“Even with coronavirus vaccines on the way, many epidemiologists do not expect their lives to return to pre-pandemic normal until most Americans ar... | Continue reading
Aristotle: Believes everyone else in his pod is either too cautious or too reckless.Mill: Studiously reads economists’ SSRN preprints to form opin... | Continue reading
Hey there, youngblood. You must be the new recruit. Welcome to this Chrome window. Well, don’t just stand there with your bookmarks hanging out. Co... | Continue reading
“Sending $250/$350 per month/per child to everyone, with no work requirement, is welfare. Being pro-family means being pro-work.” — Sen. Marco Rub... | Continue reading
1. Every single day, the sun hangs low on the horizon, and its slanting rays fill you with dread at the horrors to come.2. You’re not sure how you... | Continue reading
Q: When is it appropriate for me, a middle-aged white guy who hosts a podcast, or writes op-eds, or posts as a prominent blogger with a healthy Twi... | Continue reading
Beaver of Fine Arts: "Your Self Portrait Was Due Yesterday": Student Reactions According to Their Zodiac Sign | Continue reading
All of us here at McSweeney’s mourn the passing of Lawrence Ferlinghetti. He was our north star and compatriot in this small but feisty world of Sa... | Continue reading
Why shouldn’t I get an MFA? That’s a tough one, but I’ll take a shot. Say I’m getting an MFA, and my professor puts a canvas on my desk, something ... | Continue reading
My mind is expanding, my horizons are broadening. I’m washing the dishes while having a cutting-edge audio experience learning about the Plague of ... | Continue reading
“States still must give standardized tests this year, Biden Administration announces.” — Education Week, 2/22/21- - -“Laura! Mary! Carrie! Time fo... | Continue reading
Not only am I VP of Reproduction for this household, but I’ve also been the end-user of this Small Child for over three years now. I’m going to giv... | Continue reading
Love, ActuallyLAURA LINNEY’S CHARACTER: Want to have sex, hot guy from my office?HOT GUY FROM HER OFFICE: Sure!LLC (answering her phone): Hey, b... | Continue reading
Dragon seeks smart, motivated intern to help manage a sprawling cavern of various golden treasures. This is the perfect opportunity for a go-getter... | Continue reading
Hey, it’s me: Short Afternoon Walk. As you may have noticed, you’re all turning to me an awful lot these days. Don’t get me wrong, I love what we h... | Continue reading
I SpyThe children stealthily watch out of the front windows to see who can be the first to spy with their little eyes the delivery person who will... | Continue reading
Jane looked in the mirror discontentedly. Every time she saw her reflection, she was reminded that despite being 14 and hot, she looked like an 18-... | Continue reading
“As Texas was battered by an icy storm and widespread power losses that left millions of residents freezing and fearing for their safety, Senator T... | Continue reading
Is dating a challenge for you? Do you find it hard meeting the right person? Well, sulk no more because now an emotionally damaged human can be de... | Continue reading
“As Texas faced record-low temperatures this February and snow and ice made roads impassable, the state’s electric grid operator lost control of th... | Continue reading
I am not a picky eater. I regularly eat boxed mac and cheese, not just Kraft but the $0.35 generic box that tastes little more than bleach flour an... | Continue reading
“This shows how the Green New Deal would be a deadly deal for the United States of America.” — Texas Governor Greg Abbott on the massive cold-weath... | Continue reading
Hey, all. It’s Me, God. I just wanted to let everyone know I’ve decided to give you Lent off this year. Instead of the usual “give up something imp... | Continue reading
I am a local. That means I am from here. Where are you from?Never heard of it.I was born and raised here. Not born technically, but raised. Well,... | Continue reading
“The nation’s top public health agency said Friday that in-person schooling can resume safely with masks, social distancing and other strategies, a... | Continue reading
Whether you are working from your DC office or your home in LA or New York, here’s all you need to know to become an expert on Iran.1. Always refe... | Continue reading
Oh, hey there. I couldn’t help but notice that you were staring at my legs. No, you did not slip on a patch of ice and somehow wake up on a tennis ... | Continue reading
- - -Download a FREE printable PDF version to play at home. | Continue reading
(There’s some bores in this house)(There’s some bores in this house)I said, certified geeksFor 12347 weeks1White-ass presidentsMake this count... | Continue reading
Good day, America. ‘Tis I, William Henry Harrison, 9th U.S. president, ‘Ol Tippecanoe, humbly coming before you this President’s Day to ask you aga... | Continue reading
“Nice mask,” he said.I didn’t hear him clearly because of the wind, but I felt his presence. I turned around to see it was the man standing behind... | Continue reading
I Cupid, officially announce my retirement as the mascot of Saint Valentine’s Day. Given this is an occasion to celebrate romantic love, as a chubb... | Continue reading
Product: EveUser: Adam (firstman@aol.com)Review: A mixed bag. Major improvement over the Lilith model (DO NOT BUY) but needed an entire rib to ac... | Continue reading
“After watching graphic video from the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol, many Republican senators denounced the violence but said they were still incli... | Continue reading
Phase one of my master plan is complete, sheeple. Your days of saying “Merry Christmas!” to every Tom, Dick, and Harry on the street are over. It’s... | Continue reading
Real Pants, the wardrobe staple that enjoyed global success for centuries, passed away peacefully, surrounded by family who were working from home.... | Continue reading
Hello, it’s me, your sudden onset adult acne. I know things are bad right now, and I’m here to make them even worse by absolutely fucking shit up f... | Continue reading
The part in “Hey Jude” about wivesEverybody loves singing along with their friends to this classic — especially when the “na-na-na-naaaa” part kic... | Continue reading
“Sorrel began the day here at Shining Dewdrop Peaceful Heart Song Montessori Children’s House with an absorbent mind, eager to self-construct! Duri... | Continue reading
“I’m not Ken Starr or Alan Dershowitz. You’re not going to get a law professor’s explanation… I’m a guy who gets up in court and talks.” — Bruce Ca... | Continue reading
Bizarre character twists, R-rated dialogue, and hours of silent glaring — that’s what you can expect in Seasons 13-18 of Your Child’s Life.Everyon... | Continue reading
Star Trek into DarknessThe USS Enterprise is attacked in space, a loud explosion on screen as the ship splits.CPT. KIRK: I know you’re all worrie... | Continue reading
Amanda Uhle spoke with Courtney Zoffness about her forthcoming book of essays, Spilt Milk, which has already earned starred reviews from Publishers... | Continue reading
This is my machine, dammit, and now that I’ve finally built it, I’m going to make a tweak that will have unquestionably positive effects on my life... | Continue reading
Hi, neighbors —We just wrapped another productive neighborhood council meeting yesterday. Lisa should be getting those meeting notes out to us any... | Continue reading
1. Tell a story about no one doing nothing in no words and never write it down.2. Stephen King said, “Revising a story down to the bare essentials... | Continue reading
Congratulations on the purchase of your ham sandwich.Soon all the pleasures of this delicious sandwich will be yours.After you complete the 32-st... | Continue reading
“The 2021 Golden Globes nominations were announced Wednesday morning. And among the biggest surprises was that Netflix’s ‘Emily in Paris’ was nomin... | Continue reading