I’ve been here before. In the crucible. Missing everything before. Longing for after. It’s been ten years since my three-year-old son, Lev, died, ... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Hey volunteers! We’re super pumped to have you making calls and getting votes for our Lord of Eternal Shadow & Exhumer of Souls, The Skeleton P... | Continue reading
Shortly after Trump was elected, we had an idea here at McSweeney’s — a brutally simple idea. Because Trump’s assaults on the Constitution, the rul... | Continue reading
1. Write about a personal challenge you have recently faced and how it has shaped who you are today. While we would prefer you write about somethin... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
“When asked if a female president would have better handled the coronavirus pandemic, the 2016 Democratic presidential nominee said, ‘I have no dou... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.To download a PDF of thi... | Continue reading
“President Trump’s press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, gave us a heavy book that she described as the president’s health care plan. It was filled wi... | Continue reading
Stranger Danger(1977)This surrealist cult favorite is a must-watch for fans of toddler art-house horror. While out shopping, a young girl’s moth... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
DON, JR.: Hey, man, welcome to mi casa! You like the custom doorbell? “Enter Sandman” — fucking genius, right?KIMBERLY: (from the kitchen) Babe?D... | Continue reading
The Final Presidential DebateBelmont UniversityNashville, TennesseeOctober 23, 2020- - -9:04 PM: NBC White House Correspondent Kristen Welker o... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.To download a PDF of thi... | Continue reading
McTwist LimitsIn our current system of lifetime appointments, the Court’s makeup hinges on the health of a few elderly justices. Instead of tying ... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
“Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) said that he’s disagreed with President Trump . . . but he’s always brought up his concerns privately — rather than pub... | Continue reading
The walls are way too thick.I can’t hear when my neighbors are crying or having sex, and I certainly can’t smell the exact spice blend they’re usi... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
MISSING:Local high school teacher lost in overly elaborate metaphor using an object he only held a cursory knowledge of when explaining a straight... | Continue reading
Here at McSweeney’s, one of our staffers has mentioned that they have in-laws in Pennsylvania, and these in-laws voted for Trump in 2016 and might ... | Continue reading
Man, you look beat. You look drained. You look like what happens if Bill Barr and Rudy Giuliani spent the night at a hookah bar with Steve Bannon’s... | Continue reading
Jersey DevilIt’s half-goat, half-bat, and 100%-crucial to our campaign strategy. Legend says the Jersey Devil descends from the wealthy Leeds fami... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
One of the toughest things about quarantine is the feeling that our year is slipping away. But time stuck at home doesn’t have to be time wasted. I... | Continue reading
Beaver of Fine Arts: What You Missed When You Skipped Class | Continue reading
Tips for teaching the hybrid learning model inside: Just complete this COVID form; Just check this list to see who is learning in-person (IL) an... | Continue reading
- - -This piece originally appeared in McSweeney’s 61. To read more from this ultra-deluxe, faux-leather-bound issue, subscribe by October 25. Get... | Continue reading
Listen, I’m proud to have inspired such an iconic song, but I’ve been waiting for thirty years to gets this off my chest: Tom completely misread me... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
“Jeffrey Toobin, CNN’s chief legal analyst and a renowned reporter for The New Yorker, has been sidelined at a pivotal moment in the run-up to the ... | Continue reading
To be read before the 2020 Presidential Election. Register to vote, or check to make sure you’re registered to vote here.- - -Early in President ... | Continue reading
THERE’S. NO. TIME.[FIRST NAME], we are desperate. We emailed you. We texted you. You asked us to stop, and we didn’t. So let us say this now: The ... | Continue reading
When Belle, a young postal worker, accidentally drops her mother’s pearl necklace into a mail sorting machine, she has twelve hours to sort 1,550,0... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
It’s not by accident that we’ve never heard of the Four Little Pigs. It’s not a fluke that the story ends with a red brick house and three little p... | Continue reading
I have a duty to protect my family from the heavy hand of government. Diapers limit my baby’s constitutional right to free expression.Once that ex... | Continue reading
Hello. I am the undecided voter. I don’t feel either positively or negatively about talking to you today.I live in a small house in the direct cen... | Continue reading
1.Professor Philip Brainard watches his latest creation, a green mass of flying rubber, attempt to contort itself into a new shape.Every movement... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
Act 1 (An Overture)A small bedroom in the home of Sam Parris, Salem, Massachusetts, in the fall of the year 2020. As the curtain rises, Sam Parri... | Continue reading
“I feel so powerful. I’ll walk into that audience. I’ll walk in there, I’ll kiss everyone in that audience. I’ll kiss the guys, and the beautiful w... | Continue reading
Dear Green Ginger,Hello! I just moved to the neighborhood. From Google Maps, I see that you’re an Asian Fusion restaurant, but I’m not sure if tha... | Continue reading
Though we’ve known for four years that the 2020 US election cycle would be even more fraught than the strange and painful fall of the 2016 election... | Continue reading
We’re so glad that, despite everything, you still feel up for leaf-peeping in Maine this fall. Of course, many things are up in the air with COVID-... | Continue reading
To Whom It May Concern,I am writing regarding Sara Tan’s application for the Covid Undergraduate Research Scholars Educational Development scholar... | Continue reading
“I have stayed quiet with the approach of the election, but I’m troubled by our politics, as it has moved away from spirited debate to a vile, vitu... | Continue reading
1. Skiing2. Yachting3. Snorkeling4. Golf5. Polo6. Dinner parties7. Shopping | Continue reading