This restaurant commissioned me to create a structure that would allow its patrons to dine comfortably in cold and inclement weather while still ke... | Continue reading
“Democrats are gonna impeach the president for a second time, one week before he leaves office. Why? Politics, and the fact that they want to cance... | Continue reading
1. Trip2. Chip3. Bo/Beau4. Sandy5. Buffy6. Chase7. Hunter8. Tucker9. Scooter10. Sparky11. Trent12. Bentley13. Tanner14. Trace- - -Tru... | Continue reading
The poet Yi Lei became famous in 1987 when she published a poem about female sexual desire in a time when cohabitation before marriage was still il... | Continue reading
“Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) denounced protesters seen clashing with police outside the Capitol as droves of pro-Trump demonstrators descended on Wash... | Continue reading
“Republican Senator Roy Blunt from Missouri said Trump’s actions on the day of the capitol attack were ‘reckless,’ but he says he should finish out... | Continue reading
1. Doubting that the nightmare is really, truly over.2. Praying that whatever vestiges of civility are left will last until the January 20 deadlin... | Continue reading
Goldilocks and the Three BearsOne day, a salaryman named Tatsuhiro receives a phone call from a stranger who calls herself Goldilocks. Her voice r... | Continue reading
“Any attempt to impeach President Trump would not only be unsuccessful in the Senate but would be a dangerous precedent for the future of the presi... | Continue reading
“The US has recorded over 4,000 COVID-19 deaths in one day for the first time” — SBS News, 1/8/21- - -Guys, look, I love human sacrifice. You know... | Continue reading
Our good friend, poet Ilya Kaminsky, knows contemporary poetry like no one else. We’re proud to be publishing his mini-reviews and one-question int... | Continue reading
“We are living Orwell’s 1984.” — Donald Trump Jr. after Twitter permanently suspended his father’s account for inciting violence.- - -It’s finally... | Continue reading
Hey, it’s me, Dry January. The one you pledged abstinence to. Look, I know you had honest intentions. I heard you when you vowed to make up for dri... | Continue reading
This week has been trying for us all.1 While I don’t want to let the incident at the Capitol overshadow all of our accomplishments,2 it’s made me l... | Continue reading
To download a PDF of this entire list, click here.- - -Early in President Trump’s term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalog the head-spinning num... | Continue reading
CostParis: An expensive, once in a lifetime experience.Me: A $20 experience you can do most weekends and every other Tuesday when I’m not working... | Continue reading
Fellow citizens, after a long and contentious election season, it appears that tensions are peaking among Americans dissatisfied with how the resul... | Continue reading
“Fearful that Trump could take actions resulting in further violence and death if he remains in office even for a few days, senior administration o... | Continue reading
Mobs invaded the U.S. Capitol building yesterday, but us Republicans got to confirm more than 220 white male judges who want to force women to give... | Continue reading
Yesterday, an attempted coup d’état was thwarted in Washington D.C. — the capital of the globe’s largest military power. Once considered the shinin... | Continue reading
Though I am a great admirer of tradition and possess extraordinary respect for the way things have always been done, I am not above changing my way... | Continue reading
Hey teachers, I know it’s been a struggle to communicate with your students ever since you moved to remote learning this spring. At first, you were... | Continue reading
Day 1: Can smile at your mother-in-law even if she is sitting inexplicably close to your exposed nipples.1 month: Can embrace total inaction when ... | Continue reading
To download a PDF of this entire list, click here.- - -Early in President Trump’s term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalog the head-spinning num... | Continue reading
To our beloved Efficient Solutions Inc. family —Exciting news! Today is the first day of our new head of human resources: The Incinerator 850.Man... | Continue reading
“I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have. Because we won the state… I only need 11,000 votes. Fellas, I need 11,000 votes.... | Continue reading
Here at Time, we made several major changes in 2020. Now that 2021 is here, we’re rolling out a brand new set of regulations.A MinuteA minute use... | Continue reading
You finally did it. You cleaned the whole house. Every laundry basket is empty. Every countertop, decluttered. Every nook and every cranny—swept, S... | Continue reading
It was QUITE a year, and our most-read pieces provide a time capsule of sorts that records all the ups and downs, and downs, and way, way downs of... | Continue reading
Q: Mr. 20—2020: Please, Mr. 20 is my father. Call me Greg.Q: Many observers have deemed you perhaps the worst Year ever. How do you respond?2... | Continue reading
Our 5th most-read article of 2020.- - -Originally published April 30, 2020.- - -I’m the unnamed girl from Avril Lavigne’s 2002 hit, “Sk8er Boi” ... | Continue reading
Our 7th most-read article of 2020.- - -Originally published February 19, 2020.- - -It’s tough being a toddler. Having your every need met doesn’... | Continue reading
Our 8th most-read article of 2020.- - -Originally published March 25, 2020.- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -Click to ... | Continue reading
Our 12th most-read article of 2020.- - -Originally January 24, 2020.- - -Pregnancy is an intensely personal time, and when it comes to caregiver... | Continue reading
Our 13th most-read article of 2020.- - -Originally published April 29, 2020.- - -Dear Professors —It’s been a minute, right? A few months ago, ... | Continue reading
Our 15th most-read article of 2020.- - -Originally published March 16, 2020.- - -Due to concerns about COVID-19, our university recently gave me... | Continue reading
Our 16th most-read article of 2020.- - -Originally published January 31, 2020.- - -With all of the controversy surrounding my new novel, Memoirs... | Continue reading
Our 20th most-read article of 2020.- - -Originally published March 31, 2020.- - -The BathroomFrog stood outside the bathroom door. He could hea... | Continue reading
Originally published December 23, 2009.- - -Day 1On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree. Such a though... | Continue reading
At Manger Health Systems, we strive to provide you with the highest quality care when the inn is full and you need to give birth to the child of Go... | Continue reading
1. Finish what you startResilience is a difficult skill to learn, so work up to it in small doses. Instead of watching the first three seconds of ... | Continue reading
Comrades, friends, awakening proletariat, my name is Timothy Cratchit. Many of you know me by the ableist moniker “Tiny Tim,” bestowed upon me by ... | Continue reading
Every Who down in Whoville was sick of the rules,All the masks, sanitizers, and closure of schools.Caroling was banned along with the Annual Snow... | Continue reading
“House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Monday faced criticism after saying that the $600 direct payments included in a new economic relief package are ‘sig... | Continue reading
Barack Obama's Favorite Swedish Death Metal of 2020 | Continue reading
Kids, take a seat. For years, your mother and I have assured you both that there’s no such thing as Santa Claus. We’ve reminded you over and over t... | Continue reading
Dear Smith’s Food and Drug Shopper,I couldn’t help but overhear your tirade in the dairy aisle as you loudly complained about how Land O’Lakes kow... | Continue reading
Things I Didn't Have on My 2020 Bingo Card Bingo | Continue reading