Can I just say, I am so sick of hearing about Nostradamus. I mean, obviously, the comparison has been there for ages, but last year was harder than... | Continue reading
“As the nation reacts to the guilty verdict a jury handed to Derek Chauvin in the killing of George Floyd, Republican-led states are introducing pu... | Continue reading
Amanda Uhle spoke with Nikita Lalwani about her new novel, You People, which Publisher’s Weekly says, “surges with passion, intrigue, and a rigorou... | Continue reading
1. No one wants to say it out loud, but the public expects you to die for your district.2. As the day begins, everyone lines up six feet apart... | Continue reading
Hey, how’s it going? I’m a Salad Bar, and we’re back. Know what that means? It means the pandemic is pretty much over.What, you don’t believe me?... | Continue reading
Write an Agatha Christie-style mystery where a woman leaves a room for five minutes and returns to find the keychain left on her desk is now missin... | Continue reading
A young dad, feels 98Won the lottery, blew it on childcare that dayIt’s a french fry in your ChardonnayIt’s a fresh diaper grabbed two seconds t... | Continue reading
“Matt Gaetz has denied ever paying for sex, and over the past two weeks has sought to frame the [sex-trafficking of an underaged girl] allegations ... | Continue reading
Dear Faculty in Hell,In addition to synchronous, asynchronous, blended, and hybrid online courses, faculty are encouraged to adapt the following f... | Continue reading
"On Friday, Punchbowl News obtained a document detailing the ‘America First Caucus,’ which would be led by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Rep. Pau... | Continue reading
“Fox News host Sean Hannity has described Adam Toledo, the child shot dead by a Chicago police officer, as a “13-year-old man,” drawing comparisons... | Continue reading
Hello, toddler! So, you’ve tested your parents with colic, broken their will to live during sleep training, then lulled them into a false sense of ... | Continue reading
Angels in AmericaSubject: SUBMIT, SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF HEAVENGREETINGS PROPHETTHE GREAT WORK BEGINSI I I I KNOW THAT I CAN COUNT ON YOUR FINAN... | Continue reading
Now that we’re vaccinated, I’m going to go insane. I’m talking tonight, you and me, shots on shots, blacking out, dancing until dawn… well, maybe n... | Continue reading
Heyyyy, girl. It’s me: Low-Rise Jeans, returning after a decade of R&R in the back of Paris Hilton’s closet. Yes, it was painful being the firs... | Continue reading
As a centrist Democrat, I like many others, have been concerned about the rise in clowns waiting behind the shower curtain to stab us to death. Obv... | Continue reading
Dolly Parton’s Tennessee house is five minutes from mine. There are tour buses parked out front most days. My son always thought she was sending hi... | Continue reading
Would you rather answer the school district’s “Return to Buildings” survey, OR undergo a colonoscopy without anesthesia?Would you rather be hated ... | Continue reading
Would you rather answer the school district’s “Return to Buildings” survey, OR undergo a colonoscopy without anesthesia?Would you rather be hated ... | Continue reading
Hear me! I am Alexander the Great, Madman of Macedonia, Accursed Conqueror of the World, and I absolutely suck at the board game Risk.You’d think ... | Continue reading
This house is really gorgeous. I love the acres of lush backyard, the seven king-sized bedrooms, the self-cleaning bathrooms, and the price is righ... | Continue reading
Beaver of Fine Arts: Mid-Term Grades Are Due Wednesday, Good Luck | Continue reading
What’s in it?Every woman deserves to know exactly what’s in her birth control. Rush is a Canadian progressive rock power trio whose golden era is ... | Continue reading
At 5 PM every day, you get an urge… to walk through the synthetic floral section of your local Michaels.You’re living paycheck to paycheck but spe... | Continue reading
“This Is Just To Say”I have eaten, the plumsthat were inthe iceboxspecificallybetween the milk and cheesethe block of cheddar and the 2% mil... | Continue reading
Mario KartYou and the seven other members of your grad school cohort are competing for the last tenure-track job in the Mushroom Kingdom. It’s a s... | Continue reading
Welcome to the impromptu start of my non-fungible token (NFT) career. I’m so happy you’re here to witness the first steps of what I hope to be a ve... | Continue reading
Dear Sam and Sylvie,This is to inform you that, effective immediately, your mother and I will be parenting asynchronously. This is not a punishmen... | Continue reading
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first introduced the “five stages of grief” in her book On Death And Dying. Initially based on her stud... | Continue reading
Greetings, colleagues —As we start planning our return to the office, we wanted to give you a gentle heads-up that we’ve made a few changes to our... | Continue reading
INT. BIG CITY HEDGE FUNDTessie Jacobs (30-something, blonde) stares at a bar graph with two columns: “money” and “not money.” Her boss (you know h... | Continue reading
OldieHalf crampFailslideKickflopShakieBackside flabFeeble grindCricked grindBoredslideMcWistCrabbylerialAlley-oopsNo-computeInward mea... | Continue reading
Hello, it’s me, the long strand of Christmas lights hanging from your house. You may not remember that I exist, it’s been so long since you acknowl... | Continue reading
Dear students of WR112 – Personal Writing,I apologize for the delay in returning your graded personal essays. As you may or may not be aware, I am... | Continue reading
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” — quote often misattributed to Benjamin Franklin. (His original line was probably about... | Continue reading
“My warning, if you will, to corporate America is to stay out of politics,” said Sen. Mitch McConnell, who has long argued that corporate donations... | Continue reading
1. What was once a beautiful creature has suddenly transformed into a vicious, cruel monster with lovely hair.2. Its presence makes all living cre... | Continue reading
“Donald Trump and Tucker Carlson led rightwing backlash after Major League Baseball said it would not play its All-Star game in Georgia because of ... | Continue reading
The first public literary reading I ever gave was at Manhattan’s Le Poisson Rouge for a now-defunct magazine’s issue showcase. I was 21 years old a... | Continue reading
As president of TD Bank, I manage $1.7 trillion in assets, but the only thing that brings me joy is our little plastic pens. Cash is a social const... | Continue reading
I’m proud of my work as an auto mechanic, and nothing gets me more excited than souping up a ride for somebody. Normally, the satisfaction of a job... | Continue reading
“In May, a swarm of billions of cicadas known as Brood X will emerge from the earth after hibernating for the past 17 years.” — Slate- - -1. S... | Continue reading
“Our house, in the middle of our street.”Dear Homeowners: As you may have noticed, our development constructed a new roadway surrounding your home... | Continue reading
FROM: Simon Peter (simon.peter@alphaomega.org)TO: All MembersDATE: Wednesday, March 25, 33SUBJECT: Message from the Boss: NAILED IT!!Hey team!... | Continue reading
Give Yourself a BreakStart by naming and acknowledging the trauma: you’ve suffered, been crucified, died, been buried, and descended to hell. Now ... | Continue reading
When Moses showed up out of nowhere to shepherd “the Chosen People” out of Egypt, I had a sinking feeling that we Jews were once again “chosen” for... | Continue reading
“Federal investigators are examining whether Rep. Matt Gaetz engaged in a relationship with a woman that began when she was 17 years old and whethe... | Continue reading