Communicating effectively is one of the most important life skills you can have. Whether it’s a networking event or an evening with high society at... | Continue reading
Communicating effectively is one of the most important life skills you can have. Whether it’s a networking event or an evening with high society at... | Continue reading
AITA for giving my child the yogurt she asked for?I (43/m) gave my daughter (2/f) the yogurt she requested repeatedly, and she had a meltdown as i... | Continue reading
Mocha chocolateIs all over my apronI need a new oneManager Brian Doesn’t think it looks that badBut what does he know?Last week I saw himMak... | Continue reading
“Facing swelling political pressure and numerous lawsuits by businesses forced to shut down, Gov. Gavin Newsom of California on Monday lifted a str... | Continue reading
- - -- - - | Continue reading
High School Theater Bingo | Continue reading
1. Teach your child the 4 C’s: Confidence, Courage, Cry, and Cut. Your child must have CONFIDENCE when sitting upon the toilet, and COURAGE if the ... | Continue reading
- - -In Your Hands is a Trove of Remarkable Queer FictionIt’s contradictory and capacious. When thinking about curating this issue, I decided to ... | Continue reading
“It’s time to stand up against the muzzling of America.” — Senator Josh Hawley in a tweet, and similarly in an op-ed for the New York Post.- - -Hi... | Continue reading
Doctor, I’ve been feeling really strange these past few days. I haven’t really felt this way in about four years. My chronic migraines have complet... | Continue reading
Harvard: I would shiv someone to answer a question in class.Yale: I wrote a Pulitzer-nominated play about the time I shivved someone to answer a q... | Continue reading
“Sorry you feel the cake I made is a bit dry, Paul. It was meant to commemorate the life of my best friend from childhood. He died when we were ten... | Continue reading
Alarm clock rings and Mama groans.Lil Llama’s still learning from home.Mornings fill Mama with crushing dreadas Llama whines, “My Chromebook’s d... | Continue reading
“This is Just to Say”I have eatenthe eggsthat wereon the counterwhichyou were probablysavingfor breakfast.They weren’t moist or savorylik... | Continue reading
Now that I have reached the age of 65, I cannot more vehemently express my great relief for no longer having to shop around for expensive health in... | Continue reading
Well, they say you should never trust a politician, and it seems I’ve been duped.I consider myself to be a high-information voter. I follow a vari... | Continue reading
6:30 AM: I wake before dawn, screaming from my nightmares. My three love interests burst into the room. They all have one-syllable names like Shale... | Continue reading
Okay, Jerry. I’ll let you have that one. Allowing Dread Lord Nyarlathotep — God of a Thousand Forms, Stalker Among the Stars — a shot at President ... | Continue reading
We used to get Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies from a little window at the back of the junior-high cafeteria. They were 25 cents and the second th... | Continue reading
To download a PDF of this entire list, click here.- - -Early in President Trump’s term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalog the head-spinning num... | Continue reading
1. Gather your guns and place them in the government-approved rainbow trash bag. The bag should have arrived in your mailbox attached to your mail-... | Continue reading
“The White House on Monday released the report of the presidential 1776 Commission, a sweeping attack on liberal thought and activism that calls fo... | Continue reading
“The White House on Monday released the report of the presidential 1776 Commission, a sweeping attack on liberal thought and activism that calls fo... | Continue reading
Hey, Ted! It’s me, OLD GUY. I’m reaching out to you, my creator, to better understand my character.Your depiction of a legendary ad agency in decl... | Continue reading
Democrats’ proposal to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour will be an absolute disaster for small businesses like my own, Gruel & Unusual Foo... | Continue reading
"The first version on the breaking news story on the BBC News website carried the headline: ‘Talented but flawed producer Phil Spector dies aged 81... | Continue reading
“President Donald Trump is preparing to issue around 100 pardons and commutations on his final full day in office Tuesday, according to three peopl... | Continue reading
- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - - | Continue reading
To smileSimple past: I smiled.Present: I smize behind my mask.Present continuous: I am squinting jovially and half-nodding at strangers on the s... | Continue reading
These past two weeks have been dark. And I know a thing or two about darkness, because I’m the prince of it. And while I enjoy chaos and carnage as... | Continue reading
Reading the beautiful, longing, inspired poems in Blizzard, Henri Cole’s new book, I marvel that, no matter the subject — from peeling potatoes, to... | Continue reading
IntroductionYou know when you look up an online recipe, only to sift through a mountain of pointless information just to get to the only section y... | Continue reading
To download a PDF of this entire list, click here.- - -Early in President Trump’s term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalog the head-spinning num... | Continue reading
“I urge my colleagues to vote against this divisive impeachment and realize that dividing America will not save this Republic. I urge my colleagues... | Continue reading
This restaurant commissioned me to create a structure that would allow its patrons to dine comfortably in cold and inclement weather while still ke... | Continue reading
“Democrats are gonna impeach the president for a second time, one week before he leaves office. Why? Politics, and the fact that they want to cance... | Continue reading
1. Trip2. Chip3. Bo/Beau4. Sandy5. Buffy6. Chase7. Hunter8. Tucker9. Scooter10. Sparky11. Trent12. Bentley13. Tanner14. Trace- - -Tru... | Continue reading
The poet Yi Lei became famous in 1987 when she published a poem about female sexual desire in a time when cohabitation before marriage was still il... | Continue reading
“Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) denounced protesters seen clashing with police outside the Capitol as droves of pro-Trump demonstrators descended on Wash... | Continue reading
“Republican Senator Roy Blunt from Missouri said Trump’s actions on the day of the capitol attack were ‘reckless,’ but he says he should finish out... | Continue reading
1. Doubting that the nightmare is really, truly over.2. Praying that whatever vestiges of civility are left will last until the January 20 deadlin... | Continue reading
Goldilocks and the Three BearsOne day, a salaryman named Tatsuhiro receives a phone call from a stranger who calls herself Goldilocks. Her voice r... | Continue reading
“Any attempt to impeach President Trump would not only be unsuccessful in the Senate but would be a dangerous precedent for the future of the presi... | Continue reading
“The US has recorded over 4,000 COVID-19 deaths in one day for the first time” — SBS News, 1/8/21- - -Guys, look, I love human sacrifice. You know... | Continue reading
Our good friend, poet Ilya Kaminsky, knows contemporary poetry like no one else. We’re proud to be publishing his mini-reviews and one-question int... | Continue reading
“We are living Orwell’s 1984.” — Donald Trump Jr. after Twitter permanently suspended his father’s account for inciting violence.- - -It’s finally... | Continue reading
Hey, it’s me, Dry January. The one you pledged abstinence to. Look, I know you had honest intentions. I heard you when you vowed to make up for dri... | Continue reading