I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up. By met, I mean I hacked into my ex’s Peloton account to get a look at this Dean, the chisel... | Continue reading
What shall we do with this wretched mustacheGrowing on my lip like an errant eyelash?Is it not enough that I’m having a hot flashEarly in the mo... | Continue reading
Amazon Prime Day used to mean something. When I was young, my family would joyfully celebrate the legacy of a mega-corporation that runs hundreds o... | Continue reading
Scientific Name: Patria Adultus Middle AmericanusCommon Names: Dad, Pop, Old ManNative to: North Central United States, with heavy concentrations... | Continue reading
On getting bullied when I was five:“We do not fight with our hands; we fight with our words. Let me help you brainstorm. What does your bully hate... | Continue reading
One of the things most alive in contemporary poetry is a sense that even as the ecological ship goes down, we might record the catastrophe, might l... | Continue reading
(1/23) Cordelia here, honest, loyal daughter, or so they say. Father’s Day is tough for me. Why? READ BELOW TILL THE END. #FathersDay(2/23) So, my... | Continue reading
Barenaked Ladies: You like craft beer.Sleater-Kinney: You like craft beer and claim you were into it “before it became such a thing.”Soundgarden:... | Continue reading
Hi, son. Yeah, I know it’s late. What time is it there? No, everything is okay. Nothing’s wrong. Your mom went to bed a while ago, and I just wante... | Continue reading
I still remember the first time I told my then six-year-old son Lev that a clam makes calls with its “shell phone.” The laugh of recognition when h... | Continue reading
A lot of people have been asking me how I put away enough money to buy a house. Well, it’s pretty simple: I saved up for a while, and when that was... | Continue reading
I may not be a woman, but I am a Texas legislator, and therefore I am an expert on how women’s bodies work, especially in matters of pregnancy. So ... | Continue reading
Katie Peterson has written several searing books of lyric poems. She writes lucid lines, lines that pierce with their apparent simplicity. Her last... | Continue reading
I.There never was a Hobbit Hole quite like Bag End in all of Hobbiton a place that oftsaw the comings and goings of many of the Little Folk and Bi... | Continue reading
READ THIS BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES ILLEGALDo you look outside at ruins of liberty and ask, what has become of my country? Gulfstream media says ... | Continue reading
Dear Camp Mosquito,Thank you for accepting my child for your “Tent, Ticks, and Chill: Session I” this summer. The registration form had a 100-char... | Continue reading
Welcome to B.C. Richard and Stone in beautiful downtown Bedrock! You have questions, we have answers! Learn more about us below, as well as the ans... | Continue reading
My name is Dave, I live in a one-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, and for the last eleven months I’ve been tormented by my landlord, a giant raccoon ... | Continue reading
“Remember when woke used to be cool? And now it’s Mom on Facebook. Like, I don’t know what happened.” — Jemele Hill on MSNBC, April 8, 2021.- - -1... | Continue reading
Part of the project of modern poets, picking up where people like William Blake and William Wordsworth left off, has been to reanimate animism. To ... | Continue reading
In the beginning was the Word, and I don’t know what the Word was, but I swear to frigging Dad, it was not “followers.”I was just a youngish Son o... | Continue reading
“The Return of FOMO: Our Uneasy, Great Reopening.” — Cover article of New York Magazine, June 2021.- - -Now is the winter of our discontentMade H... | Continue reading
The house of my dreams gets put on the market. I make an offer, but because the realtor is so thrilled about my decision to move back, she gives me... | Continue reading
“… Bring on the bear hugs [and] the awkward don’t-know-if-we-should-hug hugs.” — CNN on the return of hugs for those who have been fully vaccinated... | Continue reading
Hi, great to connect. I’m a passionate creative who crafts captivating stories for high-quality clients, because my preference is to live.Here’s m... | Continue reading
“The Lunk Alarm of J. Alfred Prufrock”I’m addicted-way o-tay ose-thay ape-gray ootsie-tay olls-ray ey-thay ave-hay in-way e-thay ont-fray. It’s in... | Continue reading
Hi, neighbor! Just wanted to stop by and formally introduce myself, even though I’m sure you and everyone else with a pair of ears in a five-mile r... | Continue reading
I am not a huge alcohol drinker. Even during college, I wasn’t exactly a big partier. The college I went to doesn’t even have its own sororities. T... | Continue reading
1. “The ads are the worst part about it.”2. “Why do I need to spend money in order to buy more money?”3. “I don’t feel comfortable about these ki... | Continue reading
1.LIEUTENANT DAVIDSON: We got another call about that bar down on 3rd Street.HERO: AW, COME ON! What the conk, Lieutenant! Johnson’s out there th... | Continue reading
As an aspiring politician who loves this country and greatly admires our Founding Fathers, I cannot help but point out the areas where they were a ... | Continue reading
Wash and sterilize used bottles.Take out the trash bag full of dirty diapers.Start a load of laundry for the third time this week.Why is there s... | Continue reading
- - -Dave Eggers’s new short story, The Museum of Rain is a testament to family, a ballad to leisurely walking in nature, and a reflection on the ... | Continue reading
July 10, 1968Dear Mr. Schulz,Do you know what it’s like to wander through life, having no significant conversations and participating in no signi... | Continue reading
“Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin on Sunday defended his decision to vote against a sweeping voting rights bill and reiterated his opposition to gutting... | Continue reading
We’re so glad that we were able to catch you the instant you listed your house on Zillow. My wife and I knew it would pay off to stalk the website ... | Continue reading
Hey, man! It’s been a while. What a year, huh? Really nice to be able to see people again. Sorry, am I talking weird? I’m not? Oh good. I’m a littl... | Continue reading
Before you begin, have bandages of several sizes handy, even if you are just repairing a teddy bear.You will find your manual for the broken unit,... | Continue reading
Dylan ThomasDonut, go gentle into that good night:In middle-age, I beg you, stay away.I can’t afford to take another bite.Although you’ve helpe... | Continue reading
As many offices return to in-person work, some women are concerned about reverting to the pre-pandemic white-collar norms that perpetuated inequali... | Continue reading
We’re sad to see you go. If you have a moment, will you please tell us why you unsubscribed? Please? Failure to do so will cancel your request.1. ... | Continue reading
Your first OBGYN visit“On your first visit to the OBGYN, you will receive information about the facilities, the birth team, and undergo an ultraso... | Continue reading
Your Gen X loved ones have survived so much: the Cold War, latchkey childhoods, mosh pits, COVIDs-19-through-27. They were born into a world withou... | Continue reading
Having knowledge in STEM is critical, and there is no better time to start a child’s journey into STEM than right now. Enough weirdos have said thi... | Continue reading
Huddle up, team. Has anyone seen that rectangular board thing that coaches use for doodles and other coaching stuff? Ah, here it is. Now trust me w... | Continue reading
Beaver of Fine Arts: Your Biggest Fan Called and She Wants You Home Before Dinner | Continue reading
This user manual will guide you in the application of remote state high-stakes testing. To ensure successful test administration for your district’... | Continue reading
You're Not Going to Just Throw Me Away, Are You? | Continue reading