reading
“I am sorry. She is autistic.” This. This is what I wanted to shout in the waiting room at dance class Monday night. I wanted the moms with their beautifully behaved children to know this. I didn’t want Lexi’s behavior to come across as me being an awful parent, or to view Lexi a … | Continue reading
Last night I had a dream I had a conversation with my daughter. She is four years old, autistic, and non-speaking. Her little voice has been on my mind lately. As her age and receptive language, her understanding of language, had gone up so has her frustration. I think often abou … | Continue reading
Last night I laid in a full-size bed, inside a tent, under a train blanket, with my eight year old son. He had just fallen asleep. Beforehand, we talked, sang, and laughed. He asked me to hug him tight, and I did as he fell asleep. Slowly releasing him before he completely drifte … | Continue reading
Our son Sullivan is autistic and has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. Many people ask us, when did you know your son was autistic? That’s a tricky question because initially we had no idea. Sully had what we kn … | Continue reading
We tried a thing today. It was one of our spur of the moment ideas. My autistic son, Xavier, had gotten up at four again, and to be honest, after we dropped off his younger brother at school, we were all hungry and in need of a caffeine fix. Xavier’s Occupational Therapy appointm … | Continue reading
My son, I want to tell you about the beginning. The beginning of autism. And a bit of the middle I suppose. I used to get so upset when people stared at you. You’d be flapping. Or making happy noises. Screeches. Grunts. High pitched screams. One second you’d be on the floor and t … | Continue reading
A few days ago I was driving myself and my four kids home from my mom’s house in Wisconsin. We had just celebrated Christmas and my SUV was packed to the brim with toys, leftovers, and love. The sky was dark as I navigated the backroads I’ve driven home for 30-some years. I remem … | Continue reading
As we age, our interests change. They evolve. They grow with us. But what if they don’t? What if they stay the same year after year? In the real world, they call it age appropriate. It means teenagers shouldn’t be watching Barney or adults shouldn’t be believing in Santa. Someone … | Continue reading
Why isn’t therapy talked about more? Why is it that therapy looks like a bad thing? Because it isn’t. Therapy is for people who can’t just figure it out, right? Who can’t just get over things. Who can’t handle life. Right? Absolutely wrong. In my opinion, I think everyone could … | Continue reading
It was a typical Saturday. We were invited to a picnic at my husband, Jeremy’s, Uncle’s house. It was a small affair of just immediate family and us. We were excited to see everyone. Since the pandemic had had us at home for sometime only going out for basics and to Whit’s therap … | Continue reading
One morning last winter, around 6:00 a.m., my husband woke me as he hurried up the steps toward our bedroom. It’s as though I could feel his fear arrive before he got to the doorway. Our daughter, Seeley, will be eight soon. She is autistic, endured significant prenatal alcohol e … | Continue reading
My 19-year-old son, Skyler, has severe, nonverbal autism. Throughout his lifetime, I have spent every waking moment deciphering his body language and nonverbal cues to make the decisions that I felt were in his best interest. Is he hungry and if so, will the meal selection I make … | Continue reading
I have a beautiful moment to share with you… This morning, when I came out of my bedroom, far earlier than I would have liked, I knew my Cooper was waiting on the stairs for me. For one I could hear train whistles and happy music. And secondly, lately, he’s been waiting for me mo … | Continue reading
I always wondered what kind of relationship my kids would have when we discovered that Nixon would have a little sister. His life changed when we brought his sister Nora home from the hospital. They are two and a half years apart, and I wondered if they would have a close relatio … | Continue reading
‘There was none of this autism stuff back when I was in school.’ I hear some version of that statement often. It typically comes from someone older than me, and most often, not from a cruel place. More of a place of curiosity. I do my best to educate. I explained to them that not … | Continue reading
This was without a doubt the most challenging year for our family. This was the year we had to call in help to look at safety, support for aggression, goodbye to all medications because none were working. But we also learned the most lessons, came out stronger, and have a better … | Continue reading
My boy attended his first middle school dance last night. The statement alone evokes a slew of emotions, undoubtedly steeped in years of questions surrounding whether or not participating in milestone events such as these would be possible for Leo who is on the autism spectrum. Y … | Continue reading
Did you know there are different types of helper dogs? Three to be exact and they all serve a different purpose. Emotional Support Animal (ESA), Therapy Dog and Service Animal. Let me help you understand them, because it’s important to know how to use the right terms. Did you kn … | Continue reading
My Husband. I love him with all my heart. Every fiber of my being. I have loved Him since I was 16 years old. I don’t really know anything else. And to be honest, sometimes I don’t even like him. We don’t see eye to eye on many things. We fight a lot. He doesn’t think the things … | Continue reading
My daughter is twelve and on the autism spectrum. Some of the hardest things for kiddos on the spectrum for my daughter anyway, are lines and noise and too many people. In years past that has been a recipe for disaster. Last night, I took my daughter to Glow with her bestie and m … | Continue reading
‘My son had never been invited to a birthday party before. I hope you know how much this means to us.’ Yesterday, we had a birthday party for our son Cooper. And we invited his friends. The kids we have met along the way. The ones who don’t necessarily talk or play sports or fit … | Continue reading
6 Things I Never Need To Hear Again As A Mom To A Child With A Disability: 1. Have you tried… For some reason people who have never have had the experience love to tell parents of children with disabilities how to get their kid to sleep, eat, behave, etc. For the record, I’ve tri … | Continue reading
Last night was one of those really special nights. Our family, along with 20 or so other families, spent an evening with Santa. Some kids lined up chairs. Another watched an old 1950’s train docu-series on YouTube. One young man used his speech device to ask Santa for a horse. An … | Continue reading
We met Father Christmas and what a lovely experience it was! As with most things we do it was not easy, nor was it perfect, but it was amazing! Charlie struggled at times, he didn’t understand the walk through to the grotto. He did count the elves and he said hello to the owls bu … | Continue reading
A few weeks ago, my husband and I sat around a table with five educators, and four on zoom, discussing our son’s education. He was starting at a new school. Mid year. The one he was at prior didn’t work out. I will be bold and say he wasn’t wanted there. He wasn’t liked. I could … | Continue reading
Christmas is so much. It’s busy, it’s loud, it’s joyful, it’s frustrating, it’s just, a lot. I love it though. I love it for religious reasons, I love being with family, I love yummy treats, and I love presents. I get so caught up in it. I have so many deep seeded memories when i … | Continue reading
“Silent night, Holy night. All is calm, all is bright…” the familiar, beloved carol that ironically swims around the depths of my mind circa 3am during the holiday season. It is ironic because not all is silent, calm, or bright. Did you know up to 80% of autistic individuals stru … | Continue reading
Many times when someone thinks about autism they think of it negatively. But I want to talk about autism in a positive light. I want to talk about what our son’s autism has taught us. Dear Sully, We wanted to write this letter to you, my beautiful boy, letting you know just how m … | Continue reading
I just want things to be right for her— I don’t care if she has hard days or sad days because that is part of life it’s part of being human and growing. But I want her to be able to tell me— I want her to be able to know for herself, what kind of day she had. I want her to kno … | Continue reading
Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mother. I started writing names down that I wanted to name my kids. I began thinking about what sports they would play. Planning playdates and birthday parties. I had my whole motherhood planned out by a young age. I never dreamt o … | Continue reading
As we start that holiday shopping let’s support businesses that either provide employment to adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities or are owned and ran by a person with a disability. If you are like me, or my own friends and family, I am sure you want to support … | Continue reading
I was chatting with someone from my previous life the other day and it got me thinking how much I have changed. We chatted about life, work, relationships, and kids. I say previous life because I am simply not the person I was before autism. As I settled into this new life it chi … | Continue reading
We are a family that lives autism. My son Cody is 22 and has autism with speech delays. Everyday is the same day as before. It’s like being on rewind over and over and over. It’s a place I never knew existed. This place that seems so far away yet it’s our life — our reality. As I … | Continue reading
One day, a friend asked me “what is the hardest part of being a sibling to a brother with a disability?” Without hesitation I quickly answered, living in fear. Still to this day, even at 38 years old, I have the same exact fear as I did in my sunflower decorated room when I was e … | Continue reading
The number one question I get asked is, do you want more kids? It’s a very tricky subject. It’s something that I struggle with daily if I’m being honest, something I’ve intensely prayed about. I’ve always loved the idea of a bunch of kids running around. Ever since I was a littl … | Continue reading
Often, to me, it feels like raising children can be likened to playing a long game. Solid parenting seems to be an exhausting process of doing “all the right things” and then having hope that we will see the fruits of our many labored years down the road. Sure, there are hints al … | Continue reading
Dear Sully, I hope you get to experience what it’s like to have a true friend. I hope you get to experience what it’s like to fall in love and be loved in return unconditionally. I hope we get to attend your wedding someday and be those proud parents of the groom. I hope we get t … | Continue reading
Dad here. Big Dude is a perpetual three-year-old but many times we see him mature and show a different side of himself that makes Mom and me scratch our heads and ask rhetorically, “Where did that come from?” One such ritual is Big Dude’s insistence that I am fully dressed for t … | Continue reading