Finding out someone shares a birthday with you feels like stars aligning, hearts criss-crossing, and lives twisting and tangling together. If they share your actual year it’s even more special because you grew up sharing moments and memories and histories and horoscopes, too. Lib … | Continue reading
Your brain is a machine. Yes, that soft and squishy lump is bursting with colors and pictures and people and places and smells and sights and sounds. Your brain knows things it hasn’t even told you yet. Sometimes it surprises you with forgotten flickers, crystal-clear connections … | Continue reading
Cavemen didn’t wear jeans. Nope, hiding from mammoths, bashing saber-tooth skulls, and setting up the cave was tough enough without furry leg-warmers chafing their hairy thighs. And, it wasn’t just them either: Free-legs living was The Thing To Do for the past hundred thousand ye … | Continue reading
Hit the gas, baby. You’re free. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #378 Finally making it past whatever was causing traffic to slow down appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things. | Continue reading
Everybody’s got a classic. Buried in the basement, brass-framed in the family room, you’ve got a dusty 8×10 gem of a bad school photo featuring a bad school photo trend: • That laser background. Remember when the studio hired an acid junkie to paint that pink and blue laser backg … | Continue reading
While lying on the grass, lazing on the couch, or relaxing in some crumpled sheets, you sometimes just fall into the moment with someone you love. After the conversation dies down and the background noise fades away you smile silently and melt into an arms-and-legs embrace. Gaze … | Continue reading
Scrub those suds, baby. Work that hard square down to a soft-cornered bar. Work that soft-cornered bar down to smooth oval. Work that smooth oval down to a thin bar with deep creases. Work that thin bar with deep creases down to a jagged soap icicle. And then make a big decision: … | Continue reading
Wind whips through the windows, trees sway slowly outside, and music beats through the car stereo as we cruise calmly down empty streets on a long drive home. Then suddenly blurs flash in our mirrors and zoom past us in an engine-roaring rush, disappearing into tiny red dots over … | Continue reading
Everyone loves the sun. Plants, light, tanlines, we get it, we get it. But, you know what? Today’s the day to give props to that other big guy floating up in the sky. Yes, we say the Moon’s worth respecting for a few big reasons: 1. Lights up the night. Sure, the moon isn’t as [… … | Continue reading
You came, you dressed up, you conquered. Now you’re walking around with bloodshot eyes and a gumball headache as you pack Princess costumes into boxes, peel decorations off the door, and get ready for the important business of sorting through your loot. Now it’s time to focus. FO … | Continue reading
Level 0. Real cobwebs, one pumpkin lying on the porch that isn’t carved, lollipops in a popcorn bowl. Level 1. Fake stringy cobwebs across the front door, carved jack-o-lantern lying on the porch, plastic Halloween-themed sign on the door, mini candy bars handed out of a giant pl … | Continue reading
Congratulations! You just doubled the size of your essay in about three seconds. You get an A for AWESOME! The post #386 Double spacing your essay so it takes up way more pages appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things. | Continue reading
Admit it. You’ve done the sniff test. Sure, while shuffling through a mish-mashed drawer of balled up sweatsocks and stained undershirts a few minutes ago you started panicking when you thought there was nothing left. Soon your mind started racing into Plan B’s and C’s: 1. Rock t … | Continue reading
Suddenly your private one-liner is granted objective joke-telling credibility. Way to hold court in the bank lineup, crack up the ladies behind the sandwich counter, or leave the old guys at the urinals in stitches. Way to walk in here and get everybody laughing. Way to walk in h … | Continue reading
My friend Matt went on a rant over the weekend. “Do you realize how dangerous revolving doors are?” he began, with big popping eyes, concerned eyebrows, and a thick foamstache on his upper lip from the cappuccino he was sipping. “I mean, I’m surprised they’re actually left unguar … | Continue reading
Wake me up. Take off my pyjamas. Put a shirt on me. Pull up my pants. Do up my zipper. Tie my shoes. Make me breakfast. Wash my hands. Put me in the car seat. Buckle me up. Blow my nose. Turn on the TV. Change the video. Change the video. Change the video. Take […] The post #390 … | Continue reading
It’s a tiny paper-wrapped bar of soap, mesh bag of gold coin chocolates, Teddy Bear dressed as a Buckingham Palace guard, little foam shoe shiner thing, clicky-pen with a conference logo printed on it, mini bottle of maple syrup, matches from a really good restaurant, bedroom doo … | Continue reading
Candy doesn’t deliver. Since Emperor Nero sent slaves into the mountains for ice to mix with honey and nuts two thousand years ago, we’ve all enjoyed cooling off with big bowls of the sweet and icy treat. Yup, Arabs started adding milk to the mixture a thousand years later, the C … | Continue reading
You waited a long time. Cruising backwards in your baby seat, strapped into your toddler chair, sharing the bench with your little brother on those long drives downtown, you spent years putting up with child locks, bad views, and barf bags. So when you finally get to ride in the … | Continue reading
There’s something in the dark. Floors creak and doors squeak as furnaces click and ticking clocks tick. Fridges hum and oven burners pop as garage doors close and footsteps flip flop. Sometimes it sounds like there’s a monster hiding deep in the darkness of your room. Blind and a … | Continue reading
Bouncing beltless in the backseat you’re zooming down dark streets, slick roads, and slippery lanes. Doesn’t matter if you’re cabbing back from cards, hitting the downtown bars hard, or flying home for a quick recharge. Nope, the only thing that matters is if your cabbie knows th … | Continue reading
When I was in high school my friend Chad worked at a big-box electronics store down by the lake. He’d put on a shirt, tie, and giant clown-faced grin before selling bubble jet printers and floppy disks on Friday nights. Since the rest of us were hopeless layabouts we’d aimlessly … | Continue reading
It burns. Chocolate chips drip down your fingertips as that softly-crumbling cookie melts into a hot puddle of steamy goodness in the middle of your mouth. Gasp for air, pop your eyes, and suck in some cool breaths as you try to chew without touching that red-hot cookie lava. Par … | Continue reading
It happened by accident the first time. Years ago I was staying after school but had late-night plans to meet friends at a downtown movie theater. I was going to catch a lift with my parents, watch the latest Bruce Willis blow-em-up, and then squeeze into my friend Mike’s rusty S … | Continue reading
Move over, Marco Polo. Columbus, Clark, and Cortes, you got nothing, either. Sure, maybe you sailed over choppy waves, fought with cannibals, and documented distant lands. Maybe you traded silk with kings, discovered precious stones, and toppled terrible empires. Maybe you even f … | Continue reading
It’s like rolling a strike for your feet. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #400 Putting your own shoes back on after going bowling appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things. | Continue reading
Orange skies burn as winds whisper for your chilly walk home. The sun dips down in the distance and dogs bark behind backyard fences as your hair blows wildly in the cool and crisp breeze. You squint into the wind and stuff your hands in your thin pockets as you sniff up that smo … | Continue reading
It’s just you and me, Swingline. Sure, we’ve tangled before: Your jagged, splintery arms stabbed sharply back through the top of my book report, you mangled your neck on a powerful hammer-punch, and you didn’t make it through a few fat stacks, forcing me to surgically fingerpick … | Continue reading
I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUTSIDE! I’M OUT … | Continue reading
Germs are real. Tiny baby bugs, squiggly creepy-crawlers, and mini-millipedes are camping under your nails, hot-tubbing in your sweaty palms, and putting their feet up in your fingers. Coughs and colds jump hand to hand and mouth to mouth — latching onto you through handshakes, h … | Continue reading
It ain’t easy. When I graduated from college they draped us all in slippery black gowns, put square hats on our heads, and sat us down in the hot steamy arena to wait patiently for our names to get called. When they did we got up and swished across the stage to accept little ribb … | Continue reading
We’re still animals. Sure, our species has grown up and grown older over the past couple hundred thousand years. We’ve moved out of the jungle and shed most of our body hair, keeping warm with sweatpants and hoodies instead of hairy legs and bushy beards. But we’re still animals. … | Continue reading
The Inlaw Nap is any nap you manage to pull off at the inlaw’s house. As long as it’s not during Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas present unwrapping, or while the birthday cake is served, it is a completely legal nap and fully counts as spending quality time visiting the inlaws. Wh … | Continue reading
They ruled Earth for millions of years. With brains the size of peanuts. And tiny, hilarious arms. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #408 Dinosaurs appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things. | Continue reading
It’s the little girl wearing a tutu on the downtown street. It’s the boy in the Superman outfit at McDonald’s. It’s big rainboots on sunny days, mom’s lipstick smeared across faces, and big bright mismatched costumes. There’s just something so pure and innocent about little kids … | Continue reading
Let’s get tasty. Save yourself some work, save yourself some time, and let’s gobble up the dishes our food’s packed up in: • Ice cream cones. Bubble gum ice cream from Baskin Robbins was a staple of my childhood and I’d always get it in a cup to save the chalky pink frozen gum fo … | Continue reading
SYSTEM ERROR. Sometimes your buzzing box of lights and wires crashes a bad crash and completely stops working. So you reboot, unplug everything, plug everything back in, unplug everything again, plug everything back in again, and finally call in backups in the form of teenage kid … | Continue reading
Warm wind whips and whistles down the streets sending cigarette butts, crumpled receipts, and dry leaves swirling in all directions. Specks of dust glow in deep sunbeam tints as dark clouds shuffle in the sky. There’s a warm and wet sense of electric anticipation as lightning bo … | Continue reading
Stiff creases, unhemmed pants, and itchy tags can’t dent your mood. Now it’s time to change real fast, clear the kitchen runway, and strut your stuff in a private fashion show for your friends, family, and dog. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #413 Trying on your new clothes ag … | Continue reading
Fade to fuzz. It’s always a sad scene when you’re bumping down the highway and your old faves start fritzing out on the radio. Yes, you wince as songs start missing notes and DJs start garbling the weather…. before eventually just dissolving into the distance. Staring back throug … | Continue reading
The first day was scary. When you opened the door everything was a giant swirling abyss of new teachers, new faces, new rules, and new places. So you tiptoed in smiling and shaking hands, learning passwords and policies, and staring around the busy cafeteria holding a red plastic … | Continue reading
I blew it last week. A friend came over after work for that homemade meal I’d been promising her. Since my standard dinner lately has been a plate of nachos and a couple spoons of Nutella I figured it was high time to cook a proper meal. It started well: I snagged a fancy pasta [ … | Continue reading
It sounds like the warm and windy start of summer. It sounds like the cool and quiet finish to fall. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #417 The sound of water lapping against a dock appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things. | Continue reading
Say goodbye kitchen puddles, wet socks, and half-filled cubes. Say hello to AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #418 Carrying the ice cube tray you just filled up all the way back to the freezer without spilling appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things. | Continue reading
Doors can be trouble. Strutting to the mall, strolling to the store, you spy those glassy doubles in the distance just waiting for you to size them up and give them a big push or pull. Sure, it looks easy, but we all know it’s nothing but. Nope, thanks to years of tense negotiati … | Continue reading
The middle of your back is no hands land. Those itchy islands off the coast of Spine Beach see a lot of shade and a lot of showers but not much scratchy, scratchy fingernail loving. When you’re itching hard you might try the ol’ Reverse Angle Elbow Bender a couple times before gi … | Continue reading
Never stop wailing. When you’re singing along with the lyrics of a song and a guitar solo starts up make sure you keep onnnnnn going. We can’t have dead air in your steamy morning shower or all the fans will just hear the sound of you soaping up your armpits and blowing your nose … | Continue reading
We’re all pretty much the same. Packed tightly in our skintight skin is a bumpy clump of slippery organs and brittle bones. Yes, you’re a pile of bones, I’m a bucket of blood, you’re a slab of muscle, I’m a chunk of chub. And no matter what we got squeezing through our veins, zoo … | Continue reading