Dear ADM Boom,This notice is being sent to you on behalf of the Board of Directors of the Cherry Tree Lane Neighbourhood Association in regards to... | Continue reading
Tweets from the Bath & Body Works Crisis Communications Team in the Year 2030 | Continue reading
Nine to Five: An Illustrated Day in the Life of a Mom Who Does it All | Continue reading
I know, I know. COVID rates are on the decline, and mask mandates are being lifted, and millions of houses around the world are filled with unwante... | Continue reading
Dear User, you’re almost finished creating an account!To verify you’re not a robot, please click here.Something’s not right. Please click here ag... | Continue reading
Somewhere near the middle of his third collection, The Monster I Am Today: Leontyne Price and a Life in Verse, the poet Kevin Simmonds defines “mon... | Continue reading
Dear HR Department,I am writing to you to inquire about company policy regarding which skin color emoji I am allowed to use on the Slack messaging... | Continue reading
“Job openings are at record highs. Why aren’t Americans filling them?” — The Wall Street Journal, 7/9/21- - -My good lords, I must bring to your ... | Continue reading
“The summer before senior year of high school is a great time for students to make progress on the college application process.”— U.S. News & ... | Continue reading
“Richard Branson, the British billionaire, plans to blast into space on Sunday from New Mexico aboard a rocket made by his company Virgin Galactic.... | Continue reading
Pete Cavett had been on the job three years, but this was the first time Sarge was letting him go undercover. He knew why. The mark had a man-kille... | Continue reading
The year was 1997, when radio changed the face of narrative and literary culture in America.GENE, STATION MANAGER: We knew they would become the v... | Continue reading
When my dear companion Cecil purloined a pair of tickets to the premiere of Rockwell: Triple Portrait of a Man starring Daniel Day-Lewis, I was ecs... | Continue reading
1. You know, from hard-won experience, that time here is fleeting, but your constant speechifying about it makes spending any time with you a real ... | Continue reading
“[Britney] Spears, who is thirty-nine has spent the past thirteen years living under a conservatorship, a legal structure in which a person’s perso... | Continue reading
Another wonderful day on extended unemployment benefits! I’m sure you’re wondering how I waste your hard-earned tax dollars with my copious amounts... | Continue reading
Writing can be hard. With its eyeball-arresting notifications and unlimited access to fake nudes of Eugene Levy, writing on a computer can be impos... | Continue reading
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was only eight years old when he wrote his first symphony! I’ve never heard it, and I don’t know anyone who has.At 18, Ale... | Continue reading
Beaver of Fine Arts: The Gallery Is Re-Opening, and Why You Shouldn't Miss It | Continue reading
Hey, girl. I see you on the trails at 5 AM, running for that beach body. Let me let you in on a little secret. There are really only two steps to g... | Continue reading
“The American sprinter Sha’Carri Richardson, who was set for a star turn at the Tokyo Olympics this month, could miss the Games after testing posit... | Continue reading
A single pinwheel spinning in a light breeze.- - -Microwave popcorn.- - -Having two positive thoughts in a row.- - -Riding a Ferris wheel, a... | Continue reading
1. You have no chance of winning.2. Despite the odds, you are overly confident about your ability to win.3. The rules are unnecessarily complicat... | Continue reading
I, like so many of you, am filled with disappointment. But just because Bill Cosby was released from prison doesn’t mean the fight is over. We must... | Continue reading
Is Canada socialist? Canada is a constitutional monarchy with a parliamentary system. While it fully embraces a capitalist economic infrastructure... | Continue reading
We are the couple who got married in the gingerbread house from “Hansel and Gretel,” and we would like to say how deeply and unreservedly sorry we ... | Continue reading
Dear Patrons of Brews For All,You’re probably aware of the bad press we received this week. We got a call from a would-be customer the other night... | Continue reading
Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads: Here is a man who would not take it anymore, a man who stood up against the comma splices, the adverbs, the mi... | Continue reading
What’s the largest animal you’ve ever hit with a car?What’s the age you thought you’d be when you’d get married? Now subtract the number of childr... | Continue reading
To our loyal LGBTQ+ customers,Happy Pride! If you’ve been paying attention to our social media, Bryant White & Company has been vocally suppor... | Continue reading
Scientists have discovered new data, which will surprise you but confirms what medical journals have been saying all along: your positive attitude ... | Continue reading
MacbethAct 1, Scene 7MACBETH: If we should fail?LADY MACBETH: We Fail? But screw your courage to the sticking place, and we’ll not fail! I shall... | Continue reading
“It’s no secret that I oppose eliminating the Senate’s 60-vote threshold… If anyone expected me to reverse my position because my party now control... | Continue reading
“Former top aides to President Donald Trump have begun an aggressive push to combat the teaching of critical race theory and capitalize on the issu... | Continue reading
Cancel culture is out of control in the United States. When I was a child, I looked up to George Washington because of his heroic deeds. If George ... | Continue reading
I am “wearing pajamas at 7 PM” years old.- - -I am “how much do you want to cover your greys?” years old.- - -I am “I remember Clippy” years o... | Continue reading
I made a promise long ago that I wouldn’t return to this life. But I can tell by the look in your eyes that you boys are out of options. You need t... | Continue reading
“The possibility that the pandemic began with an escape from the Wuhan Institute of Virology is attracting fresh attention. President Biden has ask... | Continue reading
It’s hard to tell. No lavender sweater. Chucks instead of tasseled loafers. Jet black hair underneath a unisex Vans hoodie. But he definitely has t... | Continue reading
Girl, Dry Your Face.Girl, You Used the Regular Old Body Towel Instead of Your Special Face Towel, the One Made Out of Raw Bamboo Fibers or Somethi... | Continue reading
Dear Co-worker,I couldn’t help but notice your discomfort while standing next to you at the urinal in the office bathroom yesterday. Being a gay m... | Continue reading
I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up. By met, I mean I hacked into my ex’s Peloton account to get a look at this Dean, the chisel... | Continue reading
What shall we do with this wretched mustacheGrowing on my lip like an errant eyelash?Is it not enough that I’m having a hot flashEarly in the mo... | Continue reading
Amazon Prime Day used to mean something. When I was young, my family would joyfully celebrate the legacy of a mega-corporation that runs hundreds o... | Continue reading
Scientific Name: Patria Adultus Middle AmericanusCommon Names: Dad, Pop, Old ManNative to: North Central United States, with heavy concentrations... | Continue reading
On getting bullied when I was five:“We do not fight with our hands; we fight with our words. Let me help you brainstorm. What does your bully hate... | Continue reading